Anyone wanna fill in the wrestling newbie on our special NXT guest?
GORE! GORE! GOOOOOOORRRRE!
Rhyno’s in NXT and he never ages! And it looks like they’re going to have him work a feud with Finn! Sweet!
STC, Rhyno is probably best known from ECW, but he’s a wrestling gypsy who’s been in just about every federation that ever existed. He’s worked for WWE before, as well as WCW, RoH and TNA. He’s usually enhancement talent for the A-listers, but he always puts on brutal matches and never makes it easy for his opponent. He’s also somewhat of a hardcore legend, having worked his share of barbwire matches and the like. I’m surprised he came out of the blue like that. I thought he’d at least merit a couple weeks of promotion, but I guess he’s in NXT to add more heel balance.
NXT is really moving away from its designation as a development program, as they’re signing some major indy talent. Maybe there will eventually be a development program for NXT?
Solomon Crowe looks like Heat Miser. Same hairstyle. CJ Parker continues to be the bitch for new talent. The way he had his hair bound up made his head look like a boiled shrimp.
Kevin Owens vs Adrian Neville: always something new! That’s the first time I’ve ever seen a 450 splash done to somebody on the floor.
How many more ways can Enzo screw up his head hair? He looked like a king from a poker deck. Again, he shows no offense and Cass pretty much wins the match by himself. Even Ricky Morton didn’t act like the fall guy 100% of the time. Geez, at least throw a punch or something. Looks like the Vaudevillains’ 15 minutes of fame is just about to expire.
Sasha vs BLUE PANTS! How did this jobber gain a cult following all the sudden? Enzo and Cass are booking magic! I have a feeling they’re gonna form their own federation someday. Cass will sing all the entrance music himself.
GORE! GORE! GOOOOOOORRRRRE!
ETA: Darren Young’s partner on this past RAW was Kevin Kross from a promotion in Las Vegas.
*BAWANGAWAAHHHH
BANNNNHHHHH*
What a main event! Somehow the sideshow attractions became the main stars. LU doesn’t just book. They write movie scripts. Dario’s chilling instructions to the crew: “Get rid of those freaks. Bring true ferocity back to this sacred temple.” Pimpinella gets taken out, then Mascarita gets taken out, and then Sexy Star is pounded in the corner by The Crew and their swarm of wasp stings. Yet through it all, she reverses their offensive spikes and pulls a Survivor Series Ziggler! Hmmm, will that become a buzz phrase like “Dusty finish” and “Hogan Leg Drop of Doom”?
And now, two love triangles: Muertes-Catrina-Fenix and Angélico-Ivelisse-Son of Havoc. LU’s wikipedia page has recently added
The Lucha Underground Trios Championship with Angélico, Ivelisse and Son of Havoc as champions
The mystic rock acts as a lodestone for Muertes, but Catrina does not always crave the Lick of Death. Is Chavo for real quitting LU, or is this another storyline where he reunites with his family and they teach him what it means to be a Guerrero? Will Vickie be part of it? So many possibilities! Will this web ever be untangled?
We got to meet Alberto’s mortal enemy. I suppose “Tejano” identifies himself as Texan over Mexican in order to get heat in AAA, and he says Alberto stole his title. I’m thinking LU is really another stop in their feud across Mexico, but that’s fine. The indys seem to be networking a lot these days, and there’s more “consultants” than permanent roster stars. Welcome to the Corporate World.
Another mystery introduced: Cage tells Dario to make a real belt, not one made from Aztec junk. Dario muses, “The gods will not be pleased…” How will godlike retribution take form at The Temple? Will there be a rain of frogs? Will Los Angeles suffer a drought? Will Black Lotus’s nemesis be released from the temple tombs to act as punishment from the Aztec gods?
Wrestling is secondary to the LU mysticism. I like the way this show is evolving, and it’s like nothing no other wrestling promotion has done before.
*BAWANGAWAAHHHH
BANNNNHHHHH*
Solomon Crowe looks like a Human cartoon. Seriously. Paint his skin red and with that outfit, you’d swear you were looking at some 80’s comic book X-Men/Thundercats type drawing.
I loved when Rhyno came out. Guy in the front row holding his kid’s ears, laughing his ass off while chanting “Holy Shit! Holy Shit!” 
Thoughts on NXT first.
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Have I mentioned how much I love William Regal as GM? After decades of endless heel authority figures who openly screw everyone over and gloat about it, we have an authority figure who actually acts like a sports authority figure - he’s impartial, he’s professional, he doesn’t play favorites, and he actually acts like he cares about the reputation of the business. I wonder how Triple H feels booking segments like this and then going to Raw and having Vince tell him to spend 20 minutes doing the exact same thing Eric Bischoff was doing 20 years ago.
