So Ms. Cups and I had an insanely busy weekend, which means that I watched precisely 10% of wrestling.
She was able to make it through all of Takeover, whereas I slept through the entire thing, and we went to the Pro Bowl last night, so we only watched the Rumble itself. Super surprised at the ending, thought the match itself was boring and a bit of a letdown.
I’ll have better reviews in the coming days.
It’s called RESEARCH Maggle! If you knew anything about journalism, you’d get it!
That is hilarious! That said, exactly what is he researching, simultaneously perusing Takeover, Rugby, and Women’s Bodybuilding?
Not every lead pans out! Quit looking for black helicopters Maggle!
I think these people were expecting somebody else besides Roman Reigns at #30.
Thanks for the link. Will watch later tonight. I’ve heard good things about the Women’s Division for about the last year or so.
Watching “Raw” via PVR tonight for the first time in years, and am very confused; but glad to see two of my all-time faves (Foley and Jericho) are still on TV.
:eek:
*LOL!
Jericho is a damn case-study on a how to have a career renaissance. His last 6 months to a year have been the best in his entire career!
What part of RAW are you confused about? Maybe we can help…
ETA: Also, btw, sorry about automatically assuming you were a guy earlier! I think I just made the list!
OK, to help sms catch up, here are the primary players as we know them.
RAW
Mick Foley - GM, has pone ear
Stephanie McMahon, evil daughter of Vince, wife of HHH
Enzo & Cass - Enzo is a crazy Italian with weird hair and leopard spots, talks a lot. Cass is his giant best friend who always comes to his rescue.
Rusev & Lana - They were Russian for a while, now feud with Enzo & Cass
Kevin Owens - Jericho’s new best friend, current champ, best smack talker in the business
Roman Reigns - Vince’s current favorite, got pushed as a singles star way too soon, smarks hate him but girls love him
Seth Rollins - Roman’s former teammate in SHIELD, betrayed him and Ambrose and sold out to HHH, used to be top heel but was out for a few months due to injury, found himself no longer HHH’s boy, now they feud
Braun Stroman - used to be a competitive strongman, has only been a wrestler for a couple of years but actually doing pretty good, now top monster heel
Gallows & Anderson - used to be big in Japan, part of the infamous Bullet Club, now RAW tag team champs
Cesaro & Sheamus - Cesaro’s immensely talented but frequently booked to lose because he’s not a bankable personality. Sheamus used to be his worst enemy, but Foley paired them up because reasons. They were tag champs for a few months before G & A.
The New Day - Broke the record for having the tag belts the longest, goof around a lot, kids love them
Finn Balor - ultra cool dude, due back any day from injury, wears demon paint
Sami Zayn - best worker in the business, gets beat up a lot
Charlotte - Ric Flair’s daughter, current RAW women’s champ, top woman heel
Bayley - Everybody loves her, alternates with Sasha Banks as top woman babyface
Sasha Banks - Snoop Dogg’s cousin, used to be women’s champ, wears bling
Nia Jax - Female monster heel, not like most girls
Breezango, Golden Truth - jobber tag teams
Smackdown
Daniel Bryan - former world champ, had to retire due to injury, now GM
Shame McMahon - Vince’s “good” child, sometimes wrestles and takes insane bumps
AJ Styles - was big in Indies and Japan, top heel, lost SD belt to John Cena this past weekend
John Cena - Like Roman Reigns, smarks hate him, kids love him
Randy Orton - son of Cowboy Bob Orton, been champ numerous times, now in angle with Wyatt family, just won Royal Rumble so will probably feud with Cena (again)
Bray Wyatt - cult leader, gets in random feuds
Luke Harper - Walking Dead, currently at odds with Randy over being Bray’s number one
Dean Ambrose - former SHIELD member with Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns, rebel/anarchist/bad boy, current Intercontinental champ
The Miz - former reality TV star, makes DVD movies, gimmick is that he’s a Hollywood celebrity, best heel in the business, married to Maryce
Mojo Rawley - former NFL player, now really hype
Zack Ryder - currently out for a while due to injury, broski
American Alpha - SD tag champs, awesome team
The Usos - twin sons of Rikishi, frequent tag champs, related to Roman Reigns but don’t hold that against them
Dolph Ziggler - best worker in the business, loses a lot
Baron Corbin - lone wolf, biker gimmick, hates everybody
Becky Lynch - former SD women’s champ, wild & crazy, orange hair, everybody loves her
Alexa Bliss - bitch goddess, SD women’s champ
Natalya - Jim Neidhart’s daughter, crazy cat lady
Nikki Bella - twin sister of Bree, has own reality show, dates John Cena, DB’s sister-in-law
Naomi - used to be partners with Cameron, now neon rave dancer chick
Mickie James - used to be Diva’s champ, left to work in TNA for a few years, now feuds with Becky
Ascension, Vaudevillains - jobber tag teams
Cruiserweights - 205 lbs and under, have own show in Network, work couple matches in RAW
Neville - new CW champ, complete badass
Rich Swann - cool dude, Neville’s enemy
TJ Perkins - former champ, living 2D video star
The Brian Kendrick - former champ, snaky heel
Noam Dar - Scottish guy, in abusive relationship with Alicia Fuuuuucks
Cedrick Alexander - Alicia’s former bf, amazing worker
Jack Gallager - pronounced Galla-Her. Pasty english guy, carries an umbrella, very very entertaining gentleman.
