Any legitimate way to increase the quantity of ejaculate?

As in subject…

Thanks.

drink lots of water, or juice.
hydration is key.

Don’t ejaculate for a few (2-3) days. Next one should be a gusher.

As opposed to illegitimate?

Hold off on orgasming, as you repeatedly approach climax.

Your body prepares the ejaculate, you do not release. Two things happen.

  1. You get so-called “blue balls”.

  2. Your next ejaculation will be fairly substantial, next to your normal volume. YMMV ( or, YFRMV )… :wink:

Cartooniverse

why, are you planning on starring in a porno any time soon? Or do you just want to impress a special lady-friend?

How would the amount of ejaculate be impressive in any sexual way? I just can’t see how a girl would be turned on by that…

Ah, springtime, when a young man’s fancy turns to bucketfulls of jizz.

To increase ejaculate amount - as above.

To increase sperm count (if, for instance, you are attempting to donate sperm for $$, or impregnate someone specific) wear looser shorts (boxers, not briefs) and avoid riding your bike excessively.

On the other hand. . . (rimshot!) . . . in the northern hemisphere it is the time when pizzles retreat in anticipation of the cold weather. Soon women’s titties diappear for the winter which causes men’s minds to forget about sex. In about six months it wil be spring again, women put on their titties again and the eternal cycle is renewed.

As for increasing the quantity of ejaculate, the answer is easy: assign more men to the task.

I suspect he just wants to impress himself.

Factually, the only acknowledged answer is water, plenty of it, like 8-10 glasses a day.

Anecdotally, I’ve heard people talk about wheat germ, but haven’t tried it. Other folk myths mention rocky mountain oysters, raw sea oysters, bee pollen, etc…

If you’re gastronomically adventurous, you could try those things and report back to us.

If you really want a special effect, and I mean as in the Wicked Pictures FX department, you could get a Foley catheter and use that to fill your bladder with milk or something… then at the right moment release… tada! Top that, Peter North!

However, bladders are not used to foreign objects and contents, so you run a risk of a wicked bladder infection, too.

I believe the correct recipe is a syringe filled with a mixture of yoghurt (plain!) and water. The bigger the syringe the bigger the… erm… money shot.

Otherwise, you can reverse engineer a retro-virus and backwards alter your DNA (AND?) and give yourself a more active prostate.

I don’t think this would be effective. The increase in the ejacualate would be due to a higher volume of fluid (from the prostate?), still containing the same x million sperm cells. They’d just be more diluted, and I don’t see that as more effective in impregnating someone.

**

As far as I know, sperm banks pay a fixed price per donation. Never heard of them measuring it and paying by volume!

So… when dad walked in on his 12 year old son,
going at self pleasure … he said, sternly…
“Son, you are far too young for this. You need to save that for when you’re 18!”

So… on the kid’s 18[sup]th[/sup] birthday, he brought dad into his room, pointed at the two 50 gallon steel barrels in his closet and said, “So, Dad, Now what am I supposed to do with it?”
(ba dum Dum! )

Would y’all believe I’m listening to ‘10cc’ right now?

Don’t worry if you don’t get it. Someone else will.

Yeah, but where will she get it? :wink:
>> a mixture of yoghurt (plain!) and water

I prefer vanilla.

Come now, Peter North does not underhandedly produce his work… does he?

Very simple, do it twice. :slight_smile:

At least it’s not Metallica’s Load.

I’ve seen him. He, like all professionals, does it overhand.