Irony, thy name is Sir T-Cups. 
Hey now, other than running into her at Universal I never judge her, I just report on other people judging her.
You know what I haven’t done in ages? Made predictions! Here they are in the order I think of them:
**Bagels/Benjamin vs. Hype Bros **: A very little fanfare match that, I believe, only serves to eventually break up the Hype Bros for…reasons. Heaven forbid the tag division mean anything right?
Nattie vs. Charlotte This one is harder to predict than it looks. There’s a strong part of me that thinks “Keep it on Nattie because she’s doing a fine job with it and there’s no reason to take it off of her now” while the other part of me thinks “They’re just going to hotshot it onto Charlotte AGAIN to pump up her championship numbers”. I think the correct way of doing this is to have Nattie retain, have Carmella cash in on her, then allow Carmella to keep the belt til Rumble where Charlotte wins it off her. Do I think that’s happening? Nope. Charlotte wins because numbers.
The Ginge vs. Nakamura I’m one of the rare birds that actually doesn’t mind Jinder as champion, my problem with him is his character. The foreign heel playing the race card was fine at first, but now it’s getting just boring. What they should have done is use his body as motivation. “I used to be fat and lazy like you stupid people of Detroit, but now I’m swole and blah blah”. Nak doesn’t need the belt, but he’ll look just find doing his weird crap with a belt that clashes with his jacket. My heart wants to say Nak wins so that we can have new storylines…but my head says Jinder via the Singhs. Jinder wins.
RKO vs RuRu God I hope this isn’t a 3 second match. RKO wins because let’s punish Rusev for some stupid reason
Usos vs New Day: This is/will be the match of the night. These guys can just flat-out go and I’m super excited for this match. I’m expecting tons of kickass high spots, probably blood and a finish in off or around the actual cell. I think the New Day retain here, but I’ll not complain one bit if they don’t.
Shane vs. KO “We’re gonna fight in hell in a cell so you can’t escape! But make it falls count anywhere just in case, you know, you do!” Has there ever been more of a guarantee that someone escapes the cell? I predict many backstage weapons and chaos. This match will blow us away. KO wins because he’s an actual wrestler and will be put over because of it.
Now we get to the matches I had to look up because I forgot they even existed
Booby Roode vs. Zigs I don’t even care. Roode wins because he’s new and deserves it. Dolph loses because even the smarks who love him don’t love him anymore.
Aj Styles and Corbin Poor Corbin. He has no right to be as buried as he has been. He’s such a good heel and he’s reduced to losing US championship matches. I think one of 2 things happen: He wins by a dick punch or he wins by DQ cuz Tye comes out and hits him. I’m learning more towards the dick punch.
BONUS!
Fashion Files: Unfortunately I doubt it’s a debut. So I’m going to go with the Ascension again. Why not?
It’s like they’re not even trying on the PPVs. This should be two-three episodes of Smackdown. (Three because of the bullshit filler).
WWE doesn’t have time for wrestling on Smackdown. They need that airtime for stuff that really matters, like 20-minute promos and video packages. This Tuesday’s episode featured a grand total of 15 minutes of actual wrestling from bell to bell.
Exactly. So if they split the PPV into three episodes, we might get that sweet spot of 2/3 wrestling, 1/3 other. It’s not like the matches are PPV calibre (though most of the performers will really bring their A game and light it up in a way they don’t do on TV - and then there is Rusev/Orton…)
Honestly have next to zero interest in this show.
We pretty much know that Vince is going to ignore every sign and reason to put the belt on Nakamura to keep it on Jinder for the Indian tour. Even though I think they’d be better served by giving it to Nakamura here, enjoying the good media and merch sales, then allowing Jinder to win it back cleanly (as a face before the home audience) on the very first night of the India tour.
Don’t give a half-shit about the Hype Bros.
Natalya should retain, but they’re too busy hot potato-ing the two women’s titles. 
Orton-Rusev. Probably going to bury Rusev for whateverthefuck reasons Vince has to keep burying the guy, making me completely uninterested in Orton or this match.
Shane-KO. Good lord, did you hear one of the rumors that they’re going to go to the back so that they can have a FUCKING PRE-RECORDED STUNT move to protect Shane? I am just fucking sick to death of having any of the McMahons or Trips on my TV in any kind of wrestling or authority role.
Don’t give a microgram of feces about Ziggler anymore.
Unsure of AJ Styles-Corbin. Corbin has joined Rusev in the ‘WWE keeps shitting on this guy’ sweepstakes.
Fashion Files. I dunno. I like the two guys and I’m glad to see them get air time, but when are they actually going to wrestle and get a push already?
Dang. The minute Tye Dillinger was added to the Corbin-Styles match, I knew he was going to be the one to take the pin, but I wasn’t sure if it was to protect Styles or not. The answer is, Yes.
Well at least Corbin gets a title run, even if it ends Tuesday.
Usos / New Day was awesome. Nakamura / Singh was a trainwreck. I think there were other matches, but…
…so, I guess Sami Zayn is a heel now?
Let’s just hope Vince doesn’t find out he’s Muslim.
Might as well be, Lord knows he isn’t doing anything else anyway. It might actually make him interesting!
Let’s not rush to judgment, on either point.
I had a good chortle when KO was raking Shane’s head against the cage in front of his family and the camera showed his kids laughing.
Now I’m imagining Vince trying to stick Sami with Jinder and both of them trying to explain to Vince that Jinder is a Sikh and Sami Muslim and they are not remotely the same thing.
“Yeah yeah, one doesn’t eat cows and the other doesn’t eat pigs. What else ya got?”
And now I’m imagining Jim Cornette yelling at Shane’s kids for exposing the business.
Five women fighting it out for the opportunity to be Asuka’s first RAW opponent (when three of them have already had Asuka hand them their ass) has got to be, kayfabe-wise, the most #HustlingBackwards thing ever.
It’s simply amazing that after years of talking up Sister Abigail - who is she? Is she alive? Is she dead? Who was/is she to Bray? Who will play her when she finally makes an appearance? - the best they could come up with was Bray dressed in drag. This is Gobbledygooker levels of bad booking and I feel sorry for Finn that he has to pretend to be frightened by this clownshoes, Mickey Mouse, slapdash, hokey, cheesy, bumbling nonsense.
On the plus side (for me at least), I’ll be seeing Raw live next week with the Roman Reigns vs. BROWN STRONGMAN cage match. I’ve never been in the audience for a cage match before, and with the Shield reunion finally giving people a reason to cheer for Roman Reigns, this just might be a pretty solid go-home show for TLC.
I thought it was pretty laughable, but that’s kayfabe… :rolleyes:
Just saw this about Shane. Don’t know what he’s trying to prove with these stunts.