Anxious about life; need advice/ideas

I’m also curious about why you live in NYC. I can understand if you went there for a writing job, but then I see that you work in retail. I doubt you moved to NYC for a “crappy retail job”, tho.

I think there’s some good advice given by other posters. I’m sorry I can’t really add to that, but I can offer words of support and encouragement. Sometimes life is hard, and the only thing to do is to keep slogging it out until you cross the summit. It sounds like you have a good handle on your options and opportunities, and in a situations like yours, the more of those you have, the more likely that something will happen that starts things in your favor.

If you weren’t working retail, what would you like to be doing for a living?

Was the stress of the old job more or less than the stress you have now? If less, beg for it back. If more, is it the kind of job you can do elsewhere with less stress? (I have no idea what kind of job it is.)

Others have given better advice than I can, but I wanted to wish you well.

More ideas. You should consider taking civil service exams and working for the City in general. Lower end jobs start around 30k which is a darn big step up from where you are, plus there are good health benefits and fairly generous vacation and sick leave allowances. In addition, municipal employees may be given preferential consideration in subsidized housing through current housing lotteries.

Example job you are totally qualified for:
Benefits eligibility specialist
http://www.nyc.gov/html/dcas/downloads/pdf/noes/201303344000.pdf

Currently scheduled tests for civil service positions:
http://www.nyc.gov/html/dcas/html/employment/monthlyexamschedule.shtml

Search open non-comeptitive (no test required) positions:
https://a127-jobs.nyc.gov/

Getting a job with the City is a rather slow process so why not put some irons in the fire while you consider other options?

If you do well on standardized tests, you can tutor. You might not make a lot of money right away, but you could end up getting paid pretty well for evening and weekend work.

I’m a tutor in NYC, and I’d be happy to help you make a go of it. (There’s plenty of business to go around!) PM me if you’re interested.

Obviously some kind of a saint or some kind of sucker to take on a homeless, jobless boyfriend and his MOTHER. Since sissy thinks she could possible get to move in there too, I am voting sucker.

What you need is a short term fix to tide you through while you make some long term decisions and plans.

Get yourself to every mall in Queens and put in an application for Holiday help. Every single sale and look at our new items e-mail I have been getting from Pier I, etc is also pushing for people for seasonal help. Schmooze with a friendly salesperson to find out the angle on being seen rather than having your application put in a pile.

Put an ad up on Craigslist. You will fill in for the day as a receptionist, help wrap glassware, whatever someone needs. It’s free and you could get some fast cash.

When I was broke, I sent a well-written, slightly humorous and humble snail mail letter to every restaurant in town (note: plan may need to be scaled down for NYC) stating that I would like to be a server. I got several good offers, and food service is among the most lucrative of the low-skill casual jobs. Be aware that in NYC restaurants may try to screw new servers by withholding the first month’s paycheck etc. Make sure you stand up for yourself negotiating.

I bought twenty pounds of beans, twenty pounds of rice and a gallon of hot sauce from Costco. That’s about 1,000 servings of food.

Oh God, I feel for you…especially having to deal with bedbugs on top of everything else.

I wish I could help you as I live in Queens, too. If you ever want to sell the Packtite, PM me…I have escaped bedbugs so far but my building has had problems. One of my neighbors used to have one he lent out but he just moved so I wouldn’t mind picking up a communal one for our building.

It is no one’s business why I moved to NYC, but I came here because a man attacked me with a crowbar in my old home of New Orleans. Is that good enough for y’all? Satisfied now that I was desperate enough to get out of there and come here? Is NYC only for rich people and I just missed the memo? :mad:

Thank you to those with advice. I’ve been applying and calling back. A couple of y’all, check your PMs please.

It’s an extremely expensive city to live in. People were trying to help you and were brainstorming for ideas.

People have offered you sincere and honest ideas, and this is your response?

Suddenly I’m not surprised you don’t find the world particularly embracing, at the moment. I also sincerely hope things turn around for you soon. (Perhaps someone will yet appear, with whatever sort of suggestions you were seeking!)

No need to be nasty; people here are trying to help you. Instead, maybe just say “I moved here for personal reasons.”

holy crap. maybe if you were a little nicer to people who are trying to help you the managers at Walgreens would give you more hours.

And even if that WAS the reason you moved from New Orleans there are like 7 statest between there and NY and almost all of them have lower cost of living than NYC. All they were saying is maybe you should go to them instead of NYC unelss you have some pressing need to be there.

I’m sorry you’ve encountered such difficulties, but though it might not only be for rich people, NYC’s cost of living is goddamned brutal. People were merely trying to figure out whether there were options somewhere between “crash with relatives in FL” and “try to eke out a living in the city with the highest cost-of-living prices in the US” - especially for housing costs.

Wow.

I know you’re stressed about your situation, but this nastiness is totally unwarranted.

But OP isn’t paying a lot in rent, and doesn’t have to maintain a car. I paid more for a microscopic 1BR in Michigan, and I did have to maintain a car. There’s nothing wrong with where the OP is, she just needs to increase her income, and there is no better place than NYC for that right now.

Did the OP overreact a little? Perhaps. But I don’t think all of the replies were helpful or even fact-based. OMG NEW YORK IS EXPENSIVE I HEARD!!! LOLZ.

And Snowboarder Bo, what “nastiness” – a mean smiley? really?

And I, and I think quite a few others, were suggesting that in a tough situation, thinking outside your more obvious options just might be worthwhile. She had a bunch of options, but was obviously soliciting more, and brainstorming requires pushing against limits.

Re Bo’s response - I think questioners were looking for an answer like “because it’s the center of the publishing market in the US and there is strong evidence that location still matters in getting writing jobs” or “I have great friends here who are truly helping me look for other options but I wanted to post for more advice so I don’t feel like a leech” or “that’s a good question - I do have friends in (large/less expensive city) who might be of help if it comes down to it”, instead of a response that doesn’t actually answer what’s being asked.

My personal life is just that, personal. If I’d wanted y’all to know some things, I would’ve told you from the beginning. If I wanted to be lectured and looked down upon, I would’ve asked for it. No one forced you to open this thread and push ‘Reply’. Maybe I don’t WANT to reminisce about the time I was almost murdered to strangers. What would you say if I’d asked you questions like that – probably you’d say “That’s none of your business”. I’m not asking for money. I’m not asking for an organ donation. Don’t go needling me for this or that when this or that is none of your business.

As one of the people who inquired as to what drew you (or drove you) to NYC - if was a personal reason and not a career on, then you can just say so. Which you obviously have now, so I’m not going to press the question further.

You seem to have assumed it was intended as a personal question, though, which is too bad. It was more a matter of “did you come to be a writer / poet / work in advertising copy / break into TV scriptwriting”, etc., such that working 15-20 hours a week but at better pay is really what you’re looking for long term, and what you’re asking for advice about is a temporary shoring up of finances in the short term, in order to leave yourself time to work on your real interests. Your OP wasn’t exactly clear on if you wanted strictly short term advice, or a mix of short and long term. I’d give very different advice for living in NYC long term versus short term.

Most people come to NY because “if you can make it there, you can make it anywhere”. You mentioned that your family is in Florida and you didn’t go to college here as far as I know, so my assumption would have been that you most likely fell into that camp - so what are you trying to “make it” in? If the answer is “nothing in particular, even though many people have commented on a notable facility with words, I’m just tryin’ to survive here”, that’s a legit answer.

I’d start by logging off this message board.