Slight nitpick:
Rusev was never billed as Russian, he was always billed as a Bulgarian (which I’ve been told he is in real life), who was a Russian sympathizer… because of reasons (I’m guessing that those “reasons” are attached to Lana in some way, shape or form). I think that the lines may have been blurred for a while, because the commenters are lazy, but TTBOMR, they never actually called Rusev Russian.
Lana, on the other hand, was billed as “The Ravishing Russian” for a while. They’ve been deemphasizing that, since Lana and Rusev both appear on their kayfabe-breaking reality show Total Divas, but she still inexplicably slips in and out of her accent during promos.
Left out: Rusev and Lana are married IRL.
A slighter nitpick: Total Divas is only, like, 22% kayfabe-breaking
I had it in there, but deleted before posting. I’m not sure why.
Other SD persons
James Ellsworth - brought in as a local jobber, and then Dean Ambrose pushed him and helped him beat AJ Styles a few times. Now paired up with hussy Carmella, who’s only using him and why can’t he see that?
Kallisto - lucha, can climb on ceilings like a fly
Jack Swagger - had an alt-right gimmick for a while, could use it to make a comeback maybe
Heath Slater and Rhyno - used to be SD tag champs - Heath has 9 kids and a double-wide trailer, Rhyno is the straight man who won all their matches
Other RAW personnel
Bo Dallas - had a smug motivational speaker gimmick, now dwells in undercard limbo
Titus O’Neil - tried to join New Day, midcard heel
Darren Young - paired with Bob Backlund for a while, isn’t great yet
Sin Cara - lucha, actually the 2nd or 3rd version, lost track
Shining Stars - used to be the Matadors, now Time Share salesmen, still not over
The Ascension - cheap low budget copy of the Road Warriors. Intentionally humiliated and then knocked down the card by Vince, which makes everyone wonder why the fuck they were called up anyway. Have not been on TV in a while, will likely be released.
The Vaudvillains - old style carny/strongman team also called up from NXT with no real plan and hasn’t been seen on TV for quite some time. Another expected release.
Confused about certain alliances – for example, Jericho and Owens – and how they came about. And there are a lot of folks I’ve just plain never seen before, or at least have never watched at length.
Last time I looked in briefly, Rollins was the titleholder, but I do recall him getting terribly injured. Completely missed him splitting with The Authority/Triple H. Really like his work.
Recall liking Ambrose a lot as well. Don’t hate Reigns as much as most people do, but I understand how his mega-push rubs people the wrong way.
Classy gesture by Owens wearing the armband last night.
Awesome; thanks.
How did Jericho and Owens get together? I don’t exactly remember. I think it started when they were both drafted to RAW. They’re both obnoxious Canadians, so they just naturally flocked together. I remember reading that WWE studios considered making a cop movie starring them, but I don’t think it ever took off.
Since we’re breaking down the roster for the newbie, I may as well go over the big names on NXT’s roster, just in case he decides to check out the Network (and we’ll probably be seeing a lot of these guys on Raw/Smackdown eventually anyway):
William Regal - the commissioner. Retired British legend who got his start as a shoot fighter on the carny circuit. As GM he’s impartial and Jack Tunney-ish. (Backstage he’s also WWE’s head talent scout.)
