Don’t forget porno skank, to “express herself as a woman.”
According to JR, Brock Lesnar was opposed to the idea of his being the one to end the Streak.
If true, then that’s certainly a much more charitable attitude than I would ever have attributed to Brock, and good on him for being a company man and going along with an angle he didn’t like.
Personally, though, I’m with Mick Foley on this one - Brock was the only person who could have credibly ended the Streak, and it’s one of the truly unforgettable moments in wrestling history for all the right reasons.
*BAHWHINGGAAAAAHHH
BANNNNHHHH*
Five luchas are to compete for another piece of Aztec artifact, in which I suspect Dario Cuerto will pull a Sauron and do the “Seven rings to rule them all and in the darkness bind them” ritual. Pentagon Jr. is the first to come out and again tries to tangle up with the ring announcer chica. She bails, and he grabs her mike, then announces he doesn’t want a jewel, he wants another sacrifice for his mysterious master, and calls out the one who stole his last offering: Vampiro!
Vamp and Pent have a stare down of sorts, and Pent eventually departs through the fog, leaving Vamp to fume. Normally, I’m not crazy about seeing the retired return to the ring, but in this case, I’d love to see Vampiro take on Pentagon Jr. Vamp loves this business, and he’s not trying to recapture his old glory like Hogan or somebody.
So, the other four: Cage, Mack, Aerostar and Marty the Moth compete for the jewel. Mack is amazing. He looks pudgy and fat, but he’s surprisingly agile and can pull off the flipadips and loopdeloops. I like Cage more and more every time I see him. He can be a brutal gorilla or a graceful fawn. Marty the Moth is comic relief, but he’s really good. Even though Aerostar won, the other three showed him up, imho.
Next, Super Fly returns to take on Sexy Star. Prior to the match, Vampiro has a sit-down interview with Fly, who wears earrings and looks like a consummate douchebag. He just needs a wifebeater shirt and he’ll be complete. He wants revenge on SS for stealing his mask. They have a match, and Sexy once again shows she can take the abuse. If this chick could speak English, she’d make the WWE Divas pee in their panties. Fly commits enough domestic violence to fill every battered woman’s shelter in California and wins the match.
In a backstage vignette, Son of Havoc and Ivellisse are sparring while Angelico does handstand pushups. Catrina walks in and out-bitches Ivie, and it looks like we’re about to have a lesbian liplock, when she summons the Disciples of Death out of thin air and they ambush the Trios champs. Cat then smiles over their prone forms and leaves with Mil Muertes.
The final match is Mil Muertes vs Drago. Again, it’s unreal how fleshy and motile Drago’s mask looks, like it’s a living organism. Muertes draws power from the Aztec symbol in the ring and no-sells some of Drago’s attacks, which works for him because he just looks so badass. Drago loses, but at least he doesn’t get killed like Fenix did the times he took on Muertes. Prince Puma and Konnan emerge and have a staredown with the Master and Mistress of Death as the show closes.
*BAHWHINGGAAAAAHHH
BANNNNHHHH*
Very classy opening to NXT with HHH fronting the roster on stage and getting choked up talking about Dusty. Best tribute of all the WWE shows.
NXT continues to make Finn more lovable. They show pics of his bromance with Matt Bloom and a video of him inviting Sami Zayn over to play with Legos. Becky Lynch again almost chokes up when talking about how wonderful he is.
Kevin Owens in the meantime shows how he pwns both NXT and the main roster. He comes out to berate Hideo Atami during his promo, gets hung up when trying to pronounce “delusional,” and recovers like a champ when he says “I sounded just like Hideo when he tries to speak English.”
I think when KO and Finn meet in Tokyo, it will be a half hour match at least and Finn will blade big time. KO is such a consummate jerk and Finn is a cool babyface who doesn’t try to get all master thespian in his promos. I’m tempted to see if I can watch the match on my new phone while driving on July 4th.
The match is happening live at like 5 something in the morning, what are you doing driving that early!?!
