Missy Hyatt rates the penises…fascinating and disgusting at the same time. No nudity but very NSFW dialog
http://shitloadsofwrestling.tumblr.com/post/104869582331/missy-hyatt-reveals-penis-sizes-2013-its
Here’s Missy on the Heyman Hustle from 2008. Ho ho hoooo…
Indy show recap time again!
After spending the summer in Tacoma, it was back to Seattle’s Washington Hall this past Friday for “DEFY 8: Kings Among Men”. There was no DEFY 7 - it was originally scheduled to happen earlier in September, but was cancelled due to the one-two punch of it being Seahawks opening day and ECCW running a show in Vancouver the night before. WA Hall’s biggest con is that it doesn’t have air conditioning, and if it’s hot outside, it’s HOT inside. Fortunately, we just barely dodged a bullet there - it had been 87 degrees the day before, but a cold front blew in overnight and it was in the low 60s on Friday, so the hall was perfectly comfortable and I didn’t sweat at all. Tragically, however, the Chicago-style food truck that sells amazing Italian beef sandwiches, which was supposed to be there for the show, didn’t make it. A shwarma truck showed up shortly before the doors opened and took its place; it looked darn tasty, but I had my hopes up for Italian beef, dammit.
I got my usual front row seat, which meant I got to get in early for the meet-and-greet. I got pictures taken with Matt Riddle (a professional pic which I won’t get for another day or two), with John Morrison and Taya, with Jeff Cobb, and with Shane Strickland. Morrison complimented me on my increasingly infamous Cornette Face shirt (I’ve become known to some of the regulars as Cornette Face Guy because I’ve worn this thing to almost every show) and asked me where I bought it because he wants one himself. I bought a shirt from Shane and got some more signed 8x10s from him, Morrison, and Taya. (I had them already, but may as well add some more to my gradually expanding wall of wrestling memorabilia.) In a major change from the previous shows DEFY has run, there was no barricade in between the ring and the front row, so whenever the wrestlers were preparing to do a dive, security would rush over to that side of the ring and hustle everybody out of the way lest nobody have a 250-pound slab of muscle land on top of them and ruin their day.
At the beginning of the show, the returning ring announcer Steve Migs hyped up everything that’s happened in DEFY in the less-than-a-year that it’s existed - performances by multiple wrestlers who’ve gone on to WWE, a CZW title change, Impact and AAA champions in the ring, even an ROH world title defense. So well known is DEFY becoming that other promotions are sending their champions here to defend their titles - and that’s where we began.
The opening match of the night was for the PCW (an LA promotion) light heavyweight championship, with champion Douglas James defending against Randy Voss. James is a short but fit guy who’s a dead ringer for Davey Richards, to the point that I thought he was Davey when I ran into him before the show. Randy Voss is a Joker-looking guy with green hair and a painted-on Glasgow smile, who enters to “At Last” by Ella Fitzgerald and minces his way to the ring in a highly effeminate Gorgeous George style. The Seattle crowd, of course, loved it and were cheering for him, and he even got a “SEXY BITCH!” chant going at multiple times in the match. Pretty standard opening match, good back-and-forth, with James retaining after about 10 minutes.
Up next in tag team action was the Amerikan Gunz vs. the Chris and Patrick, the Vörös twins. The Gunz are the team of Ethan HD and “the heat-seekin’ Puerto Rican” Mike Santiago. They’re former tag team champions in WCWC (the Portland territory) who had an acrimonius breakup last year, which lead to Ethan losing a “Loser leaves town” match to Mike back at DEFY 1. (Now that they’re reunited, that stipulation has apparently been waived.) The Vöröses are identical twin brothers from Hungary, and they’re far more identical than the Bellas or the Usos - they’re both big tall lanky blond fellas, with the same physique, the same hairdo, the same outfits, and they even wear KE tape in the same position on their shoulders. I had absolutely no idea which one of them was which and found myself thinking of them as “Vörös #1” and “Vörös #2”.