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On a similar note, it’s nice to see Kevin Owens as a heel champion who isn’t a sniveling coward. The main roster almost always books heel champions (e.g. Randy Orton, Mizdow, Dean Ambrose when he was US champion) as trying to weasel their way out of fights, running away from their opponents, cheating or relying on their goon squads to win, etc. Owens isn’t a coward - he calls Finn out and tells him to name the date and time and he’ll kick his ass.
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Sir T-Cups: Our special guest is Rhino, an ECW original (and was, in fact, the final ECW world champion) who went to WWF after the buyout. He was in TNA for quite a long time, and this is his first match back in WWE. From what I’ve read, his return is Triple H’s doing - he wants to get more of the old hands back in the fold and working in NXT to give the new guys someone more experienced to work with. From what I’ve heard, The Brian Kendrick (who you may have seen if you’ve been watching RoH lately) will also be returning in NXT soon. Looks like Rhino is setting up for a feud with Finn, which ought to be good.
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Enzo’s got a beard now! I miss the leopard-print hairdo though. The crowd is starting to turn on Carmella, though. They need to get her off of these guys as soon as possible, because she’s killing their heat. The Realest Guys In the Room (HOWUDOIN’) pick up the win, making me wonder if they’re going to be contending for Blake and Murphy’s titles soon.
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Solomon Crowe makes his long-awaited TV debut to break up CJ Parker’s (hilarious) #OccupyNXT attempt. He looks like every '80s/'90s Hollywood hacker cliché combined in one, and I love it.
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OL’ BLUE PANTS IS AWESOME AND DESERVES TO BE WOMEN’S CHAMPION NOW. As a side note, she played the Rosebud whose clothes Paige stole on Raw this week. Why couldn’t she have won this match?
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I’m surprised they actually used screen time to give a kayfabe justification for why Sami made it to the house shows in Abu Dhabi last weekend. Acknowledging that house shows exist, let alone matter, is remarkably old-school. (For the record; the last time a house show actually affected the TV product was in 2012, when Evan Bourne failed a drug test and he and Kofi Kingston had to drop the tag titles to Primo & Epico so Bourne could be suspended the next day.)
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Did they actually have Roman Reigns “cock this here fist” in that commercial? My God. Roman is so getting booed out of the building if he beats Daniel Bryan on Sunday.
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Neville and Owens put on one barnburner of a match. Neville jumping in the ring for half a second and then climbing back out to restart the countout was clever, and the German suplex he gave Owens was sold perfectly by both of them. You’d think that after Takeover Neville would have learned not to take so much time to set up the Red Arrow when you could just go for a pin, but Owens had to win this match and it was as good a finish as any.
Thoughts on Lucha Underground in a while.
Quarterly meeting at work, and making it seem like half the workers here don’t exist made for a busy morning!
NXT was a pretty good show that was 100% stolen by Adrian and Steen. I was floored during that match and thought it absolutely blew away the Steen and Zayn match.
As I asked, the Rhyno cameo was a bit lost on me, but from what you guys are saying and from what I’m hearing, Trips is wanting to bring in more veteran talent to teach the young’ns and to give some rubs, so I wouldn’t be against that. Did you guys SEE Boogeyman at the Rumble? Dude is still huge.
If I had to venture a guess as to the love for ole’ Blue Pants, it’s that the smark crowd of full-sail knows a jobber when they see one, so they want to just have fun and cheer the jobber. Plus, Blue Pants is a hilariously ridiculous name. Love that they kept Cass singiner TPIR, love that her video package is just a static image of blue pants, love that her location is “from the clearance rack”, love that her font was blue. Just a great overall character that NXT was smart enough to jump on. Still shoulda won.
Speaking of winning, the Jersey Boys won! It’s been a while. And it seemed like they were teasing a breakup for a while with Carmella being the Yoko of the group, but hopefully that just goes away. Bring on the Happy Tag Team!
Solomon Crowe looks like RVD adjace. Not excited for him in the least. Poor CJ parker…
Can we get a Rhyno/Bull match? Despite his size Bull can move pretty good, and it looked the same for Rhyno…might be a good match at the end of the day.
I really want to see Adrian Neville get called up and take on some of the big boys. Frankly, his character could be less Mighty Mouse and more like an American…er…British…unmasked luchador. With his flips and strength he could just out-meneuver and over-power his competition. I’m liking him more and more. Kevin Steen isn’t much of a seller is he? I’m not saying that he needs to be in the Dolph Ziggler school of selling like Zayn is, but at least make it look like you’re a LITTLE hurt.
Last but not least. Dunno if anyone listens to Grantland’s Cheap Heat podcast, but my question of “Which documentary do you wish the network would do” made it on air! I’m like…famous or whatever 
From Full Sail University, we travel across the continent to Boyle Heights and the Temple.