MATCHES:
Jersey Boys vs JJ and Sawyer someone (I think): I enjoy how much Enzo and Cass have been winning lately. They win when it’s not against the SuperHappys, but lose to them and Alexa. I am going to try really hard to watch their wrestling skills the next time they’re on to see how ready they are. Their promos are always so good (and themed!) that I want to say “call them up!”, but I don’t pay enough attention to their technical skills enough.
Dana Brooke vs The new Australian girl: Ughhhhh. Guys, I reeeeaaalllyy hate Dana Brooke. She’s ugly, her little dance move/sexy body whatever she does is ugly and stupid, she’s really not much more built than Charlotte (and definitely shorter), her voice is just godawful…everything about her sucks. And they’re pushing her sooo hard. I’ll still always think of her as the stripper bitch who tagged with Sasha that one time. Plus, her finisher is the AA and that bugs me for no good reason.
The Hype Bros vs Angelo Dawkins and…wait…was this Sawyer? I’m trying to learn the new guys’ names…really I am. The Hype Bros. is a hilarious name for these two, and super perfect. Has Mojo gotten flabbier in his time off? I want to say he looked more jacked in the past, and ho-ly shit has Angelo fattened up since I saw him last October. The match was fine. I think this is the first time Zach Ryder has won twice in a row on TV in…ever?
Finn vs Rhyno: Always a good match between these two. Rhyno channeling his inner Bret Hart, and Finn going half-demon with his bandana. Nothing too insane happened in the ring. They fought, KO interfered, Samoa Joe saved the day, usual stuff.
PROMOS AND STUFF
The hipster part of me still wants to reject KO because all the wrestling smarks lose their shit over him like he’s the “savior of all wrestling”, but I am really impressed with his mic skills. Not just last night’s save, but when he goes toe-to-toe (tongue-to-tongue? oh…wait…ew) with Cena, and when he’s on commentary. I think his wrestling is just average and normal, but he’s sure good on the mic
Hideo’s promo was weird. It was almost as if they put him out there to remind us that he’s still alive. Or just to bridge the Japanese gap or something. I guess it furthered the KO/Finn story, but to me it was a bit pointless.
“Bull is fat lol” is his new storyline? Who’s his rival going to be? A personal trainer? Is he going to be in a mixed tag? Billy Gunn, Road Dogg, and some female trainer vs. Bull, Ronald McDonald, and Wendy?"
The “Who is Finn Balor” series continues to be awesome. This part just made him seem like the shy introvert kid who’d just prefer to spend time by himself than go out to the party. The Lego bit was awesome. He’s just a big kid who wears Adventure Time shirts, builds Lego sets, and shyly talks with his friend…love it. This also totally means he’s winning next weekend right!!!
Tomorrow is Ms. Cups and I’s second house show! We’re heading to the Cocoa Beach area to see who we can see. Full report will come Saturday.
In case you missed SD last night:
Jimmy Uso is taking Byron Saxton’s place over the summer. He calls everybody “Oos.” Eventually Tom started doing it and so did Jerry.
Oos Ziggler lost to Sheamoos. Oosev came out and tried to win Lanoos back again, but she wouldn’t talk at him. Summer Oos likes him though. She made pretty talk at him.
Big Oos beat on Oosback for 15 minutes before his match with Ooskane. Oos still didn’t win the match because Oos jumped in the ring and disqualified Oos.
Oos Dallas teamed with the Oos Day to take on the Oosa Dragons and the Prime Time Oosers. Callistoos pinned Xavier Oos for the win.
Oosie and Oos Bella came out with Alicia Oos to take on da Jimmy wife Naomoos. Tamina Oosa was with de wife, but Bellas cheated and wife lost anyway. Wife gonna talk mad at Oos tonight.
Oos Rollins has Oosey Mercury and oosKane back because he said he was sorry and talked good at them. Oosie Noble is in the hospital because BroooOOOS Lesnar broke his ribs. Dean Ambroos took on Oos and lost again. Roman Ooses didn’t help him because Ooskane kicked him outta building.
Correction: Ooshow.