The Gunz jumped the gun and attacked the Vöröses before the bell rang. A donnybrook ensued for the following few minutes before order was restored, including a spot where the Vöröses did synchronized dives into the Gunz from opposite sides of the ring. Once the match proper started, Vörös #1 was the Ricky Morton taking a beating from the Gunz until he got the hot tag in. Ultimately, though, the Gunz got the win.
Up next was a women’s triple threat featuring Taya Valkyrie, Christina von Eerie, and Nicole Matthews. Taya entered in the same crown-and-cape combo she’s been wearing on Impact and was introduced as the longest-reigning AAA women’s champion of all time (which is true). Christina was accompanied, as usual, by her husband Scotty Mac, who still insists on waving the Tacoma Women’s Cup around as if he won it himself and not her. He cut a glorious heel promo on the Streamer Club after they threw a bunch of rainbow streamers at him and chanted “FUCK SCOTTY MAC!” He insisted that Christina is the only one who gets to fuck Scotty Mac regardless of what the sexual deviants in Seattle might think, and then threatened to go to DEFY management and have them banned from the hall and all streamers confiscated at the door. Christina tried to throw a streamer back at them, but it didn’t unroll, which prompted a chant of “YOU FUCKED UP!”
When the match started, Scotty tried to jump up on the ring apron and grab the lanyard that was still there from the tag team match and insist that Christina be allowed to tag him in. Taya immediately attacked him and tossed him to the floor, and from there the match was on. He tried to interfere a few more times, always and inevitably getting shut down by Taya or Nicole. The fight found its way out of the ring and, at one point, onto the stage of WA Hall (which the promotion uses as box seating). Taya got the win by pinning Christina, with Scotty trying to run in to break the pin but coming up short.
The last match of the first half was for the PCW heavyweight championship, with Jeff Cobb (Matanza) challenging Johnny Nitro/Morrison/Mundo/Impact, who tonight was wrestling under his real name, John Hennigan. Both these guys were over, and after they observed the Code of Honor at the beginning of the match, the crowd was red-hot for both of them. There was a spot where Cobb was on the matt and Morrison stood over him and did the “U CANT C ME” gesture which got a huge pop and a chant of “LET’S GO CENA/CENA SUCKS!” He tried for a five-knuckle shuffle but got blocked, and Cobb followed up by doing the gesture himself and following up with a standing moonsault. After a few unsuccessful attempts, Morrison managed to hit The End of the World on Cobb and retain the title.
It was now time for the intermission, and just as the crowd was breaking, Steve Migs had a special announcement to make; on October 26th, DEFY would be running the first floor of WA Hall (the shows up until now have been in the ballroom on the second floor) for “DEFY NOW”, a special, intimate show featuring Pacific Northwest wrestlers exclusively. Front row seats were available for $25 (as opposed to $75 for a standard DEFY show) and were on sale in the lobby. As soon as he said “on sale in the lobby” I made a beeline from my seat and gave promoter Jim Perry $25 cash for a seat at that show.
After the break, we got Bellingham’s own Big Jack Cunningham, “the giant slayer”, vs. Brody King. If you recall my previous DEFY reviews, you’ll know that Big Jack is a giant hoss whose gimmick is that it’s practically impossible to knock him down. Brody King is also such a hoss, and slightly fitter to boot; Big Jack wears a full-body costume, while Brody wears just a pair of tights with an all-seeing eye on them and displays his collection of tattooes of monsters and demons. This was mostly a hoss fight, although both men broke out some high spots I wouldn’t have expected from guys so heavy. Big Jack did a dive onto Brody on the floorn which prompted cries of “CALL THE BUILDING INSPECTOR!” Big Jack ultimately got the win off, of all things, an AA.
