No soap – radio!
I once heard, that if you took all of a man’s body parts and spread them out end to end, then that man would die.
What do you do when you cum across a penguin?
You wipe him off.
Two men walked into a bar, the third one ducked.
Q: What’s black and white and red all over?
A: A skunk in a blender.
I once wrote a book on penguins. Paper would’ve been easier.
The anti-funny is my absolute favorite kind of funny!! Here’s one of my favorite jokes ever:
And who can forget this one:
The most famous anti-joke ever:
Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
A. To get to the other side.
What do you call a black man flying a plane?
A pilot, you racist bastard!
Daniel
Am I a bad person because I laughed at this for like an hour?
Hell I’m laughing at most of them!
i’m so going to hell…
:sniker: cause she was a woman 
This is paraphrased from A Prairie Home Companion.
There were these two penguins sitting on an ice floe, and the first penguin says to the second penguin, “You know, it looks like we’re wearing tuxedos.” And the second penguin turns to the first penguin and says, “What makes you think I’m not?”
I love these things.
How do you drown a blonde?
Hold her head underwater until she can no longer breathe and stops struggling.
Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory?
Repeated absences and stealing.
How do you know when a Frenchman has been near your house?
You don’t, really, unless you were there to see him or if one of your neighbors saw him. I wouldn’t worry about it, really.
Man 1: Knock, Knock
Man 2: Who’s there?
Man 1: It’s me Johnny.
Man 2: Oh, hey man! Come on in, and have a drink.
A white man is driving his Cadillac on a highway in Texas. He notices a black man pushing his bicycle along the side of the road.
He pulls over to talk to the black man and offer him a ride. He says “I can’t fit your bike in my car, but I can tie it to the back and let you ride behind me. If I’m going too fast, just yell.”
The black man says “No thanks, that sounds pretty risky” and keeps pushing his bike down the road.
Just remember that wherever you go, there you are.
Q: What’s the difference between a duck?
A: One of its legs are both the same.
Q: How many surrealists does it take to unscrew a lightbulb?
A: Giraffe.
I heard: Two, one to hold the Giraffe the other to fill the bathtub with multicolored power tools.
Q: How many Zen Buddhist does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: The nightingale sings in the garden.
I’m not sure if it qualifies for the OP- I can see an argument either way- but Kurt Vonnegut said this was one of his favorite jokes:
Q: What’s the white stuff in the middle of bird shit?
A: That’s bird shit too.
Q: What did Captain Cook say to his men before they got on the ship?
A: Let’s get on the ship, men!
Q: Why did the plane crash?
A: Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!
Q: Why did the girl fall off the swing?
A: Because someone threw a piano at her.
Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
A: “Where’s my tractor?”
Q: What’s red and smells like blue paint?
A: Red paint.
Did you hear about the pirate movie? It was rated R for Strong Language and Adult Situations.
How many lightbulbs does it take to screw up an astronomer?
A man walks into a bar with a whale under his arm and a bird on his shoulder. The bar tender says “What’ll it be” and the bird replies “chirp chirp.”
What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot.
Hickory dickory dock
A cow ran up the clock
The clock collapsed
Q: How do you stop a monkey from stealing your credit cards?
A: Hit him with a bus!
I was always told it was bird pee.