Any WWE fans in the audience? (Part 1)

The Game Room
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Yeah, we’re doomed to a month of bad promos from Cena where he talks about letting us down but how he’ll overcome the odds at Wrestlemania. :smack:

And it’s a foregone conclusion - absolutely zero doubts (and zero fucks given for that matter) that he’ll win at Wrestlemania. Hell, we’d be better off if Lesnar defeated Reigns, Rusev defeated Cena, and we went to the next PPV with Lesnar-Rusev. But there’s no way both heels win at the tent pole showand face each other at the next PPV.

Fact: Glad Cesaro-Tyson won. Tyson deserves it, Cesaro deserves better.

Reigns-Lesnar will likely be a clusterfuck. Reigns isn’t experienced enough to call/lead a good match, which is pretty much what Lesnar needs to have a good showing.

They kept talking about the MitB briefcase and about how Seth Rollins could cash in “at any time”. Um, not when the champion only appears 4 times a year…

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Bet $5 Reigns wins at Wrestlemania, then the next night, The Authority shows up en-masse to assault him in the ring, leave him laying, and then Rollins cashes in to steal the belt. Followed by months of Reigns chasing Rollins with lots of hijinks.

I also would not be surprised to see Sting beat Triple H, then Show and Kane come down to beat him down, then Ziggler/Ryback/Rowan and maybe even DBD come down to make the save. Queue several more months of these guys being kept out of anything more important.

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My overall take on the PPV was great matches with shitty endings that ultimately made everything pointless.

I already said above that since it’s obvious this “ppv” is just a retarded filler until 'Mania that the matches themselves meant nothing, but the way the matches were constructed was also terrible and ruined a lot for me:

6-man tag: Why must they do this match 100,000 times? Literally nothing new or interesting happened

Goldy/Starry: Liking Cody’s new ring gear! I think they took him out of the Lycra to further differentiate him from Goldy, but I like the way he looked. Even the slimmer/longer/pesudo-Batman gloves were pretty cool. A super weird ending for this, was Goldy even supposed to win? or did Cody not kick out? What’s up with this one?

Boo-sos vs. Team Uppercat: Arguably the best match of the night. The action was consistent, there were good spots, nothing seemed terrible, and it ended in a neat and believable way. Good for Uppercats for getting some gold…they deserve it

Paige/Nikki: I only half watched this because of the Oscars. But, seriously, the match ended on a face-smash to the turnbuckle? No torture rack, no interference, just a boring run-of-the-mill move? What??

Ambrose vs BNB: A slow and plodding match that used none of Ambrose’s talents, showed a cowardly BNB from out of nowhere, and this match ended as a DQ for kicking? Yawn and stupid

Rusev vs Cena: A SURPRISINGLY GOOD MATCH. Oh, sorry, was I calling out my spot too loud and obviously? Cena’s barking of spots nonwithstanding this was a good back and forth that saw a lot of near-falls after some usually match-ending moves. It was back and forth action! Submissions! kicking out of AAs! and it ended…from a kick to the nuts? You couldn’t just show Rusev as strong? Try and bill him as an even more unstoppable monster for Cena to conquer? Nope. Just cheating because Rusev needs to cheat since he loses oh-so-much.

Bryan vs Reigns: I think Reigns looked really good during this match actually, and like the way it was written. Bryan controlled most of it, but the Reigns would just nail him with his power and then Bryan would have to start all over again. The spots were clean, each guy showed a good amount of athleticism…and then it ended on a [Michael Cole]SPEAR!! SPEAR!!! SPEAR!!! SPEAR!!![/Michael Cole]. A spear? Seriously? That’s not even his finishing move really, the superman punch is. So after all of that battling…it was just a damn spear that ended it

Sting and Trips: I missed like half of this cuz my damn feed kept freezing, but it seemed fun. I’ll see all the clips tonight I’m sure…

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Here’s a recap.

HHH: I destroyed WCW. Nyahh nyahh nya nyahh nyahh.

Sting: …

HHH: You were the last rat to desert a sinking ship. Loser.

Sting: …

HHH: Tell you what. Join up with me. Feel the power of the dark side. Together we will rule the universe as father and son.

Sting: …

HHH: Ooooh, you make me so mad for thinking you can come here and undermine me!

Sting: …

HHH: I’ll show you! Put up your dukes, you rapacious rapscallion!

They tussle, HHH beats Sting down to the mat, HHH goes outside and retrieves his sledgehammer from under the ring, comes back in, Sting presses a bat to his throat, and backs HHH to the corner.

HHH: Oooh! Your light aluminum baseball bat is obviously superior to my massive skull-crushing sledgehammer, so I’ll drop my weapon to show there are no hard feelings.

Sting: …

HHH: Prophet! Thing of evil!—prophet still, if bird or devil!—
Whether Tempter sent, or whether tempest tossed thee here ashore,
Desolate yet all undaunted, on this desert land enchanted—
On this home by Horror haunted—tell me truly, I implore—
Is there—is there balm in Gilead?—tell me—tell me, I implore!