I’ve got a confirmation that I’m seeing the vadevillians, charlotte, solomon crowe, and Bayley (!!!) will be there in some capacity (fingers crossed shes signing autographs beforehand and I can get a picture with her)
Interesting to see Alicia Fox (Alicia Oos) again. I keep wondering why she hasn’t had a bigger push. She seems to be very athletic and great entertainer too. At some point in the past I got the idea she was somewhat of a badass among the women wrestlers, not sure why, maybe someone knows if she has that reputation. But she’s been around for a while now while Naomi is much newer and been given a much bigger push. I understand Paige getting push with all her skills and experience, but I’m still baffled why the Bella’s are getting so much exposure (save for their SOs).
And what’s up with Brock? Is this the start of a face turn for him? That seems unlikely, it’s probably another excuse for him not being on the show, but it’s getting silly. Why the hell should we care about his run in with Oollins when he comes back next time? This is not a story line, it’s a story dotted line.
Alicia works pretty stiff, IIRC, so there’s that. She was great for like two weeks last year when she turned heel and was a bit sadistic-crazy, but they quickly put her back through the Diva-mogenizer and stuck her in a heel-face revolving door.
Sigh.
And yes, they are trying to position Brock as a bog standard wwe face, which he doesn’t need to be. He gets face pops when he’s fighting heels, and because he is a fucking unstoppable beast. Point him at Dean and he’lol probably get booed. Simples.
Well, the big Tokyo show is coming up this week - Friday night/Saturday morning, 5:30 Eastern/2:30 Pacific. I tend to miss the regular PPVs because I work graveyard shift and I’m asleep when they’re on. This one is actually airing live at a time when I’ll be awake - but I’m still going to miss the live broadcast, because I’ll be at work and I deliberately chose not to ask for the day off. (I get massive overtime pay for working the 4th of July, and as Kevin Owens would say, I fight for a prize.)
It’s actually rather odd how they’re booking this show. This is the first time WWE has ever televised a show from Japan, let alone a live show, and one of the few times they’ve ever done a major event outside North America. In spite of that, they’re more or less booking it like a typical house show - very few of the matches have gotten any build on TV, and are mostly just random face vs. heel matches where we can expect that the face will go over and nothing of consequence will occur.
Still, it is a live televised event for which a full card has been announced, and so I feel obligated to do a special Beast In the East edition of Smapti’s Completely Accurate Match Predictions*;
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Kevin Owens vs. Finn Balor for the NXT title. This match, IMO, is pretty much the only reason this show is being televised. I think we pretty much all know exactly what to expect from this match, and it is going to be awesome. Finn will enter in his demon paint. He and Owens will have a technically amazing match. Finn will win clean in the middle of the ring, and the Tokyo crowd will go completely insane. With Owens having a US title shot at Battleground that I expect him to win, and his status on the main roster being pretty much cemented at this point, he needs to drop the NXT title - and I can’t think of a single better way for him to do it than in Tokyo in front of a crowd that absolutely adores Fergal Devitt.
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Triple threat for the Divas title; Nikki Bella vs. Paige & Naomi. Nikki only has to hold onto the belt for another 78 days before she breaks AJ’s record, thereby allowing WWE to erase her name from history and never ever have to mention her again as punishment for her husband walking out on the company. Nikki wins. There’s a chance they let the Divas actually show off what they’ve got at this show, since the Japanese fans are accustomed to a more aggressive style of women’s wrestling than what WWE tends to put on, so it’s possible this might actually be a good match.
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Brock Lesnar vs. Kofi Kingston. LOLWUT. I don’t even. This is Brock’s first match since losing the title at WrestleMania and his first match in Japan in nearly a decade. Brock is a legend in Japan even regardless of his WWE/UFC history, as he held the IWGP (New Japan) world championship for a good time in the mid-2000s. The crowd is going to go nearly as nuts for him as they will for Finn. Why they’re putting him against a midcard jobber, I have no idea. The only logical outcome of this match is BRAWK SMASH and then Kofi is never seen or heard from again.
