While I would never bet against TNA signing an ex-WWE guy, it seems to be the OMEGA show at the moment, not sure where he would fit.
I have a hard time seeing him in ROH, either.
“Mil Muertes! I have some Bad News!” Eh, probably not, but it might be fun.
NJPW seems to have a few vacancies.
So, a few days ago, one of the wrestling news sites reported that Bull Dempsey was putting some of his used singlets on ebay. As a lark, I placed the minimum bid on the one he wore to Takeover London and then forgot about it, assuming I’d be outbid shortly.
Turns out nobody else bid on it. I am now out $200 and the (proud?) owner of a C-list celebrity’s used athletic gear.
Pretty solid episode of Lucha Underground tonight.
We get a pretty big infodump from Rey about the origins of the Temple; somewhere around 1990, Dario Cueto’s father came to Mexico and met El Dragon Azteca, and together they came up with the idea of reuniting the descendants of the Seven Aztec Tribes and having them fight in a modern-day style. Cueto Sr., however, became more interested in the darker aspects of Aztec religion, and made a black magic pact with the gods, allowing his son to be possessed by a demon in the process (thus the origin of Matanza). He and Azteca parted ways after that, and the demonic pact he had made is what doomed Azteca to die once he finally entered the Temple, and will doom Azteca Jr. too, which is why he instead needs to unite the Seven Tribes under his leadership if he’s going to get his vengeance.
(On a side note; Rey is wearing an older version of his mask with a crown on the forehead, rather than the version with the cross on the forehead that he’s worn for many years now. I assume that’s a booking decision, since Rey’s being super-Christian in real life doesn’t really play into the whole storyline of Aztec gods and black magic.)
Solid trios match to open the show. The main event was also a great match, and the ending was one of the cleverest I’ve ever seen - it took me a second or to to figure out what had just happened.
Highlight of the show, though, hands down? Joey Ryan. I’ve never actually seen him work a whole match before, and his performance here was GLORIOUS - it’s like Ron Burgundy and Ron Jeremy had a baby, and that baby somehow grew up to be an LAPD detective assigned to go undercover in the world of underground fighting. Striker and Vampiro being absolutely befuddled by the presence of this hairy-chested, porn-'stached weirdo pouring baby oil down his trunks was just icing on the cake. Much like PJ Black’s debut last week, he ultimately loses to Cage (who’s grown his hair out into a Mohawk after being shaved bald at Triplemania), but it’s a suspenseful match where he comes off looking strong against a guy who’s much bigger than he is. This match was taped before the video of his penis-plex went viral, but I believe he appears in later tapings as well, so hopefully we’ll get to see that move at some point.
Dude, that’s just weird. Don’t tell us how you’re huffing it, please. At least you kept Dempsey from starving. For a day.
In other news, Axl Rotten died from a drug overdose in a McDonald’s restroom. He used the infant changing table as a makeshift lab so you could smell what the Rotten was cooking. I’m surprised he actually lasted this long.
*BAWANNGAAHAWANNNGGGGHHHH
BAAAAAANNNHHH*
Team Dysfunction is back as a team, taking on Chavo Guerrero and the Crew, one of which is the undercover cop investigating Dario Cueto. Ivelisse is one tough bitch. She and Sexy Starr are just as good as the men and take their fair share of the bumps. Son of Havoc just seems to be able to balance goofiness with technical brilliance and win over the audience. Angelico is fucking amazing again, and he doesn’t even have make the 30-foot jump to pop the crowd. He’s like a berzerk spider karate black belt, knocking opponents out of the ring while prepping his aerial assault. How did this team of three different personalities develop such great chemistry?
Rey Rey is proving to be LU’s spiritual master, the hispanic Obi Wan Kenobe of mythical combat. He grooms Azteca Jr. to be the uniter of the seven tribes, while he himself stands as the paragon of good. I remember last season Cueto said Matanza was his brother, but Rey Rey is saying Matanza is actually his son, the result of a black deal gone wrong. Even though it’s a storyline snafu, it makes sense, because what father would want to admit he doomed his own flesh and blood?
No Penis Plex for Joey Ryan, but he makes a huge (hehe) impression nonetheless. A backstage segment shows him berating his partner for losing, saying they have to convince the Temple they’re actual luchadors. He then enters the ring and molests himself with baby oil. I expected some jobber to come out, but it’s the Machine, Cage! Cage gets off his power moves, but Ryan shows he knows the bizness and proves to be a worthy competitor. He’s got the cocky heel tactic down smooth. After Cage wins, Johnny Mundo tries a sneak attack, but Cage counters him. He looks like he’s about to pull Johnny apart, like the scene of Hercules pulling down the marble columns he’s tied to. Yow. What was WWE thinking when they passed this guy up?
Mundo has some promos where he talks about how awesome he is. There’s a clip of him gloating after he defeated Alberto El Patron at Ultima Lucha, saying “Alberto El Patron will never be back in Lucha Underground again!” I wonder if they knew back then he was returning to WWE?
Prince Puma vs Pentagon Jr was a treat, and Puma never ceases to amaze. In addition to being so acrobatic, he’s also a lot stronger than he looks. PJ looks to be about 250 lbs and PP did a Goldberg move on him, lifting him up from the ground to over his head. I wish they had replayed the finish. I totally missed PJ’s shoulders being down when PP bridged out. PP teased breaking PJ’s arm afterwards, but showed himself to be the better man and let him go. For never speaking on the mike, PP sure knows how to project his personality.