Sting points at the WM sign.

HHH: What? No! Anything but that! When I said I’ll destroy you, I meant that figuratively! Please, no Wrestlemania! I didn’t mean all those bad things I said! I was just smack talkin’, bro!

Sting points at the WM sign again.

HHH: Good Spirit! Your nature intercedes for me, and pities me. Assure me that I yet may change these shadows you have shown me, by an altered life!

Sting keeps pointing at the WM sign.

HHH: Oh, all right.

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That. Was. Beautiful.

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Quick hits on RAW before I get breakfast and head to manic-meeting Tuesday:

  • Why’d Cody go back to his bodysuit? He looked SO much better on Sunday. I also enjoy that the second, literally the second, the Patriot Lock was put on he writhed around and tapped out. I’m pretty sure your body doesn’t even process pain that fast. Also loved the Cody chants that caused him to freak out

  • No Diva love at all for the night huh? How long was that match? 45 seconds? And other than the Nattie/Naomo spot there was no love for the chicas

  • Good promo by Reigns. Call me crazy/marky/a kool-aid drinker…but I’m not minding him the last 2 weeks or so. His in-ring work has gotten better, his promos have gotten WAY better, and his story is actually a little bit compelling. Probably because of the DB rub, but I don’t think the match between him and Brock is going to be that bad

  • Good win by the Primetime Players. Maybe they’ll do a reversal on the poor New Day and have this be the black tag-team group.

  • Speaking of black people, what’s R-Truth doin nowadays? Being relevant? Whaaaaaaattt? Are they going to graduate Ambrose to Zigs and have a BNB/Truth feud?

  • Hey how 'bout that potential Zigs/Ambrose feud? It’s no where near what Ambrose and Rollins would be, but this shouldn’t be too bad

  • I’m pretty neutral right now with RKO returning. I’m just not marking out as much as I thought I would, but then again I think that’s maybe because he’s being a face and I think that he’s going to be a pretty marginal face…even if it’s against king heel Rollins.

  • I never watched them, but the Bushwackers seem really really stupid.

Ok that’s it for now, I’m hungry.

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/lana: внимание, внимание… Your Roman Reigns is greatest athlete ever. He is better than Rusev. He is better than Nikita Koloff. He is even better than VLAD uh meer POO tin.

There. I have said it. Give to me my zillion rubles now.

Great Og, can the Roman god worship please STOP already?

D-Bry comes out to declare himself RR’s chief bootlicker and bff. Paul Heyman comes out and 99% percent of what he says licks Roman’s asshole inside and out. I ff’ed through most of the other speeches, but they probably proclaimed him the 2nd Coming as well. The fast-forwarding probably took more time than the matches.

OK, they’re putting Orton back with the Authority so there will be a drama-filled implosion later on, I assume. I’ll be waiting with baited breath. I’m actually looking forward to the Orton/Rollins clash, even though the Authoritits will be moored at Rollins’s berth like mutated ducklings. Everybody gets to be in WM, even if it’s to carry someone else’s jock strap.

IC champ loses again. Why would ANYBODY want this career-sucking belt? Now they’re setting up a four-way. No, take that back. They’re setting up a regular match where two guys get knocked out of the ring and lie on the floor while two other guys go at it. I’m going to go ahead and predict that R-Troof will win the IC title at WM and become the new jobber with a belt. BRING BACK LITTLE JIMMY!

The Oowah Soes and Cesaro/Kidd have the match of the night again, albeit with little competition. We will now have a 6-person match for WM as de bitches get in dey faces. Millions of Dollahs beat the Asucktion as Darren Young finds out that beards = wins. The Divas match lasts as long as it took for Don’t-Call-Me-Cody to tap out to The Real Amerakun. Rybaxle took slightly longer. Combined, the three matches take less than 4 minutes. Must have promo time. Bray’s gotta put on a Halloween show and not mention UT.
*
DEPP!*

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STC: The [del]Sheepfuckers[/del] Bush Whackers were pretty much comedy jobbers, but they actually had decent careers prior to WWF.

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Didn’t watch (I am, in fact, close to unplugging from all main roster product for a few years), but I am going to guess: Saying “WHAT’S UP”, rapping badly, and generally being an annoying twit.

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Frankly, Vince’s stubborn obsession with putting Roman over come hell or high water is just baffling at this point. He’s abandoned pushes because the guy didn’t get over fast enough. He’s abandoned pushes because the guy got injured and missed a few weeks. He’s abandoned pushes because the guy wasn’t ready. He’s abandoned pushes because he got distracted by someone with a comedy dancing gimmick.

And yet, here’s Roman Reigns, who it’s clear is not going to be getting Hogan pops at 'Mania, and he keeps throwing everything he can think of at the viewer practically begging us to love him as much as he apparently does, to the point that it’s starting to hurt the credibility of everyone else around Roman.