*I’m a little surprised that Matt had to ask Vampiro what relation Chavo is to Hector Guerrero. Vampiro’s commentary has improved the last few episodes - last week he got really passionate when he was talking about the early years of AAA and his feuds with Konnan. The opening match did a great job telling a story - like the Undertaker without his urn, Mil Muertes is robbed of power when Catarina is absent, and when she returns with that black stone he’s so hypnotized that he doesn’t even feel Chavo hit him with a chair. The two of them definitely have a love/hate relationship at this point, and with the intervention of Fenix, this feud is getting really interesting. (Side fact that I learned recently; Fenix and Pentagon Jr. are brothers in real life.)
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Anjelico practically plays the heel in his match with Ivellise, refusing to fight a woman and trying to flirt with her instead. The guy has range as a performer. Looks like she and Son of Havoc are starting to turn face due to the crowd reactions.
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Looks like they’re setting up for Alberto El Patron to actually defend the AAA world title in LU. El Texano Jr., as Striker has mentioned, is the former world champion who Alberto beat for the title in December, and, as you might surmise from his name and his ring gear, he’s the most despicable kind of evil foreigner you can imagine - an American. Vampiro interviews him in Spanish, which is a nice touch. I’m surprised Superfly is still wearing the mask in their match - he was unmasked in AAA in December, and they’re usually really strict about not letting wrestlers put the mask back on once they’ve been unmasked.
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Cage is gonna get his heart ripped out on a sacrificial altar if he keeps treating the gold of the seven tribes like that.
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Things aren’t looking good for Black Lotus. Who bagged her while she was talking to Dario’s monster? I can’t wait to find out.
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A trios match! I’ve been waiting for one of these since the show started. In WWE a match like this would be a throwaway comedy match, but here, you can have a street gang fight a woman, a midget, and a middle-aged drag queen and it gets treated like *serious business. The tecnicos put up a valiant effort, but they’re outclassed from the start - until the arrival of Ryck Fury, whose arrival allows Sexy Star to steal one. Dario’s not gonna be happy with the Crew next week.
Two great shows this week - I have to give Lucha Underground the win on this one, for setting up so many great storylines going forward.
Ryck Fury. Why didn’t I think of that?
Behind the scenes, Chavo is one of the executive producers of the show, and I’ve read that he’s responsible for storyboarding a lot of the actual matches, so I assume he’s not legit quitting the show.
Just wanna say how consistently mad I am that I don’t get the wonder that is LU
Shit just got real. Jon Stewart calls out Seth Rollins for dissing the Daily Show.
Will this lead to a WM appearance I wonder?
Can he come to the ring and have his wrestling name be Splinters?
At least until it gets shut down, El Rey appears to be available on this Sling TV thing, which I don’t really know much of anything about. But there it is. There’s also a ton of content available on YouTube.
The Crew established themselves in a single match as the smartest heel team in all of wrestling: Faced with a no-DQ match, they didn’t line up in their corner and tag in and out like any other match–they all three started immediately taking it to whichever of the babyfaces they could isolate, putting their numbers to use from the beginning. How the ref kept track of who the legal man was for purposes of who could get the pin, I don’t know.
¡Viva el Jefe!
/joel.gertner: “It is I, the quintessential studmuffin, Joel ‘this girl I know wanted to see the show, live here in Connecticut, so I told her to bend over, and I’d show her where I’d stick it. For forty-five minutes, she proceeded to tease and please and lick it, but when all was said and done, you know I made her buy a ticket’ Gertner.”
Smackdown was really ordinary this week. All the ones who usually lose lost, and all the ones who usually win won. There were no WOW moments. Of course, the IC champ lost, and not even Ambrose could stifle the yawns, because he had to be a good little drone and make the IC sound important.
Cole and Lawler tried their best to make Byron Saxton more of a heel, but he’s the most vanilla bean of vanilla beans. He doesn’t say anything provocative or objectionable. Say what you will about JBL, but he’ll make you dislike him, kayfabe or no. WWE needs to give the above quoted Joel Gertner the job. He was ECW’s heel announcer and had no problems with the role. He’s such a unrepentant slimeball he can make OJ Simpson look good*.
Things didn’t really pick up until the Zig/Rollins match, and even then Rollins can’t win without help. Is this leading to a 5-vs-3 match as Fastlane? If so, did they not announce it because nobody cares? No wonder it’s free. It’s just going to be a lead-in to WM.
Speaking of which, my FL predictions: Stardust over Golddust, Kidd & Cesaro win the titles from the Usos, Nikki over Paige, BNB over Ambrose, Cena over Rusev by DQ/countout, leading to a rematch at WM, Bryan & Reigns nonfinish because Brrrrrock destroys them both, leading to a Triple Threat at WM. Hunter & Sting will somehow resolve into a match between the two at WM. Fastlane should just be renamed “Wrestlemania Pre-Show”.
