I’ve tried to help my friend with a cover letter for a Very Important Internship, but it’s like the blind leading the blind - we’re both in school and neither of us have much experience with these things. I’ve quoted only the middle part, because the first and last paragraph are pretty good…
(Specific names of schools removed)
It seems to me that it’s a little muddled in what, exactly, happened - especially why. The series of events for my friend was that she was at an Engineering School, but didn’t enjoy it, so left, but missed application deadlines for Liberal Arts School. After a semester off, she went to Liberal Arts School, but hated it as well, so left and came back to Engineering School.
Any help is appreciated! I’m sure I’ll need the advice too, in the next few months.
That’s the exact wrong way to go about writing a cover letter. The goal is to come up with a very brief document to the effect of “I’m awesome, and here’s why you should look at my resume”. Do not spend that precious space calling attention to any deficiencies on your part.
My format for cover letters is something like this:
You can go a bit longer, but not too much. At three paragraphs, I’d start to worry a bit.
That’s what I thought, but during the first interview, they said that it would be prudent to put why there’s a gap/change in schools inside of the cover letter, to clarify. I think this is for the second interview, with the Big Cheese, as it were.
This is all wrong. First off, it’s way too long. They really, really don’t care about her life story or her delicate feelings or what she felt like paying for school. They will probably just chuck the whole thing in the bin rather than trying to muddle through it. Cover letters should be short and sweet- a paragraph or so. Say what needs to be said and get out.
And it should be about what you can do for the company, not what the company can do for you. This whole letter is just “I”, “I”, “I” and “I”. And lots off flaky stuff a bout career goals, etc. The company doesn’t care. Their goal is to make money. Even interns are ultimately there to make the company money. You gotta explain how you can help with that.
However, a cover letter is the place to explain something on your resume that doesn’t add up. But that means explain what happened, not explain why it happened and try to justify it. They need to know she didn’t leave the first school because she was kicked out for growing pot in the lounge or something. They don’t need to know her entire thought process during the time period.
Your friend did something flaky. Luckily she was young when she did it. A lot of people will understand that. But cloaking it in all this “maturity” and “tough choices” BS just makes it look like you aren’t willing to own up to what has happened or talk straight about it (or are just insanely deluded). This letter sounds like a kid who broke a window with a baseball and is trying to cover it up, not the work of a mature adult. Not only does it do nothing to make the incident look any better, but makes me wonder about everything else this person wrote.
This is something you should be able to explain in 2-3 sentences. Something like “In 2004 I transfered to St. Hedgetrimmer University to pursue a degree in Advanced Swimming. While working with Dr. Evilpants in the Astrology Department I discovered a passion for Giant Robots. On Dr. Evilpants’ advice, I returned to Techtech College, where I will graduate with a degree in Giant Robot Defense in June of 2008.”
Anyway, ignore my advice at your peril. On job stuff (and most of life), simple and honest is always the best solution.
And don’t count too much on one internship. Chances are you will be applying to hundreds of jobs and internships before you find something that works. Finding a job sucks, but you can’t let it get you down. I’m a What Color is your Parachute freak (though I ignore all the worksheets and activities) and I really advise you to read it.
Great advice, even sven, but what makes this difficult is the first guy told them to include it. The cover letter before this was exactly what you’d expect - this is me, this is why I’m good, etc.
Well, they said to include an explanation, not offer a long confusing and somewhat boring expository on why she transferred schools. It’s easy enough to do this without drawing attention to all these difficulties.
Let me put it this way. I withdrew twice from school during my undergraduate education as a result of medical problems. For graduate admissions, rather than slog through my entire life story, I submitted a statement with my transcript (per their request) that said this:
That’s all it said. I didn’t bother explaining all the suffering and toil and drama that went along with dealing with those medical issues, because when it comes to applications and cover letters, employers care way more about where you are now than where you were in the past. I didn’t even bother mentioning how awesome I was to return to school and finish strong after such a huge derailment of my plans, because it speaks for itself. You have to let your actions and your work speak for itself.
I think the author’s narrative of making ‘‘tough decisions’’ is an interesting one but it doesn’t address the issue succinctly, it makes the issue the entire focal point of the paper. You do not want a weakness to be the entire focal point of a cover letter. There is a way to address discrepancies and gaps without dropping the ‘‘I’m awesome’’ thread. Instead of devoting an entire paragraph to why being indecisive sets her apart from other applicants, she can say, ‘‘In Fall of blah blah I made the difficult decision to blah blah’’ and then go on and talk about other, more relevant things, like how her experiences will benefit the company.
As indicated on my resume, I took a semester off to revisit my goals and acquire additional funding to achieve them. After a transfer to another school, it had become evident that my chosen career would best be served by returning to xxxxxxx. While difficult, the experience cemented my career choice and determination to succeed.
Succinct and concise is what you’re looking for. The original makes eyes glaze over, is too wordy, confusing, “I” oriented and contains too many negatives.
I like everything except “revisit” my goals; to me it smacks of the jargon I’d hear from a social worker (apologies if you are a social worker). How about “refine” my goals?