Any WWE fans in the audience? (Part 1)

In my defense, I was uninspired because NXT and LU had already blown my mind the night before. This ep of SD was more of a bridge, which is understandable since they don’t want to do anything too radical before the PPV. Maybe they’ve got some surprises in store. Maybe Sheamus and Randy Orton will pop out of the woodwork and fuck shit up. Maybe they’ll do something awesome with the Advent of Sting, like have 500 lookalikes form a giant crow. I just want Roman Reigns to remain a brooding menace, not be the next face of Fruity Pebbles.

ETA: New Six-man match has taken form. Authority tools Seth, BS and Kane vs the Cena 3: Zig, Ryback and Rowan. I’ll go with the Cena 3, possibly getting help from Sheamus and Orton getting revenge on the Author-it-tie.

Question: Does Kevin Owens get called up to the main show before Sami Zayn?

Right now I’m kinda thinking he does.

Hmm…

I am assuming they’ll just go chalk and have a team go over the other (I’m thinking Cena 3 wins), but if they do have interference I can only see a returning heel RKO coming back only to be thwarted by a returning face Sheamus. Unless they reverse that? Have a seemingly face Sheamus come to help, but hurt…pull a Hollywood Hogan but not nearly as dramatic.

Or the same time. It’s played out, but they could do a wicked NXT Takeover run and the NXT guys could seriously hold their own.

I dunno, I’m thinking Triple H brings in KO as a The Authority enforcer, since Kane and BS are messing things up. KO can still give the same “doing this for my family” routine. Would be even better if he refused to take orders from Rollins, Kane or anyone but Triple H.

I’m a bit surprised that anyone could be arsed to write up predictions for this card. If El Jefe throws on a LU marathon against it, I may well watch that instead. Just cannot bring myself to care about any of it.

From what I’ve read, the suits in Stamford are really big on KO because he’s apparently been successful in getting fans of his indie work to follow him to WWE.

I really can’t stand John Cena, but his appearance on Parks & Recreation was fantastic. Worth checking out!

Yeah, funny when he squealed like a girl at the end.

I just realized James Franco and Seth Rollins have the same voice.

Watching ROH. Think I have once before, a couple of years ago. Who is the Dr. Mrs. The Monarch sounding color guy?

The usual commentators are Kevin Kelly (on the right), who called Raw alongside Maggle and JR in the late '90s, and Steve Corino (on the left), an ECW original who’s been involved with RoH in one way or another for most of its history.

Wow, I didnt know all that. I heard years ago one guy said they basically just ad-libed the whole match with only the final outcome (winner) being pre-determined. The ref was there to relay information and the promoter sat ringside and would give signals to the ref about the match . Ex. 5 more minutes, wrap it up, go for the finale, etc…

One guy told me when he wrestled Rick Flair it was fairly ad-libbed but Rick lead most of the match. Rick slapping him on the back meant it was time to let Rick do the setup for his figure-4 finish.

He said he was paid $10,000 for that match.

It’s too bad about Ric Flairs son committing suicide. He just couldnt deal with being in his fathers shadow. Like when he was wrestling in high school when an opponent would beat him they would do his Dad’s “Woooo” and otherwise drive him crazy.

Did anyone see Flairs final match - retrospective when they brought back all those old wrestlers like the 4 Horsemen?

I think you’re talking about Truth Martini. He subbed for Steve Corino on that show, then left to manage Jay Lethal in the final match. His stable is known as the “House of Truth.”

Have the contrasting chants thing always been around in wrestling?

Let’s go Cena…Cena sucks

Sasha’s Ratchet…no she’s not

Let’s go (someone)…Let’s go (someone else)

These are fun and I haven’t noticed em too much in the past year (other than cena) but now it seems like its the new fun thing to do

Cena loses by dirty tactics to carry the feud to Wrestlemania, where SuperCena gets his revenge.