Nigel McGuinness - the new lead commentator alongside Smackdown’s Tom Phillips. Former ROH champion who had a storied rivalry with Daniel Bryan. Retired due to injuries a few years ago and was ROH’s onscreen authority figure until he recently signed with WWE.
Bobby Roode - the reigning champion, former TNA champion. Has a Ric Flair-ish swaggering playboy gimmick and likes to call himself “glorious”. Nominally a heel but usually gets cheered anyway.
Shinsuke Nakamura - The former champion. Was a main-eventer in New Japan for over 10 years and a multi-time IWGP champion. Nicknamed “the King of Strong Style”. Probably the best overall wrestler in the world today. Super-over. Only been defeated twice since debuting in NXT. Likely to be called up soon.
Austin Aries - Another TNA veteran and was big in the early days of ROH. Heel. Calls himself “The Greatest Man Who Ever Lived”. Currently on the injured roster and doing commentary for the cruiserweight division.
Tye Dillinger - Made his main roster debut in the Royal Rumble but hasn’t been drafted yet. His gimmick is that he’s “the perfect 10”, though he mostly just winds up being a jobber to the stars. Whenever he’s around, expect the crowd to chant “Ten! Ten! Ten!” instead of calling countouts the right way.
The Authors of Pain - the current tag champions. A new-ish team made up of two silent bruisers (Akam and Rezar). Managed by Paul Ellering of Legion of Doom fame.
#DIY - the former tag champions, Johnny Gargano and Tommaso Ciampa. Both are cruiserweights and were top babyfaces in the indies before signing - Gargano in Evolve, and Ciampa in ROH.
The Revival - Also former tag champions, Scott Dawson and Dash Wilder. They work an old-school brawler gimmick and their motto is “No flips, just fists”. Jim Cornette loves them, which should tell you how old-school they are. Likely to be called up soon.
TM61: A babyface tag team of Australians Nick Miller and Shane Thorne. Very successful on the indies as The Mighty Don’t Kneel before being signed. They were finalists in last year’s Dusty Rhodes Classic (NXT’s annual tag team tournament), ultimately losing to the Authors of Pain.
Asuka - the women’s champion for almost a year now. Previously known as Kana in Japan. Undefeated since coming to WWE. She works a psycho babyface gimmick and dresses kind of like a female Ultimate Warrior.
Peyton Royce & Billie Kay - a pair of Australian heels who often work as a tag team or collaborate in multi-women matches. Ambiguously gay.
Ember Moon - A tweener woman with a vaguely werewolf-ish gimmick. Worked on the indies as Athena. Probably being set up to be the next womens’ champ.
Sanity - A heel stable with an Escape From New York-ish feel to it. Lead by Eric Young (another TNA veteran), along with Nicki Cross, Alexander Wolfe, and Sawyer Fulton.
Hideo Itami - Another Japanese veteran formerly known as KENTA. Invented the GTS finishing move later used by CM Punk. Been out with injuries for over a year but expected back very soon.
Roderick Strong - Yet another TNA veteran who jumped ship recently. Former champion there. Babyface.
Kassius Ohno - Was in NXT when it first started, then got released in 2013. Went to ROH where he was known as Chris Hero. Just recently came back and hasn’t made his official re-debut yet.
Tyler Bate - the first-ever WWE United Kingdom Champion. Was crowned in a tournament that aired from Blackpool a few weeks ago. Is only 19 years old but already has years of experience under his belt. The UK division doesn’t have its own show yet, but he’s expected to appear on NXT as well as in British indie shows that may be shown on the Network in the future.
Pete Dunne - The other finalist from the UK tournament. Calls himself “the bruiserweight” and is a right scoundrel in the old World of Sport tradition. Same deal as to where he’ll be seen on TV in the future.
Ariya Daivari - Evil Iranian. Little brother of Shawn Daivari, who was Muhammed Hassan’s manager back in the day. Has been in a rivalry with Jack Gallagher.
And just for completeness’ sake, here’s quick run-down of non-WWE promotions that sms might want to know about or want to know what the hell we’re talking about;
Promotions:
ROH - Ring of Honor. The de facto #2 promotion in the US today and the only non-WWE promotion to run tours on a national scale. They’re a distant #2, granted - they’re running houses of 1,000 or so tops compared to 10,000+ in attendance at your average Raw. More emphasis on in-ring style than on promos or involved storylines. Has talent-sharing relationships with New Japan and CMLL. They have a weekly show that airs in syndication on Sinclair Broadcasting-owned stations and nationwide on Comet, and run PPVs a few times a year.