The match that followed was supposed to be Clark Connors vs. Big Jack’s kayfabe brother, Carl ‘the Catch’ Cunningham. Clark, who sort of looks and wrestles like a young Dolph Ziggler, was accompanied to the ring by his valet Rebel Kel, a shockingly gorgeous brunette woman who shares the Bella twins’ taste in leather booty shorts. As the introductions were being made, Catch grabbed the mic and exhibited a rare example of wrestlers actually being famiiliar with the show they’re on by pointing out that, every time Kel’s at ringside, she winds up getting involved in the match. So why not just make it official and put her in the match? (Teddy Long would be proud.) Of course, Big Jack has already worked a match tonight, so Catch says he’s talked to DEFY management and they’ll let him pick a partner, and he says he’s found “someone else who’s sexy and has long legs” to work with him. In comes Cody Chhun - a tall thin Cambodian guy. Clark Connors winds up being the Ricky Morton in this match, with Rebel getting the pin on Cody.
Finally, we had the main event, with the DEFY championship on the line - Shane “Swerve” Strickland (Killshot) vs. Matt Riddle. Riddle is a former UFC fighter with an 8-3-2 record, who was fired in 2014 for testing positive for marijuana. Since then, he’s gone into pro wrestling and embraced a stoner persona in ways Rob Van Dam could only dream of, and has been titled the “king of bros” to Strickland’s “king of swerve”.
This was absolutely the match of the night. Riddle started out strong with an MMA takedown, and throughout the match he was using his knowledge of legitimate fighting holds and throws to take advantage. At one point, Matt managed to hit not one, but two Bro-To-Sleeps (his variant on the GTS). There was an extremely impressive spot where Strickland went for a top-rope foot stomp, and as Shane was in the air, he stuck his legs up, caught him in mid-descent, and locked in a Kimura. It was the best looking worked Kimura I’ve ever seen and I was shocked that Shane didn’t immediately tap to it. They made a storyline after that out of Shane working Matt’s arm, and Matt trying a second Kimura and hurting himself in the process, so that when Shane finally caught him in a cross-armbreaker, he had no choice but to tap.
After the match, Shane cut a promo about how great it was to be celebrating his birthday (for it WAS his birthday), in his hometown, for the first time since he was born. (Shane was born on Fort Lewis to a military family and spent his childhood years globetrotting.) He said he’d likely be staying up all night until he could catch an early flight back to his home in Florida so he could celebrate somewhere sunny, and that he’d be hanging his titles (the DEFY championship, the CZW world championship, and the Wrestlecircus championship) up on his wall so he could give them the respect they deserve until the next time he has to defend them.
That was the end of the show; Migs wished us a good night, and hoped to see us back for DEFY NOW, as well as for DEFY 9 in November, which is to feature the PNW debut of Sami Callihan (formerly known as Solomon Crowe)! No matches have been announced yet, but seeing as SC’s become the face of CZW this year, my guess is he’ll be challenging Shane for the CZW title so he can bring it back home.
Yet another solid show overall. I already have my tickets for DEFY NOW, DEFY 9, and the as-yet-unannounced DEFY 10. (Jim Perry offered me a front-row seat for it in lieu of a refund for my ticket for the cancelled show.) The company has just released DEFY 4 for on-demand streaming; it and the three shows before it can be viewed at defyondemand.com (this is not a paid endorsement; I just love this company) for a nominal monthly fee, which also gets you access to shows from a number of other indy promotions.
Whose house? SWERVE’S HOUSE!
Taya’s got bigger shoulders than you and Johnny.
So what’s everyone’s opinion on RAWs new strategy of making the main event in the 10:00 hour and leaving the rest as filler?
I can never stay up for the third hour of RAW anyway, so I’m liking it pretty good, but I’ll be interested to see how long it lasts
RAW may be trying to woo views from MNF halftime with that tactic.
Just my WAG.
At least this way, my DVR doesn’t cut off the last few minutes of the main event when RAM runs past 11:05, so I like it.
