We had a Ron thread. Maybe we need a Maynard thread.
I have to confess that on a few occasions, I have caught myself Maynarding. It seems to happen when my partner is out of town (he travels a lot on business). Since I work at home, alone, I found myself needing an ear to bend. So I’m wondering: What’s going on with Maynard’s SO (wife?)? How does she handle him? Has anyone talked with her about this?
But there’s something else that might have an effect. Have your own simultaneous conversation with him, but on a totally different topic. When he starts talking about his building project, start talking about maybe a movie you’ve seen, or your work. Make your voice sound like you were really conversing with him, asking him questions, waiting for a response, reacting to that response, etc. I’m curious about his reaction to this.
And I think we’re going to see the verb “to Maynard” around here for a long time.
Does this actually send a clear message? I would think it would send a clear message that you don’t want to talk to that person at all, not that you want to have normal conversations that both people participate in. This strategy sounds like it would work for an annoying coworker that you have no desire to talk to, but not for a a friend like in the OP’s situation.
I know we’ve had threads about this sort of person before. Based on this one from earlier this year, I suppose the female version of a Maynard is a Marlo.
You need to institute ‘The Hand’.
I know people who get this way, should they partake of herb. They do like them, they are wonderful people, but man, it’s hard to deal with, they really do appear to be unable to help themselves.
Among their little group, they instituted ‘The Hand’, having had a little preherb discussion first. It just needs to be interrupted, is all, really. So, by agreement ‘The Hand’ was just that, it was an innocent though firm, clap of hand onto shoulder. People will very naturally stop talking when you do this unexpectedly. “Just Stop” is the message and it comes through loud and clear.
You just have to sell it to your chatty friend, which you probably know better how to do than any of us.
We had a Maynard at work. The solution the group came up with was that when anyone was getting Maynarded, someone else would phone them. Depending on the situation, the accomplice calls the victim’s work phone, cell phone, or home phone. The victim, of course, has to answer their cell because they’re expecting an important call. For the land line, even if someone else picks up the phone, the accomplice asks for the victim, and they have to go.
[Apu]
I can’t believe you won’t shut up!
[/Apu]
Are you licensed to work in California? I really need some help.
California, eh? I can be paid in weed…
I’m stuck in an office with Maynard’s twin sister ‘Megan’ for 40 hours per week. Every time someone walks in she relaunches what is usually the same verrrry long story she just unleashed on the last 3 unfortunate souls that wandered through. All after having told each of us with the unfortunate luck of having a desk nearby the same story - individually.
I used to deal with this almost exclusively by texting SOS signals to anyone that would listen and sending texts to a particular friend describing in great detail all of the evil things I wanted to do the person responsible for my auditory assault. Most of my solutions included either a ball gag or a pair of socks and a roll of duct tape. I recently discovered I have the ability to record audio clips and send them via text message - so I now cope by spreading the misery 
As someone who has worked on a psych unit, I ran into this problem often (not every overly chatty person is mentally ill, but often people who are manic or have trouble organizing their thoughts are very talkative and oblivious to normal social cues).
Through trial and error, I discovered that the best way to deal with these kinds of people is to STOP BEING SO POLITE.
Don’t be afraid to interrupt them, talk over them, or (if you have to) just walk away. Most of them are so wrapped up in whatever is streaming through their mind that they don’t seem to mind/notice. If they do notice, then it’s an opportunity to tell them why you felt like you had to do it.
I’d probably try to joke with him and hope he got the message, but maybe you could have a word with the wife.
I have a friend that loves to be the asshole…one time a mutual friend’s long winded wife was going on and on about nothing. He looked away from her, lowered his head, then spun around, looked right in her face and said “Three Boobs” and walked away. First time she was ever speechless.
It didn’t work for my mother. She huffs and puffs, but her idea of a conversation is that she dispenses wisdom and the rest of the world listens in enraptured silence, making occasional “go on” and “oh my god that’s amazing” noises.
The only thing that works is turning away. Sometimes she notices and huffs and puffs (and is told “Mom, you were having a monologue, monologues don’t need an audience”); sometimes she glibly goes on. One of the things she does is go over the same story (which we didn’t care about the first time) several times during the same monologue: she’s already accepted that while she has the right to do that, we have the right to ignore the repeats.
I had a teacher who would fail to notice the end of the class was nearing and he needed to wind down; he would also sometimes go into philosophical (and multi-lingual) heights in the most mundane of conversations. He asked us to give him a “T for time-out” sign for classes, which we would also use when he started getting way over our heads - but, unlike my mother, he was aware that not everybody is fluent in Athic Greek and that class periods come with an end (unlike Mom’s lunches).
I tend to find people like this are very thick skinned and don’t notice people being even quite rude to them about them trying to dominate every conversation.
I think the only solution is to avoid them. I don’t think they can be fixed.
I am a wuss. I just listen to them. I even manage to look interested and laugh in the right places.
The most effective method for me is to wait for the tiniest of pauses and then immediately interject with a related question directed to another person in the group. Of course, if it’s just the two of us, that won’t work. Then I use the pause to excuse myself and go to the bathroom.
I have used “The Hand,” but my hand is like a traffic policeman’s “STOP” sign. Hold it up, palm toward Maynard. “STOP!”
“It’s my turn to talk now.”
That has actually brought the confirmation from several people that they know they have a problem shutting up and they appreciate the help letting them know when they’ve been going on too long. YMMV (Your Maynard May Vary).
I sit by a female Maynard at work, but I do actually like her. I’ve timed the verbal barrages, and came to the realization that out of eight hours we spend together, she only talks for about one (when all daily incidents are added together). I can give her that, though it seems longer sometimes. Also I can go right on working through most of it (“mmm-hmm……yeah……uh-huh….”).
[QUOTE=Athena]
Maynard is the nicest guy you can imagine, always quick to help if you need anything, has some interesting hobbies, and is a bright guy.
[/QUOTE]
Avoid men with interesting hobbies. Their hobbies are always much more interesting than they are.
This! I actually live with Maynard who almost constantly partakes. Plus he has some kind of mild OCD (or something). Basically, he must say everything that comes to mind. So I talk for 5 seconds and that makes him think of something, which makes him think of something else, then something else etc. Everything must be said. Then eventually he realizes he’s gone off-topic and goes back to the original topic (which he has normally forgotten). He also seems to be terrified that anyone might misunderstand anything he says, so he tries to explain himself so perfectly that there can be no room for misunderstanding. The problem is, you already got his point after the first 10 seconds, then after listening to him talk about if for another 2 minutes it’s become confusing and you end up misunderstanding anyway.