- Which he did before in when he introduced himself as Joel ‘The biggest ladykiller in Buffalo since OJ Simpson’ Gertner."
I thought Smackdown was pretty decent.
Liked the Ambrose/BNB spot because Ambrose was surprisingly good on the mike. I mean, we all knew he could talk, but theres a difference between cutting some wicked promo in the ring or backstage, and doing it on commentary.
I liked your analysis of Byron Saxton. I always said I try to hate him, but he’s so soft spoken and nice that I just want him to marry my daughter.
The thing I noticed about Smackdown was that they didn’t announce any matches other than the main event (which actually was announced in house Monday, dunno if it went on air). Things just kind of happened.
I don’t like that Smackdown is on Thursdays because I’m a loser and don’t do anything Friday nights, and now I’m bored.
If you get AXS, there’s an NJPW highlights show that’s supposed to be pretty good…
Just because this is only the PPV between the Rumble and 'Mania doesn’t mean that I am giving any less effort to my predictions unlike SOME people who shall remain nameless coughknowedoutcough.
Goldy/Stardutht: This should only be a decent match, because I think the better payoff will happen at Mania. I think Starry will go over his brother for now, he gets even more crazy, and Goldy wants it to stop. It’s eventually going to end up at 'Mania, character vs. career match where GOldy ends up winning, Starry becomes Cody again, and Goldy goes off into the sunset. My only real hesitation with this storyline is that I would assume Goldy would want to put his brother over before he retires.
Boo-sos vs Team Upper-Cat: Usos will win this one because I think it’s their destiny to be fed to the Ascension. Which is fine with me since I don’t mind the guys and think some heels could live with the belt for a while, it’s been ALL faces since the Outlaws took it from the pre-weirdo Dust Bros.
Nikki vs Paige: My biggest wildcard of the night cuz I wouldn’t be surprised either way. I think that Nikki will keep the belt because then she can defend it at 'Mania against…I dunno…Paige again prolly. Dropping the belt to Paige would at least open up the chance for new feuds but…whatever
BNB vs Ambrose: Wildcard number 2, but I think a bit more predictable because I don’t think that BNB drops it this quickly. I wouldn’t be totally surprised if Ambrose gets this, but my prediction would be that Ambrose loses to BNB and then moves over to a Rollins feud at 'Mania because their matches are so perfect and it fits for 'Mania.
Cena vs Rusev: Oh lord I just don’t care. We all know how much this feud angers me, but I’m gonna go ahead and say Rusev wins by shenanigans and on to 'Mania
Trips/Sting Face off: I don’t know how this can go if it’s not a match. I’m betting that Sting comes in and they talk all normal like, Trips has Sting Ambushed who takes a bunch of bumps, and then someone (prolly Cena cuz why not?) comes to save the day, then the road to Wrestlemania ends up being Trips saying how great he is and Sting challenging him.
Roman Reigns vs Daniel Bryan: Based on the end of RAW I think this match will end up being really good. The story of the match should be a wrestling match turned brawl and it should end with each guy just throwing (figurative) haymakers at each other. Personally, I can’t see a triple-threat match happening at 'Mania again, so I think Reigns goes over clean after a great match that doesn’t piss the crowd off too terribly much.
If they play their cards right this could be another good 'Mania they pulled out of their ass
I think the whole Reigns - DBD thing was a setup to get DBD in the picture to placate fans, but also give Reigns a seasoned veteran with a ton of skills to work with to help teach him and get him over a bit more before he moves on to the Wrestemania main event. As such it isn’t a bad plan.
We know that unless there is a breakthrough and Brock signs a new contract, he’ll be gone and therefore Reigns would have to win. BUT, there’s absolutely no incentive for WWE to give us any indication whether or not Brock will re-sign, and for all we know, he already has a new contract. Not knowing keeps the mystery. If we know he isn’t staying, we know Reigns wins, and having everyone know that isn’t ‘best for business’.
My only question would be how we get to a Bryan - Ziggler match for Wrestlemania. I would really hope that it would not be a heel turn/join the Authority thing for Ziggler. I’d rather see it be a battle between them for the #1 contender spot.
Eh, I could write this segment in my sleep.
Sting says he hates authority figures who use their power to screw everybody over, and he didn’t put up with it from Eric Bischoff or Dixie Carter and he came to WWE because he’s tired of Triple H pulling the same shenanigans.
Triple H says Sting represents WCW and he killed WCW, and Sting is only here now because he wants to get into the Hall of Fame.
They agree to a stipulation match at 'Mania - if Sting wins the Authority is disbanded forever, if Triple H wins Sting can never be inducted into the Hall of Fame.
I agree on your second point. bout the only way you can have a big match between faces and keep them faces.