Fun With Anti-Bayesian Text

Though I try not to open any spam, occasionally one slips by. Then I get gems like this one:

“his head as he hurried away.“It is the end of romance,” shouted Telfer, who stood beside Freedom Smith
and beating on his head with a woollen cap, and Freedom swinging a lantern”

I’m not sure what it means. Sounds like an excerpt from a fairly melodramatic post-modern novel. So I thought a bit of a game might be fun. Post something out of your spam filter (this one was even funnier with the spam part of the message being about stronger orgasms or something) and make a context for it or one up-thread. For example:

The novel Smith and Telfer is a look deep into the mind of modern man. Obviously, Telfer has just been dumped and is not taking it well. Smith, trying to cheer him up, has taken him out hunting. The author shameless rips off both The Deer Hunter and Brokeback Mountain in an attempt to write a novel that will eventually become an Oscar-winning screenplay.

Actually, the quoted spam reads like something Robert Anton Wilson would write. The next sentence probably talks about sentient squirrels and the hidden priests of Mu or something like that. :slight_smile:

Damn why do i only get spam about having a bigger penis? That’s so unfair! I want cool spam like you get. :frowning:

(Besides, my penis is already an appropriate size.)
Miss Zelie Zelerton :wink:

My filter is too good. All my spam is in Portuguese. No fala.

Some of that is an art form in itself. I just went through my spam folder and found this:

**It’s herbal solution what hasn’t side effect, but has 100% guaranteeed
results!

Don`'t loose your chance and but know wihtout doubts, you will be
impressed with results!!!

Clisk h-ere:**

It’s almost metaphysical!

One of the best spam subject lines I’ve gotten - In my work email:

OMG HUGE PEN1S SIZE!!!

Caused me to burst out laughing in front of a pack of bewildered customers. I tried to disguise it as a coughing fit, which just made me look weirder.

Subject: the Meds at L0W: Ciaa11is, Xannax, /iagra, Valiuum, Zo1oft, Ambiien, Atiivan, Merridia my

use sandwich thus parents respect. here rich nothing.
allow reply wrong few news letters? reading the night turning we beautiful. arms rich somewhere fire friends anybody.
money end bad being find, filled anybody very we.
anybody studied you, promised mischievous he thats reading.
why immediate news profession. black promised commit mentioned.

I’ll get back to this (I can have fun with that first line alone even), but I’ve got some errands to run.

I’ve gotten PeniSpam that says:

“GET A BULKY POLE”

and

“BIGGER UR SHORT DICK”

(reminded me of “a noble spirit embiggens the smallest man”)

Your ideas intrigue me…

They’re excepts from the 1916 book “Windy McPherson’s Son” by Sherwood Anderson. It’s a semi-autobiographical novel about a young man from a small town who becomes a success, and then has doubts about his life and the things he did to get there.

Here’s one of my latest I recieved. As near as I can tell It sounds like a crime scene investigator making a report on acid. Although I got to give props. I have never seen “efflorescent” in print before except as to define efflorescent

Sounds to me like a commentary on the Iraq War.