As far as this show goes, I’d say “You get what you pay for”, but the Network was free this month, so…

If this was supposed to get me excited about Wrestlemania it failed. Geriatric Sting vs “WWE Icon” Triple HHH? Straight from the old folks home Undertaker vs Bray Wyatt? Daniel Bryan shuffled back to the midcard? Big Slow and Kane vs The Usual Subjects? Rematches between Ambrose/BNB, Usos/Cessaro and the other guy, Cena/Rusev and Bella/Paige? The Rhodeseseses? Soon to be back in MMA Brock Lesnar vs The Chosen One? BLAH. A big stinking card of BLAH!

If they make Triple H vs. Sting the main event, it’ll at least save the trainwreck that Roman vs. Brock is destined to be from getting universally shat upon.

The problem isn’t that the card is blah, it’s that we saw the entire card save for two matches literally tonight.

Other than terrible endings the matches themselves weren’t bad, and the matchups themselves aren’t bad…it’s just we are supposed to be excited for matches that were all resolved tonight. I just don’t really even care anymore about these…I’ve seen every match 1000 times…

Not as much as it has been for Cena. Back in the past, the promoters did not want to break kayfabe, ever. Heels weren’t supposed to be cheered, so when it happened, they’d direct the cameras away or overdub the chants with generic crowd noise. The rasslers in the meantime went through the motions and tried to pretend otherwise.

Now that they’ve all but admitted it’s all fake, they look at any heat as good heat, even if it does go against the grain. I remember listening to Steve Austin interview James Storm, and he lamented that heels were getting cheered. It’s his job to get negative feedback, and heels consider it a badge of honor to get pelted by debris from the audience.

Anyhoo, on to Fastlane. I can’t say it sucked. I can say it was flawed in some parts, but no performance is 100% perfect.

D-Bry vs Roman
Pro: I thought they did a good job of making it seem like Roman Reigns was out of his league for most of the match, and he’s good at the few things he does.
Con: I don’t *like *it, but it’s because I think D-Bry is much more deserving of a title shot with Brrrock and can deliver a much better match. But they could do worse than RR.

Team Authority vs Team Cena
Pro: I’m looking forward to the Orton/Rollins feud. Rollins will be the brash young loudmouth, Orton will be the grizzled veteran fed up with Seth’s cockiness, and he’s got a huge ax to grind with the Authority. Much RKO from nowhere will ensue.
Con: Zig gets shit on again. The glory from SS has faded and he’s back to JTTS status.
Side note: Why did they have to make Rollins vs Jon Stewart look serious? His original video was much funnier.

Ambrose vs Barrett
Pro: Well, they slug each other pretty good.
Con: BNB has already been made to look weak with the non-title losses, and doubly so with the escape attempts. The ending was uninspired, stupid and lame. Ambrose gets DQed because he stomped on Wade too much? Since when does that ever happen? This is setting up a rematch in a cage or with lumberjacks, and Barrett’s really not on Ambrose’s level. Winning the IC belt would be a step down for Dean, and hugely contradictory to his rebel image. Creative is trying to make this look more important by having Dean be the obsessed IC historian, but they’ve already made the belt look like a flea market tzotchke.

Paige vs Bella
Pro: Paige in fishnets
Con: Bella doesn’t have much in-ring intelligence. Paige was obviously setting herself up to take shots from Bella, but the latter kept blowing it.

Usos vs Cesaro and the Kidd
Pro: I liked the way C&K kept countering and outsmarting the Usos, and all the back-and-forth action. Plenty of signature money shots to pop the crowd.
Fact: I’m looking forward to Kidd gloating.

Don’t Call Me Cody vs hhhhfffffffff Golddust
Pro: Lots and lots of reversals, maybe too much for the audience to keep track.
Con: Ending was kind of “huh”? The ref didn’t hit the mat for the third count, and it looked like DCMC was supposed to kick out but had a brain fart. DCMC is a cool cat, but for some reason his solo efforts just kind of deflate. Not really interested in where this is going. The Stardust gimmick is too derivative of Goldy and 60’s comic book villains.

Cena vs Rusev
Pro: Gotta hand it to Cena for putting over Rusev. He even made Jack Swagger’s losses look not-so-bad in comparison. He got to make his signature comebacks, but still bow to Rusev’s might.
Con: The pity party that will ensue. Cena let down America, Cena disappointed the faithful, boo hoo, speech speech speech, blavadablavadablavada. Will make for lots of fast forwarding.