Having Bryan come out and say “Gosh and golly gee, Mr. Reigns, you sure did beat me dead to rights and I’ll be your BFF if you can whip that mean old Brock Lesnar for all us B-plus players out there” doesn’t make Roman look strong, it makes Bryan look like a jobber, because we’ve seen Reigns in action and we know the reality doesn’t meet the hype. Having Paul Heyman say that Roman could beat Hulk Hogan or the Undertaker or the ghost of Georg Hackenschmidt doesn’t make Roman look strong, it makes Heyman look like he’s talking out of his ass. (Hell, you can almost pinpoint the instant where he realizes that what he’s doing isn’t helping.) I don’t know if this match is going to get Goldberg/Lesnar levels of heat from the crowd, but at this point I’m expecting pretty much dead silence like we got Sunday night, because the crowd knows exactly what’s going to happen whether they like it or not.

And then there’s the Ascension. Hunter spent over a year building these guys up in NXT as dominant champions. They went over the entire roster, looked like unstoppable badasses doing it, and went out on their backs in a match where they still finished looking strong. Then they come to the main roster - and get silly costumes, cut promos about how they’re better than tag teams that broke up before the target audience was born, squash a bunch of ham & eggers that nobody has ever heard of and so nobody cares when they lose, get beaten up by a bunch of old men, and then get their first loss to the Prime Time Players, a jobber team that’s only back together because the attempt at applying the Rockers treatment to them didn’t work and releasing Darren Young would be bad PR. It’s almost as if Vince thinks NXT is his competitor and he needs to bury their talent to prove he’s better than them.

Oh, and apparently, Team Cena and Team Authority are having another rematch on Smackdown. Because we really still need closure from Survivor Series.

(On the plus side, though, at least the Prime Time Players are back together. MILLIONS OF DOLLARS! MILLIONS OF DOLLARS! MILLIONS OF DOLLARS!)

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Probably afraid of pissing off Rock and the Anoa’i Family if they de-push him after promising him half the solar system.

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“Don’t worry, Dwayne! Just run out there at the end of the Rumble and hold your cousin’s hand up! The crowd’ll love it! What could possibly go wrong?”

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“We’ve had Rock and Daniel Bryan endorse this guy and half the crowd still shits all over him. Let’s send Paul Heyman out there to make him sound like the second coming of Christ!”

“Brilliant, Vince! You still got it!”

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Anybody know what happened backstage on Raw last night? Rumors involving a Lesner incident…?

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All I’ve read is that he was scheduled to appear and he was backstage, but they didn’t use him and nobody’s talking as to why.

How hilarious would it be if Brock decided to pull a CM Punk at this point and Vince’s dream match had to be rebooked?

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Starting to sound like Randy Orton is about ready to pull a Punk.

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In other news, Solomon Crowe helped rescue a woman from an overturned SUV yesterday.

[QUOTE=Solomon Crowe]
I didn’t even think. When I saw it, I was wearing sandals, and I just took off in a full sprint toward the car. I knew especially if a car’s upside down like that, it can catch fire very easily, and whoever was in it, we wanted to get them out.
[/QUOTE]

What a guy.

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From cagesideseats.com 's Rumor Roundup:

So, not too helpful.

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HAHAHAHAAA!

RR is a NXT product, and Vince has definitely got a hard-on for him.

Maybe Vince is trying to attract former fans by invoking favorites from 20-30 years ago. That’s what they’re doing with the IC belt while simultaneously making it a joke. He probably hears about people saying they stopped watching when so-and-so left, so he’s trying to assimilate The Asucktion with past glory.

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This is the latest blurb I’ve seen;

[QUOTE=PWInsider]
According to those who saw him backstage yesterday, Lesnar was obviously angry about something and one source claimed he walked out of the taping before it ended.

There are different stories making the rounds, but PWInsider.com has been told it was not something on the creative end that set Lesnar off, but something regarding his business relationship with WWE. No one we spoke with was willing to elaborate beyond that, but several made it clear it had nothing to do with any planned booking.

Vince McMahon acknowledged the issue during a Smackdown production meeting today, a source claimed, but did not elaborate on the issue. Lesnar has returned home to Minnesota and is not backstage at Smackdown.

Lesnar is not advertised to appear again for WWE until the 3/9 Raw taping in Pittsburgh, PA, which gives WWE several weeks to work out whatever the issue is.

[/QUOTE]

Wild speculation; WWE has Brock scheduled for more dates than his contract requires him to appear for, and he’s asking for more money, and he walked because they wouldn’t give him what he wanted.

Brock has been pretty open about the fact that he’s only in it for the money these days, so it doesn’t surprise me that he’d be willing to bail if Vince won’t give him what he thinks he’s worth.

Whether they can settle their differences in time for 'Mania is really in Vince’s court, IMO.