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Chris Jericho vs. Neville. Jericho has been doing house shows exclusively for the last few years; the only reason this match is getting televised is because he was booked for it before they decided to air it. He was originally going to be fighting Finn before they decided to put him in a title match instead, and he’s ended up with Neville instead. This match promises to be a ring classic; Jericho is one of the few gaijin who got over big with the Japanese crowds in the '90s, and they’re sure to mark for his return. In the end, I give this one to Neville - Jericho is the best in the world at what he does, and what he does these days is put over the young guys.
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The New Day vs. the Lucha Dragons. This is a prime example of what I meant when I said this show is still being booked like a house show - this match is of no consequence, there’s no real reason for these teams to be fighting, but here we are. Lucha Dragons get the win here, because faces always win house show matches unless the heel is defending a title, and thanks to the Prime Time Players that’s not an issue.
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John Cena & Dolph Ziggler vs. Kane & King Bad News Wade Barrett. CENAWINSLOL. Another house show type match. Cena & Ziggler tagging up at least makes sense from a storyline perspective since they were on the same team back at Survivor Series, but Kane & Barrett is just plain arbitrary. I don’t know where Japanese fans fall on the “Let’s go Cena!” vs. “Cena sucks!” end of things, but I don’t think I’m going out on a limb when I predict Cena gets the pinfall victory here.
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Cesaro vs. Diego. Originally this was going to be the Cesaro Kidds vs. Los Matadores, but with Tyson in a neck brace they’ve changed it to a singles match. This is another house show type match that will be good for warming the crowd up and not much else. This one could go either way, since both of these guys are nominally faces right now, but I’m going to predict Cesaro wins, either clean or by DQ after a run-in by El Torito which ends in Cesaro giving Torito a 100-rotation giant swing. (See if you recognize the two guys on the apron in that match.)
Overall, I’m looking forward to this show. It’s likely that we’re going to see more straight wrestling and few if any shenanigans, and Owens/Finn, which is probably going to be the main event, is likely to be a barn-burner.
*これは、ブロック·レスナーです！私たちは逃げる必要があります！
TNA seems to be losing a lot of talent lately. Rats deserting a sinking ship perhaps?
Samoa Joe left, then Low Ki, and Magnus and James Storm are soon to depart. Magnus is supposed to sign up with GFW. Low Ki could float back to the Indies. Storm’s spent about all his career with TNA, but he could probably hook up with Luke Harper in WWE since Erick Rowan’s out for 4-6 months. Storm makes for a good apocalyptic redneck survivalist.
TNA’s regarded as the home for washed up WWE stars though, so WWE probably doesn’t want to mirror that. Maybe Joe can put in a good word for Storm? WWE’s got some openings in the main roster from numerous injuries, so maybe there’s room for Storm if they don’t raid NXT too badly.
I blinked and Awesome Kong, Taryn Terrell, Mickie James, and Austin Aires are gone too. Sam Shaw and Gunner were let go on top of that. TNA’s going to have to drop the “non” and be Totally Stopped Action.
I believe it’s largely a matter of how TNA’s model has been changing–they just taped something like 6 weeks of TV in a couple days, and have a couple of days in July that will finish up their taping through September. And that’s it, no house shows, PPVs, etc.
It doesn’t make sense for either TNA or the wrestlers to be signed to exclusive contracts in that case. Doesn’t mean that none of them will show up to the July tapings (barring the spoiler’s I’ve read from this weeks…), just that they’re now negotiating on a date-by-date basis.
I’ve had a full weekend, so I never ran down the NXT house show I saw, which blew last year’s show out of the water
Right off the bat we had a helluva match because Uhaa Nation faced some scary German guy. I had never seen Uhaa before, much less up close, and holy crap is he huge. German dude worked his knee but Uhaa ended up with the win
Match two was interesting because it was Charlotte and Devin vs Cassie and Lina. Yes, that Devin. She came to the ring with a purse and a Cosmo. Cassie and Lina are two newbies. One is one of the new Australian girls they got, the other is a HUGE Samoan girl. Looks more like Kharma than Tamina. It was actually Devin in the ring most of the time getting a huge beatdown by the two girls, eventually Charlotte got the hot tag and the win. I was actually impressed with Devin’s wrestling skills, although she was smiling and having a BIT too much fun to sell well
Next had a promo by Sylvester Lafore. He is a manager now and honestly looks like the villian from the Taken movies. I also swear he had painted on abs.
