That Which You Have Promised Must You Perform [spam subject lines]

The thread title is the subject line of an e-mail spam message I have in my spambox. I love looking through my spambox to read all the hilarious subject lines.

Such hits included are:

[li]Infection in our cinema[/li][li]Obama broke his leg[/li][li]That the sun itself[/li][li]vermengbaar[/li][li]Scandalous! Aguilara and Norris[/li][li]maanvormige[/li][li]With that concession, Soros signed the documents Soros promised[/li][li]Need mouse to become tiger?[/li][li]Suck it.[/li][li]Make your zipper knight the best in the whole town[/li][li]I wanna worry you[/li][li]onmeetlikheid[/li][li]Power drillo won’t be flaccid[/li][/ul]

How can you not love such whimsy? Okay, you share now.

On a more serious note, why is it that some of these are sent by “me”? How bad is this?

Oh, yours are better than mine, but I do get a few chuckles out of:

Christian sex uGide Essentials - Does Yoour Christian sex Guide Talk About This?

If You Doo This Your Woman Will Kick You Out of Bed nad Search For Another Lover

Open it or get constipation

The names in the “from” column are often amusing:

Puetz Stanford
Zona Faqpu
Dwana Sidikj
Pontes MIchale
Grauel Monserratte
Earlene Ebazuezy
Ayomide Banvard
Ragel Faxyk

The list goes on and on.

I never even though of listing the crazy names of all these e-mails!


New Season New Offers New Skydiving Gloves Best Price

Band name!

Has anyone else gotten “Use mind to improve your fang!”?

“Do you want bigger breast?!”

Well, um, only if I want to walk in circles…

At this point, of course, it becomes mandatory to mention – Poorly-drawn cartoons inspired by actual spam subject lines!

There was one with the title, “HELLO ME NOT DEAD” and an annoyed elmo climbing out of a coffin. Pretty funny.

Also, one of my spams used the euphemism “dignity” to refer to a penis, so I started referring to one’s dignity with my brother, if I wanted to keep sexual meaning cryptic to others.

If I ever have a boyfriend again, I’ll refer to him on the boards as “ZipperKnight” :smiley:

Best spam subject I ever got was “Gay terrorist kills eight in fabulous bombing”.

What makes you think you won’t have a boyfriend again? :confused:

That’s awesome!

Just to let you know that those three mean ‘mixable’, ‘crescent shaped’ and ‘inmeasurable’, in that order. Makes you want to know what they are talking about…

Mine for today were:

[li] Why weren’t you there?[/li][li] Megan Fox raped a criminal[/li][li] Hallo The day of love[/li][li] For non-muslim users only[/li][/ul]

Maybe it’s time for a consecutive spam post thread sometime?

My favorite one that I got recently was:

Men with big members don’t have to go down on their girlfriends

Of all the reasons for a guy to want a bigger penis, I don’t think that one ever crossed my mind. Are there really guys out there thinking “Man, I hate giving my girlfriend oral. But what can I do about it?”

Gay Rights Terrorist Kills Eight In ‘Fabulous’ Bombing

Aghris: Thanks for the translations. What language were they? German or such?

Same here. Spam subject lines are so crazy!

So it’s been a week and I’ve gotten a few decent spam subject lines:

[li]Hot Aniston Vulgar Video[/li][li]Watch Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince Clips*[/li][li]Having a bigger tool is not a dream, it[big black square]s reality[/li][li]List of your mistakes[/li][li]If you love your wife, give your best to them (them?)[/li][li]Let your pink do the thing. Try it today (My pink?)[/li][li]Heal for your woody![/li][/ul]

*This one was from MySpace, but I’m pretty sure I told them not to send me any shit other than message notifications, so I sent it where it belongs. The spam folder. Upon some actual thought, now my notifications are going to get sent to my spam folder and I’ll have to unmark Myspace as a spam sender. Shit.

How about everyone else? Get any good spam subject lines in the past week?

Yep. A few. Some of these work great as sequential spam too.

[li] Dad’s fishing trip fotos[/li][li] Unknown Format[/li][li] Know Andrew’s Surname[/li][li] Reply, you, motherf-r!*[/li][/ul]

  • You know it’s gonna be a bad day when even you spam starts to swear at you.
    The earlier translation was from Dutch by the way, with a few spellng mistakes. What are spammer thinking? they really think Dutch is a common enough language to send spam with?

I love that last one! It is indeed a bad sign when your spam is cussing you out. :-/

I even got one of my own, not nearly as harsh as yours though:

[li]Hey, pal, damn you![/ul][/li]From someone named Levon Deprey

On a quick second search I came upon the following gems that I’m not sure how I missed:

[li]Incredible Hulk?s choice is the new incredible Cialis![/li][li]Your pork pistol won’t fail[/ul][/li]
That’s right, my pork pistol. :dubious: