I can see how they can make Sexy Star a storyline in LU. She gets called into Dario’s office. He tells her in his smug voice “Well Sexy, I see you have tried to market your talent to other organizations, so you could gain leverage in your contract negotiations with Lucha Underground. Instead, you have been banned from all these other organizations because you were too violent. I have no such moral restrictions here at the Temple. But, that means I am the only promoter willing to employ you. And that means I can send you through hell and damnation before I’ll even consider you worthy of a dark match. You will have to work your way back up from the very bottom. First, there is a certain unoccupied jail cell that will be your new home…”
She will be unemployable for liability issues. And that no one will want to wrestle her.
I don’t know how much I believe Sheik making a promise to Hogan, but I can totally buy him making such a promise to Vince.
Just watched the first round of Mae Young and I don’t remember it being that botchy. Maybe being there covered a lot of sins.
And speaking of sins, Imma bout to make a huge one so feel free to hate me. JR does absolutely nothing for me on commentary. He sounds like he has no idea who the hell these people are (he probably doesn’t) what the hell half the moves are (confusing a german with a shooting-star), and has negative chemestry with Lita. He sounds bored to tears every time he commentates a match. And it’s not just in Mae Young, he’s sounded that way for a few matches since he’s come back.
I’m sure a lot of it has to do with outside factors. His age, his stroke(s) and losing your wife aren’t going to brighten anyone’s day, but he just does absolutely nothing for me.
*BAHWANNNGGAAAAHHHH
BAANNNNHHH*
The show opens in the stygian depths of the Temple dugeon, where Matanza keeps residence in a cell decorated in blood spatter. Dario Cueto pays Matanza a visit and apologizes for locking him up. Dario now realizes Matanza was trying to protect him all along, and he would get to do it again by releasing him against Rey Mysterio, because “he hit me with a 619!”
Son of Madness vs Mascarita Sagrada
Normally when Mascarita works, sparks fly, he defies gravity, and insanity ensues. Not so much here. SoM tends to suck the life out of his matches, and this is really a transition to him vs SoH later in the show. SoM gets the victory, and SoH runs in as Paul London takes Mascarita away to the safety of the Rabbit Hole. Dario emerges and announces that the two Sons will settle their differences in a Boylan Heights Street Fight.
**
Marty the Moth Martinez (w/Mariposa) vs Argenis**
Marty air molests Melissa Santos as she makes introductions. I love this guy. He is so lovingly vile. With Mariposa’s help, he manages to thoroughly ruin Argenis’s day. Argenis gets bladed and now wears two masks: his own, and the Crimson Mask. Marty gets the win, then rips off Argenis’s mask. OH NO HE DI HINT! Fortunately, the referee had a towel handy to cover the real face of Argenis as he retreated to the back. Marty then grabbed the mic and promised Melissa he would do the same to Fenix and show her how ugly he really is. Fenis sneaked up behind him and popped him in the noggin with a superkick, then did the same to Mariposa. Fenix then grabbed the mic and challenged Marty to a Mask vs Hair match. How is that bad for Marty? If he loses, he’ll look even more insane with a shaved head.
Joey Ryan vs Sexy Star
Joey did his usual macheesemo, but since he didn’t represent a rival organization talent exchange in her territory, Sexy didn’t try to pull his arm out of the socket. Taya runs out with a GO SEXY STAR (BUT DON’T PULL OUT HIS ARM) sign, ostensibly to mock the marks who pull for Sexy. This distracts Sexy enough for Joey to get the win. He then tries to put his CROTCH LOLLIPOP is Sexy’s mouth, but Cortez Castro runs in with a kendo stick, so Sexy doesn’t have to rip out Joey’s arm.
Later, Cortez is in Dario’s office. “Yes, I knew you and Joey were cops along,” says Dario as he picks up his red bull statue, recalling when he bludgeoned Mr. Cisco’s head with it months ago. “But since you hate each other, you get to fight it out in a 5-0 Street Fight, and the winner gets an Aztec Medallion.” Cortez agrees not to arrest Dario for murder, because Aztec Medallions are too cool for the sake of justice.
Son of Havoc vs Son of Madness, Boylan Heights Street Fight
As the two fight, Vampiro smacks off about the biker culture and how they have some kind of primordial rule of law, and jackets are sacred, and Vampiro has evil spirits stalking him that tell him these things. Matt humors him and drops in some relevant cultural references, which Vampiro professes his undying lover for. The two masked bikers brawl all over the Temple and use parts of the audience as their battleground. When Havoc was on the top rope, Madness ran at him brandishing a hammer. However, Havoc had a beer bottle he crushed over his rival’s head, which had a crashy sound effect dubbed in, and then followed up with a shooting star press for the win. SoH is hugely over with the Temple.
*BAHWANNNGGAAAAHHHH
BAANNNNHHH*
You’re not wrong. Frankly I don’t think either one of them did their best work here.
Dayum! Sage Beckett used to be heaveh.
I thought that was common knowledge? She was Rosie Lottalove in TNA.
She was also the bald girl in the Straight Edge Society too, right?
Nah, that was Serena Deeb.
I remember watching Serena’s Shimmer debut on Volume 5, and to see her improve from her debut until when she got signed by OVW/WWE made me a fan, so I was disappointed that her run on the main roster didn’t pan out. Because of how Shimmer spaces out their DVD tapings, it was also weird how she went from having a smaller nose and much larger breasts on, like, Volume 11* than she had on Volume 10. I wasn’t even aware until I saw her in the MYC that she’d had the implants removed.
- I don’t remember whether those were the correct DVD’s, I just remember that I watched them in sequential order, but not in “real” time, so it was weird, from my point of view, to see the physical changes on successive DVD’s.
Tessa Blanchard would be hot if not for that monstrous jaw.
Chyna fixed her jaw, so maybe Tessa will too.
Piper Niven reminds me of Rebel Wilson. Big husky girl, but surprisingly agile and chubby cute.
Dakota Kai is the New Zealand version of Bayley. Kairi Sane is just adorable.
I liked the way Taynara Conti presented herself as a mystic warrior, kinda like David Carradine as Kwai Chang Caine. I hope they bring her back.
That was the first time I’d seen her. I didn’t get into TNA until the Broken Hardys era.
Ah ok, oops, got my “ladies whose name’s begin with S” confused.
Speaking of SES, upon learning about her being in it was the first time I had herd of Karl Anderson being in it too. I literally had no idea he had been in the WWE before.
Now I think you’re whooshing me.
Whoops! Typo’d that one. Meant to say Luke Gallows. Although if you looked past me getting the wrong Club member and went straight to my ignorance of the fact, 'tis true, I never knew that.
Then again, keep in mind, I’ve only been watching for the last 5 years or so.
Gallows was mainly CM Punk’s stooge, then the angle ended and he was let go. Didn’t really make an everlasting impression at the time. Then he became huge in NJPW and now he’s back.
And before that, he was in a tag team with Bam Bam Gordy’s son, as a (according CM Punk) drug-addled country bumpkin.
JBL is stepping down from commentary to spend more time working with his charity.
Maybe this’ll open up an avenue for Mauro to get back on the main roster.
Nope, Mauro won’t come near a headset with Vince on the other end of it.
Sadly, this probably means more time for zero added value people like Lawler, Booker T and Otunga. 