I don’t get what they’re doing with Jason Jordan. The announcers practically make him out to be the Messiah of WWE, but then he loses. It’s like they’re using the Roman Reigns method of pushing to make him look like a really huge disappointment.
That was some cool facial mapping they used on Bray Wyatt’s face in his promo, but what will they do live? If he’s going to be possessed by Sister Abigail during his matches, they can’t just turn out the lights and have him put on a witch mask. I’d love to see Nikki Cross take the role.
Second part. May end up being Sage Beckett.
Aww man, that means my ultimate dream of having Sister Abigail be Bayley may finally be dashed
Ok, that would be fucking hilarious. Months of Bray trying to convince Bayley that she is something other than what she is, that she needs to remember who she really is, that she needs to break free of these lies of love and hugging.
So instead of tube guys fluttering around her, she’d have corpses drop down tied to nooses.
Shane, I know you’re going to crush the Hell in a Cell match with KO, but I wish you’d show more passion in your promos. Your facial expressions hardly change and you never rise above the level of mild annoyance. “Kevin, I’m extremely displeased with the way you treated my father.”
At least it’s not Stephanie on the mic.
The content of last night’s show wasn’t good, but it was a good show because of what it taught me: I can skip any go home show Smackdown puts on.
It’s just 1000 video packages and some token matches that don’t mean anything because everyone is saving themselves for Sunday. From now on I’m not even going to attempt to watch go home shows.
I missed it because I cut the cord on my cable. Went into the Comcast store yesterday saying I wanted to cut my bill by at least $50. They tried to sell me a security package. I’m in a third floor apartment with one window that no one is climbing through. So I cancelled my cable service and kept just the internet.
So no more live RAW or Smackdown for me. I’ll just be watching NXT, the PPVs and the occasional 205 Live.
Hulu Plus has Raw, Smackdown, and 205 Live. Raw is truncated, but I think Smackdown is the full show. It is where I catch the shows if not watching live (like last night, where my Yankees were the true must-see TV).
Found it on some other site, in 7 parts. Considering I simply googled it and went to the site to watch it, I can’t figure that it was illegal or anything.
Exciting news from tonight’s NXT tapings - WWE is bringing back War Games for Takeover next month!
For those of you who weren’t WCW viewers, War Games is a multi-man no-holds barred match that takes place in two rings positioned side by side and surrounded by a steel cage with a roof. The competitors are divided into two or more teams. The match starts with two men in the ring, with the others entering one by one at set intervals. Once all men are in the ring, the doors are locked and all the men continue fighting until one team scores a victory by making a member of another team submit.
This War Games is going to be a 3-on-3-on-3 affair, with Sanity vs. Adam Cole & reDRagon vs. Roderick Strong and the Authors of pain. Should be a real slobberknocker.
Ms. Cups and I actually went to the taping last night and, needless to say, the crowd popped pretty hard. The funniest part to me is that before the announcement everyone kept talking about “NXT Takeover Houston” but once they made the announcement it was always “NXT War Games”. They also had the pink rope for the first show, and covered it with the yellow tape immediately after, since those tapings won’t air until after Oct ends. Good attention to detail WWE.
Another thing from the taping is that Izzy has gone goth and apparently gone through puberty. She was wearing all black, a Sanity shirt, and even blacked out her hair. She also freaked the hell out when Johnny Garbanzo touched her. Our little girl is growing up…
Goth Izzy? Maybe she’ll be a Paige mark now, if Paige ever gets out of the doghouse.
While leaving the arena* someone called her out on it and her mom basically said “She likes to change it up sometimes ya know?”
Despite my light chiding of her, I do kinda feel sorry for the girl. She can’t do a damn thing without someone reporting or commenting on it.
*to go outside and see the Street Prophets doing an angle in the parking lot where Montezz Ford is standing on the roof of a Mustang and denting the ever-loving shit out of it.