TNA/Impact Wrestling - Was the #2 promotion a few years ago, but nearly fell apart completely due to a string of bad business/booking decisions, legal struggles, Vince Russo, and the brief intervention of Smashing Pumpkins frontman Billy Corgan. It’s recently been acquired by the TV channel that airs it in Canada, and has done a few things that have caught people’s attention lately, most notably the “Final Deletion” storyline feud between Jeff and Matt Hardy. Uses a six-sided ring most of the time.
AAA - One of the two major Mexican promotions. Uses a six-sided ring most of the time but also uses four-sided rings for certain shows. Tends to be the “edgier” of the Mexican promotions with an emphasis on theatrics, gimmick matches, and hardcore/intergender wrestling. Doesn’t currently air in the US aside from Lucha Underground (more on that later).
CMLL: The other major Mexican promotion. Tends to be more conservative and stricter in regards to keeping kayfabe, and generally runs standard matches with clean finishes. It has a weekly show that airs on cable, but it’s in Spanish.
Lucha Underground: An LA-based promotion co-owned by AAA and by director/screenwriter Robert Rodriguez (From Dusk Til Dawn, Sin City, Machete, etc.) Features a mix of AAA talent and wrestlers from the west coast indie scene. Unlike most promotions, it’s shot in an episodic, arc-based style, in a season-by-season format, much like a telenovela or a show like The Walking Dead, and intersperses the matches with professionally-shot vignettes and themes of magical realism; wrestlers are literally killed off on-screen, there are characters who are presented as being wizards or Aztec gods or dragons in human form.
NJPW: New Japan Pro Wrestling, the dominant promotion in Japan to the point that its once-rivals, AJPW and Pro Wrestling Noah, are now subsidiaries of it in all but name. Like ROH, storylines are generally kept simple and the focus is on in-ring action, with main-event matches often running an hour or more. Has its own streaming service similar to the WWE Network and has recently begun offering English commentary on all its major shows. It often co-promotes US shows alongside ROH, and will be hosting its first-ever NJPW-exclusive shows in the US later this year. (NOTE: In kayfabe, New Japan’s championships are sanctioned by a body called the International Wrestling Grand Prix, so if you ever see a reference to an IWGP championship, it’s referring to New Japan.)
PWG - Pro Wrestling Guerilla. Another LA-based promotion that operates throughout southern California. Its annual tournament, the Battle of Los Angeles, often features the top names of the international indy scene.
GFW - Global Force Wrestling. A promotion created by Jeff Jarrett after he parted ways with TNA in 2014. It largely exists only on paper - they held a few TV tapings which have never been aired and have co-sponsored a couple of houses here and there, but it currently has no dates announced, only one of its four championships is currently being actively defended on the indy circuit, it’s had to vacate its tag title due to the reigning champions signing with WWE, and the last time it got any significant press was when Double-J tried to use its name to sell a cash-for-gold pyramid scheme.
CZW - Combat Zone Wrestling. An east coast company that often works out of the old ECW Arena and focuses on hardcore wrestling much like the original ECW did.
Chikara - Another east coast promotion, which is primarily inspired by lucha libre but tends to go more for comedy than technical wrestling.
(I could probably list another dozen promotions, but those are the biggest ones, such as they are.)
An honorable mention;
Bullet Club. A heel stable that started in New Japan but also performs in ROH, CMLL, across the indies, and (to an extent) WWE. It’s essentially an updated version of the nWo - a bunch of gaijin (it has a few Japanese members now) who don’t care about the traditions of Japanese pro wrestling. (They even use the “two-sweet” gesture and talk about being Bullet Club 4 lyfe.) It started out as the trio of Finn Balor, Luke Gallows, and Karl Anderson, and dozens of people have come and gone since then. AJ Styles became the leader after Balor left for WWE, and when he followed suit, Kenny Omega took his place. Its members currently hold the ROH world championship, the ROH and PWG tag team championships, and the GFW NEX*GEN championship. In WWE, AJ Styles, Gallows, and Anderson are collectively known as “The Club” because New Japan refused to let them use the BC name; Finn has not been involved with the group but a feud is likely once he returns from injury.