I went to the store for milk and bought a bag of bagels. Which, thanks to IWF, becomes a “Baggle”.
“Put some cream cheese on the that baggle!”
What a weird RAW that was
It was almost like a Parade of Stars since they had about 1000 matches that lasted 5 min each, no promos, and nothing really that interesting happened.
Neville and Zigs put on a good match (which is to be expected), and did anyone else catch that MAGGLE called him “Adrian Neville”?
The Promo of the Night award goes to Naomi. I couldn’t be LESS interested in “Female Black Stereotype A”, but I loved her mini-heel turn on Paige and her interview afterwards had a lot of good points in them. So much so that I gchatted Ms. Cups and said “What? A good promo that shows story progression and a character arc? Watch out WWE you’re starting to write!” Maybe she’ll end up being a face with motivation
A called a cage match a while ago between RKO and Rollins on the grounds that they haven’t had a cage match in a while and we were due. Kinda dumb that Rollins’ stipulation was no RKO.
Anyone care to fill me in on what exactly is a Russian Chain Match?
I assume it’s just a strap match by another name.
Whoever pulls the other guy and touches all four corners wins.
So when Cena wins, Rusev can get all mad and hang him over the ropes with the chain around his neck, extending the feud through the next few weeks of house shows.
I was afraid of that… (NWA Russian Chain matches were just ordinary matches where the two wrestlers were connected to a steel chain.)
Let me guess what will happen:
(a) Rusev touches a turnbuckle; Cena, right behind him, touches it as well, without Rusev seeing it
(b) Repeat (a) for the next two turnbuckles
(c) Lana tries to interfere with Cena touching the last turnbuckle first, but somehow bumps into Rusev, and Cena touches it just before Rusev does, making Cena the winner.
This is not a Vince McMahon idea by any stretch of the imagination, mind you.
Why can’t they change the rules of these things - the first person to touch all four turnbuckles without the opponent touching one between the first and fourth touchings is the winner?
So this week’s Smackdown taping is happening in London right now, and they’ve just announced a new match for Extreme Rules, which I’ll spoiler for all two of you who are actually planning on watching Smackdown;
[SPOILER] Sheamus vs. Neville.
In a “Kiss Me Arse” match, where, presumably, the loser will be obligated to place his lips upon the buttocks of the winner. [/SPOILER]
Gotta say, this does not fill me with hope for the current direction creative is taking with the newer talent.
I have no problems with the pairing, it’s the damn gimmick that I don’t like there
It follows; Location Object Descriptor.
Tampa Street Fight
Russian Chain Match
Same difference.
According to Meltzer Daniel Bryan is in a bad way. They’re trying to protect him by putting him in tag matches. Don’t be surprised if he drops the IC strap soon.
On London RAWing, the locals got to represent and lose. Even though Paige won, she still got punked. Nevil vs Ziggy blew da roof off da house, though. Just think, it could have been Zig vs Mighty Mouse.
Darren Young just about came out on RAW. “Rainbows! My favorite color!” I’m guessing with the advent of the Lucha Dragons, Los Matadores are about to drop their gimmick, with the way Titus O’Neal said they were Puerto Ricans. Maybe El Torito will xfer to LU?
Big Show throwing Romeigns into the prop car reminded me of a similar angle he did years ago with Eddie Guerrero years ago. Guerrerro took some huge bumps from Show like getting choke slammed through a windshield. OK, maybe not through the windshield, but I definitely remember shattering of the glass.
Extreme Rules might be worth it for the impending match between Ambrose and Harper. It’s sure to involve some plundah. WWE’s been flirting with PG-14 territory a teensy bit with all the blading lately, so I’m sure these two will figure out a way to work in some Crimson Mask work.
I don’t get what this means “in a bad way”
He’s injured still? He made management mad? They’re coddling him to overprotect him?
Pray tell expand on this
*It’s been reported recently that Daniel Bryan has been suffering through some health issues related to the neck injury that cost him the WWE world heavyweight championship in the months after WrestleMania 30. It’s been bad enough, in fact, that the company was protecting him by booking him in tag matches throughout its tour of Europe.
Now, he’s been pulled from the tour altogether.
Indeed, WWE confirmed as much with the following statement:
“Daniel Bryan has been pulled from the remainder of the UK tour as a precautionary measure.”*
DB’s lingering injury is probably why he was taken out of main event status in the first place, and not because WWE was purposely trying to bury him. We don’t know what truly goes on behind the scenes, but maybe both DB and WWE rushed his return before full recovery. It would suck to take him out of action again, but we don’t need another Perro Aguayo incident.
*BAWANGAWANAANNNNGGGHHH
BAANNNHHHH*
Another thing I like about LU: the head authority figure is just an actor. He has no conflict of interest issues and no actual power to put himself or any of the workers over. That’s part of what doomed WCW and led WWE to its numerous low points - the head writers, bookers and promoters wanted to put themselves in the spotlight purely for the sake of ego. Dario Cueto (really Luis Fernandez-Gil) can just focus on speaking his lines and projecting a villainous aura. None of the actual show runners are working themselves into the spotlight, and that’s a good thing.