Post show, Sexy Starr is shown struggling backstage. Mack finds her and asks who did this to her. She gasps “Moth!” Mack says “Where is he? I’ll kill him!” SS says “No! Her!” and points behind him. Mack turns to look, and the camera freezes on his expression of fear. I thought Marty the Moth was going to be LU’s comedy jobber, but he’s actually turning out to be a major force for evil.
*BAWANNGAAHAWANNNGGGGHHHH
BAAAAAANNNHHH*
He was talking about Dario’s father in that bit, not Dario himself.
Stone Cold. Damn man, what a jackass.
Attacks the idea that the Titus O’Niell suspension was racist, uses “shucking and jiving” in the statement.
:smack:
You know, Roman Reigns going over at Fastlane is such an obvious booking choice that I hope they don’t do it. I hope they put over Ambrose. Check out WhatCulture Wrestling’s “How WWE Should Book WrestleMania 32” for what I agree would be an ideal scenario: Roman goes heel at Fastlane, ends up losing his match to Ambrose… Roman retires 'Taker at WrestleMania to get nuclear heat, while Ambrose defeats Triple H for the belt.
Reigns/Triple H would just be so BORING!
Anybody for Fastlane predictions?
Kalisto vs ADR 2/3 falls - ADR wins the first, Kallisto sells being nearly crippled and wins the 2nd match, and takes the 3rd as well. Olé! Los Matadors fade further into obscurity.
AJ Styles vs. Chris Jericho - AJ wins as WWE continues to deny that his indie years mean anything
Ryback, Big Show and Kane vs. The Wyatt Family - Wyatts lose by DQ
Charlotte (with Ric Flair) vs. Brie Bella - Brie’s supposed to retire soon to make babies with DBD, but will WWE give her the butterfly belt as a reward for services rendered? Charlotte could always win it back on RAW. I’ll go with that.
Becky Lynch and Sasha Banks vs. Naomi and Tamina - Becky & Sasha lose because of an inadvertent slug by Becky on Sasha or something to make them cat-fight each other, match made for eventual RAW where winner takes on Charlotte at WM 32.
Kevin Owens vs. Dolph Ziggler - Zig kills himself, does the job, KO gloats
Dean Ambrose vs. Roman Reigns vs. Brock Lesnar - Ambrose pins Reigns ftw! That’s right, I’m picking Ambrose, bitches!
Looks like Gallows and Anderson have finally wrapped up with New Japan. Just a few hours ago, they worked an ROH show in Tokyo where Bullet Club lost an eight-man tag match to a joint New Japan-ROH babyface team, and they gave a farewell speech and did a curtain call afterward.
It’s remotely possible that they could get on a flight right away in time to make a surprise appearance at Fastlane tomorrow - it would fit into my fantasy booking of Edge & Christian introducing them as New Day’s next challengers for the tag title. Dunno how likely that is since they don’t have nearly the level of name recognition as AJ Styles, but it’d be pretty cool all the same.
Go to the bottom, watch the full video. Trust me, you’ll be thanking me for this.
Mr. Penis Plex should have used a cock ring like Jack Black?
John Cena tweeted a pic of Paul Newman from “Slapshot” that also serves as CM Punk’s Twitter profile pic.
WWE added CM Punk to its alumni section.
Despite Punk’s recent back surgery, his contract with UFC and his stated desire to never (EVVVVVEEEERRRR) return to WWE, speculation is rampant that Punk will appear at Fastlane. Why are some wrestling fans so stupid?
But if he does return tonight OMG WWE finally listened to me and I will renew my Network subscription tonight because OMG CM PUNK!
Ahem…carry on.
Interesting how nobody can ever really burn their bridges with WWE.
Not really sure what kind of back surgery Punk’s getting. If it’s anything to do with his spine, he won’t be able to do anything physical ever. If he’s getting his ass kicked in training, maybe this “operation” is an out for him. It’s possible he misses the merchandising bucks from the CM Punk ice cream. I wonder how he’s going to spin the voluminous trash talk the UFC fighters will direct his way.
I can really only think of one exception: Jeff Jarrett.
There is nothing I enjoy more in this world than WWE fan conspiracies. They just make the world go 'round
$5 says Vince gives that Vincent J McMahon award to himself.
I broke my monitor, so I tried the Network on my flat screen TV and had feed problems for the first half of the PPV, so I did not enjoy the viewing experience.
Kind of an ehhhh PPV. Had some good spots, like Big Show throwing Luke Harper onto the Wyatts, but the E&C/ND/LoN segment and the R Troof/Axel match were time killers and should have been done in the pre-show, or not at all.
Thank Og for Dean Ambrose. He made the PPV for me. Then the Spear of Doom took all the joy out of my life. Now it’s going to be nothing but RR vs the Authority for the next 2 months.
I watched the first few minutes of E & C and killed it. It reeked of awfulness.
I haven’t paid less attention to a PPV than I did for this one. I was bored from the moment it started until 10:30 when Ms. Cups said “So I’m not even paying attention and I’m about to fall asleep on this couch, so I’m going to go to bed” to which I said “Oh thank God I was thinking the same thing for the last 20 minutes.”
Ended up looking up the results saw that Reigns won and…who cares. Who did he end up pinning?