Mike Rawlins, who is a long haired, good looking, almost Christiano Renaldo looking kid, vsBull! Bull!. This match was hilarious. They continued the out of shape Bull storyline by having him get winded while running away, and also the two guys ran the ropes and Bull about died. It was hilarious
Sasha Banks then came out to give a promo about her being the champ, better than everyone in the back, and better than all of us. She then offered an open challenge for anyone to come. So who came? Was it Bayley? No. Was it the horribe “total diva” Dana Brookes? No. Who was it? DA DA DA DAAAAAA DA DA DADAAAAAA BLUE PANTS! Blue Pants comes out and wrestles the champ. A good match as always, but Sasha wins.
Then it was intermission. I had a root beer and Ms. Cups had a Sprite.
First match after intermission was a doozy. Hype Bros (Ryder included) vs Bushwacker wannabees. It was hard for me to get names, but these guys have been on TV once. The match was awesome and hilarious because of Mojo dancing. When it’s hammer time and he does that dance I just lost it. They ended up with the win too
Angelo Dawkins vs Marcus Louis. What the hell are they doing with Marcus? His new character is some mix of quasimodo and Chunk from the Goonies. He just goes argh! a lot. It was a boring match because no one cared, it was also surprisingly long. Marcus wins.
Now it was a promo from another new guy from Venezuela. He talked (and danced) until he was interrupted by a guy who called himself Preston Cunningham Jr. His character was a super rich yacht kid. They bantered, the Venezeula guy chased him from the ring, they danced, it was whatever.
Solomon Crowe then comes out and then the lights go out, we hear a heartbeat, Ms. Cups DIES, and Finn Balor comes out! She was seriously in heaven for those 10 minutes. Finn wins after Crowe did another focus on his knee. Some steampunk dressed ugly girl kept yelling “Let’s go Crowe!” and no one participated and it was soooo annoying I wanted to punch her in her stupid goggled face.
Now for our main event. Finn wasn’t already it?!?! Nope. Triple Threat tag! SuperHappys vs Vaudevillians vs Jason Jordan and BAGELS!. This was a good match that was a lot of fun. Some really great spots, a lot of funny banter (One of the fans yelled “Where is Alexa?!?” and Simon Gotch looked at him and said “I’m wondering that too!”, also one of the Superhappys was being thrown around by JJ and yelled “ah Jesus!”). I was really quite impressed with JJ actually, he’s looking better and better. I also got an IU chant going by myself for a bit and JJ was happy. Bagels was perfect as always. Surprisingly Vaudevillians got the win clean over the Superhappys.
It was an awesome show, a lot of fun, and we’re doing it again in two weeks!
I’m amazed that TNA has survived. I figure former WWE stars who are financially set can keep doing it, and maybe it’s a decent training ground, but it seems to have been on a downhill trajectory from the beginning. It’s too bad about that, WWE needs competition.
My guess is that DA is seeing the writing on the wall as far as TNA is concerned and is grooming Ring of Honor to have their own prime time show once TNA discorporates. Maybe then WWE will get some real competition, but it’ll be a long time till it matches WCW levels.
Is this the scary German guy you saw STC? Did Finn use his low-budget entrance, or did he do the alien spider thing? When’s the next Full Sail taping?
Note the second entry from the bottom.
Yup that was him! Know him?
Also he did he low budget entrance, had the bandanna on but that was it
No, I was just working my Google fu.
That Seth Rollins ban is so random. I wonder if WWE’s going to incorporate it into RAW tonight? Have him show up to the festival with J & J & Kane, expect to be given VIP treatment, then have a hissyfit when somebody points out that line on the sign.