Another difference between WWE and LU: the behind-the-scenes segues. WWE sets up a few curtains, hangs up some posters, and shoves in some furniture and potted plants. The principle players speak their lines, some disagreement ensues, and a match is set up. For LU, it’s more of a movie set with shadows, yellow filters, and foggy backgrounds, like a shady deal is about to be made. In this case, Drago and Aerostar are about to have their 5th and final match, and Dario speaks to both behind the scenes, manipulating them to hate and be envious of each other. WWE is too bright and shiny by comparison.
What the fuck is Drago using in his mouth? He looks like he’s spewing oil, but it turns out to be some kind of semisolid tongue appendage, and he somehow keeps it in his mouth the whole match.
Aerostar dresses in white with some kind of glittery effect. When he does his high dives, he looks like he’s gliding, like a ghost. An overhead shot makes it look like he’s levitating.
Very intense match between the two, with Drago pulling out a pinning combination that looks like a stop-motion film of a vine encircling a tree limb. Cueto informs him that his Unique Opportunity ™ is a championship match, but if he loses, he’s banned from LU forever. Cueto again turns friends into enemies.
In actuality, these guys are going back to their home feds when their LU roles are done, and keeping them masked and speechless gives viewers less reasons to get attached to them. New awesomeness gets called in to replace them, but I want to see Mascarita again.
Smapti, who was the “celebrity” audience member? He looked like Tom Cruise’s character from Thunder in Paradise, but the announcers acted like he was well known. Maybe he’s a manufactured celebrity, like the “I’ll buy that for a dollar” guy from Robocop.
I need to get back to work, so I’ll let Smapti review the rest of the show.
*BAWANGAWANAANNNNGGGHHH
BAANNNHHHH*
I tried to get into and really LOVE NXT, but the moment CJ Parker walked out I knew it was old, nothing interesting would happen, and I was taken out. I’m going to chalk it up to the fact that there is a bit of a lull period in NXT (cuz of 'Mania), and will give it a while for the next tapings to happen before I really start to get worried about it
CJ Parker vs Solomon Crowe: There’s a reason CJ jobber quit, and this is pretty much it. I mean, Crowe doesn’t have a storyline yet and this is basically a “hey don’t forget this guy exists” match. Crowe wins and then grabs the mic and talks about things that I can’t remember.
Enzo, Cass, Yoko vs. Jobbers: Can’t remember the jobbers’ names, but I know the black guy used to have a “street wise cool guy” gimmick cuz he’s black, now he’s a classic wrestler. I didn’t catch the name of the other guy, but it wasn’t Bagels so I’m angry. Glad to see the Jersey Boys won, it’s been a while. Highlight of the match was the commentary team: “With Blake and Murphy paying attention to Carmella, does that make this a love triangle?” “No, there are five guys…it’s clearly a love pentogram.” HA!
Blue Pants vs Stripper Bitch: Poor Blue Pants. She’s so loved and just loses over and over again. Love everything about her too. Her titantron is just the pants, she’s “from the clearance rack”, Cass doing The Price is Right (do they have to pay for that?), plus she’s hot. Like, really hot. Almost Bayley hot. Who’s the chick who won? Some blonde stripper bimbo bitch. No one cares, I want divas with personality. Another aside, I don’t think that Blue Pants is THAT good of a wrestler just yet…give her more matches and let’s see.
Zayn vs Rhyno: I’m calling him Zayn cuz we all know once he gets called up he’ll lose his first name. A good match overall. I am constantly surprised by just how friggin huge Rhyno is. Did Zayn finish with a Brogue kick? I thought his finisher was the spinny powerbomb thing.
I think NXTs biggest problem right now is that they don’t have any good stories. Lord knows what’s happening with the divas, KO is doing his dumb thing with Riley, Zayn is kinda floating there…Hideo is with breeze I guess. Again, I think we need to see how things are after the next round of tapings
I believe that was Davari, who worked in WWE along with Muhammad Hassan, in TNA, and various other places.
This is, unfortunately, one of the problems with running live events and taped events concurrently - this was filmed a month before WrestleMania, but the commentary has to act like it’s after WrestleMania. Fortunately, next week’s episode is the last one from this batch of tapings, so things ought to catch up pretty soon. The next Takeover is scheduled for May 20th, so we should start seeing the build to that on the episode after next.
It’s also been announced that Mick Foley will be at Full Sail next Friday to do his standup show, and that it’s going to be taped for the Network! I hope WWE doesn’t make him tone it down too much, since his style is pretty adults-only (though he does limit himself to exactly one F-bomb per show) and I don’t think it’d work so well if they forced him to go PG. (It’d ruin most of his jokes about Al Snow, for one.)
I saw a “wwe live” event at Full Sail online and wondered what that was.
Well, WWE is having a TVMA cartoon coming to the network, maybe that’s hope for an uncensored version
I don’t think Foley would have any problem adjusting his standup to PG audiences. He’s won over kids of all ages for years. Plus, the Full Sail crowd is going to be all smarky and 21+, so there’s no reason for WWE to think they need to defang him.