Any WWE fans in the audience? (Part 1)

Ok, time for Wrestlemania Predictions;

John Cena vs. The Undertaker

Cena comes out and sits in the front row next to two empty seats during the pre-show, and cuts a promo about how happy he is to be there watching the show.

Mark Caloway and Michelle McCool come out at beginning of the show in street clothes with beers and food, and sit down next to him.

Because I want to see this, dammit!

BROOOOCKKKKK vs Roman Reigns

Well, I guess we’ll see if Bork signed a new contract or not. Frankly, I don’t care about this match, I don’t give a fart about Brock and I’d rather see him gone.

Asuka vs. Charlotte

Charlotte wins to break the streak. They’re finally getting out stories in other media about this, read a good one about this match last night. That should give them a little bit of coverage on the flip side too. I would not be completely shocked if this match main evented, but I don’t expect it to.

Carmella tries to cash in and gets murdered.

Alexa Bliss vs. Nia Jax

I expect a lot of running away and begging off but Nia eventually getting her hands on her for the win.

Styles vs. Nakamura

If they actually give them the time, this will be the best match on the card. I’d love to see Nakamura go over for the championship, but I somehow doubt Vince is ready to pull the trigger.

Rousey/Angle v. Steph/Trips

Rousey taps out Steph. You’d be an idiot to bet otherwise. Might even be dual submission.

Bryan/Shane v KO/Sami

I’m betting KO and Sami win, but I’d rather see them lose and show up on RAW the next night as free agents. DBD should get the pin on KO.

Intercontinental Title

I’m going to go with Seth Rollins. I’d rather see it go to Finn Balor, but I think he’s going to eat the pin. Miz is a couple of weeks short of Pedro Morales’ record on number of days holding the title, but he’s also one short of Chris Jericho’s number of title reigns. So he drops the title to feud with Seth over it for a couple of months. Then he’ll tie Jericho for # of reigns and pass Morales in # of days in the next reign.

US Title Match

Not liking this match. I don’t like Orton and he’s already won it recently. I’d love to go with Rusev, but he’s “not being featured right now”.

I guess I’ll go with Jinder Mahal, because winning this title would be good for him. I’d also like to see him feud with Rusev after mania, but perhaps I’ll win the lottery this weekend too, eh?

The Bar v Braun Strowman

Braun wins so they can recycle the “I AM THE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS” line.

Usos v New Day v Bludgeon Bros

I’m thinking they want to give BB a title reign.

Cruiserweight Championship

Goddamn it so much, this had better not be on the pre-show. I think Cedrick deserves it for constantly having to jump through the #1 contender hoops at length with Enzo and then once again after that blew up on them. But Ali has been on fire and I don’t care who wins, I just want to see the match on the main show with some actual time. If they give them this, then I think this is #2 to Styles/Nakamura.

Andre Memorial

They have like nine guys announced for this, but I expect every other warm body (Big Show, The Ascension) to show up. I’m going to go with Big Show winning for the second time.

The Uterus Cup

(Seriously, look at it.) I’m going to go with Bayley, but they may well throw us a complete curve ball on this one.

Let’s make it even better.

When Mark and Michelle walk out with beers and food, Michelle is carrying two beers and hands one to Cena as she sits between them. :cool:

That does sound like a cool angle, but it doesn’t involve UT making an entrance. UT has to have a WM entrance with funeral bells, organ music, dark clouds and lightning.

This makes sense only to me…

Matt Taven of RoH always talks about conspiracies in his promos. When he makes his entrance, his hands form a triangle around his right eye. He’s recreating the Eye in the Pyramid that appears on the dollar bill and has long been used as a conspiracy icon. He’s signaling he’s on to them!

Fuckin AYYYY That Ladder Match was a work of art! How would you like to be the match that follows that?

ADAM COLE BAYBAY!!! Greatest brat heel evah!

And Adam Cole is your first-ever NXT North American Champion, bay-bay!

Match could’ve stood to be about 15 minutes shorter, though. It got to a point where it seemed like the wrestlers were more interested in doing spots than in trying to go for the belt.

Roderick Strong turns on his partner and helps UE win the match! What a shocking swerve, Tenay!

Well, that took me by surprise. They actually managed to capitalize on a past dangling storyline thanks to Bobby Fish’s injury. I thought Dunne was going to turn on Strong, but the exact opposite happened, and in a way that made sense!

I love the production of this show. The live musicians have added a lot of cool factor to this thing.

NEW CHAMPION!

Now that was a damn good match.

Meanwhile, Alberto El Patron has been fired (yet again) after no-showing the main event of the Impact vs. Lucha Underground iPPV last night.

Are there any bridges left for him to burn?

Damn I’m exhausted. That was the most I marked out in years. Takeover has outdone WM again, and WM hasn’t even started.

Maybe he’ll show up with a lacerated arm again.

Solid show overall. Every match felt important and everyone got time to shine. Aside from the ladder match going too long and stretching credibility with the spots, no real complaints.

My totally useless predictions:
Reigns wins (duh)

Nakamura wins (Kinshasa to AJ during the Forearm)

Angle/Rousey win (Rousey tries to tear Steph’s arm off)

Charlotte/Asuka no contest (Asuka lock on Char, Asuka’s shoulders are on the mat, she’s pinned at the same time Char submits, this all goes to some sort of gimmick rematch at Backlash)

Shane turns heel on DBD, DBD steals a win, DBD vs Shane at Backlash

Finn wins. Hopefully we get a surprise Demon appearance.

Ummm…Bludgeon Brothers win? Sure, why not.

Nia beats holy hell out of Alexa, Alexa steals a win after Mickey James shenanigans, Carmella cashes in, 3 way dance at Backlash

Rusev wins because the Universe is a just and reasonable place which operates by rational laws and it’s freaking Rusev Day.

A hopefully dreadlock-free reincarnated Bray Wyatt joins Braun, Brayn win the belts

Andre Battle Royal: Kane? Cass? Ziggles? Whatever.

Women’s Battle Royal: Sonya Deville is ready for the big time, she picks up 4 or 5 eliminations to win the thing. Sasha completes her heel turn, she and Bayley face off at Backlash and remind everyone what Respect really means. Sonya ends up feuding with Asuka after the Charlotte program ends. Or Sonya vs Rousey.

:smiley:

Thank you, my friend, that was good.

Elias wasn’t in La Royale Battelle, so looks like he’s Braun’s podnah.

Good luck to everyone making it through the next 5-6 (7?) hours. I’ve got plenty of rum, chips and homemade salsa to help me make it to the end.

Tacos and weed here.

Grats Seth Rollins! Awesome threesome.

All three members of the Shield are now Grand Slam winners.