Any WWE fans in the audience? (Part 1)

The Game Room
1862

Quite possibly the line of the evening, right there.

Pay attention! She’s Dana Brooke and they’ve been hyping her like mad for a month or so, presumably on the theory that if they hype her enough, we will all just be like ‘OOOOH, BEWBS!’ and ‘OMG SHE’S TOUCHING HERSELF ALL SEXY LIEK’ and not notice that goose shit wishes it could be as green as she is because we’d all be too busy fapping or something. Just… ugh. OTOH, fair play to NXT booking if they’re trying to get her over as a heel; beating up Blue Pants is cheap heel heat in the women’s division right now.

Also, we have to try not to write Dana (and others like her) off just because they’re green; this is development, and honing the craft is sort of the point. That said, if you’re as green as Dana Brooke is, you have no business being on NXT TV, and you certainly don’t deserve weeks of hype (and not only that, but if you get weeks of hype, it’ll just backfire on you when you don’t deliver). NXT TV should be like AAA ball; not quite ready for the majors, but pretty damn close.

I’m-a just leave this here, man… OL BLUE PANTS

This is one of my Major Minor Lucha Underground Questions. We need a Lucha Underground: Behind the Scenes for that shit. I assume he discreetly passes it off to the referee (Marty Elias, I hope you get a bonus every time you have to touch that thing) off camera, as it’d be a safety issue otherwise.

There was plenty of other good stuff in this installment of Lucha Underground–the trios match in particular was superb, as you would expect, and the impromptu three-way that followed was a nice way to build a little hype for the championship match. And they managed to get Pentagon Jr. some real heel heat by having him go after Melissa Santos. I mean, even Vampiro had to step up and say that shit wasn’t cool. I’ll have to leave it to others who have more knowledge and a closer watch than I did for more–I’ve been sick all week, so wound up watching LU over the course of two nights, one of which I was still pretty sick for.

1863

Confirmed with a little googling (though it’s Daivari, not Davari).

Rather recklessly, I took a look at his Wikipedia page, which indicates that he’ll be showing up on Lucha Underground as a performer before too long–they claim he “debuted” in February 2015, which I assume means a February taping. I’ve no idea how Lucha Underground’s taping schedule lines up with their broadcast schedule.

1864

Female bodybuilder types usually turn me off. I would say the exception is “The Glamazon” Beth Phoenix. The muscles worked for her because she was already a large woman, and she didn’t look freakish. She looked more like a 120% zoom.

1865

I just remembered Finn Balor’s last name is the name of a giant from Irish myth, the one-eyed king of the Fomorians. It took four men to lift his eyelid, which caused anything he looked at to wither.

1866

This just about sums it up, yep.

1867

/lana: внимание внимание… You Americans, you have Secret Service guarding your president Obama always… In Russia, we need no Secret Service because no one shoots Vladimir Putin. Whenever someone brings out gun, every one around try to wrest gun from him and shout “Let me shoot!”

So this Sunday, do you think we’ll see the Kane Mutiny? Yes, I said it. You know they’re going to milk the hell out of that pun repeatedly, so get used to it.

Or, it could be another swerve, teasing dissention within the Authority in order to really trap RKOrton and have Sting save the day again.

RKO OUT OF NOWHERE! Anything that prevents Miz from talking is OK with me. At least Sandow won’t be burdened with his gimmick any longer, but his new one will probably suck and he’ll be a face jobber to keep Zack Ryder and Erick Rowan company.

Speaking of banned holds, another cageside rumor alleges that Seth’s Curb Stomp has been jettisoned. That’s why he used a different finisher on Zig. Uhhhh…why? Too Neo-Nazi? Maybe they’re trying to diffuse the Spoiled Brat personna a bit, which is why they had him apologize to Kane and take Hunter’s advice to accept more challenges.

Now that Bo is back, I see more of the resemblance to Bray Wyatt, his brother irl. They have a similar rhythm to their promo delivery and manic grins underneath a webbing of long black hair. Bo should have been the one to say “Bo-lieve that.” It doesn’t sound funny when Roman says it. It doesn’t sound funny when Roman says anything meant to be humorous. He goofs on Big Show like he’s from Jack and the Beanstalk, fer cryin’ out loud.

Speaking of jokes, how about this one: Noo-hoo Day-hee vs Cesaro & Kidd on a PPV! Brings down the house every time. I’ll watch for Dean Ambrose vs Luke Harper, but little else on the card piques my interest. DB might be sent back to injured reserve, and I really don’t want to see lips contacting arse.

Speaking of teh gay, has anyone seen Dalton Castle from RoH? He is the new flamboyant homosexual of wrestling, and he’s everything Vince McMahon loves. He has two manservants in peacock masks accompany him to the ring and act as his steps. He taunts his opponents with his gayness and gets off some pretty agile moves for someone his height. He’s one of a handful of wrestlers who got over instantly in their debuts. I predict WWE will grab him before the end of the year.

1868

Supposedly, the Curb Stomp smacks of head concussions. I wouldn’t be a bit surprised if this has something to do with either (a) a lawsuit against WWE or (b) Vince wanting to show that he’s listening to the head trauma/concussion complaints just before Linda announces yet another Senate run. (I also wouldn’t be surprised if Vince buys a house in California so Linda can run for the seat Barbara Boxer is vacating after this term. Then again, somebody needs to remind him how Senate races work in California - there’s no guarantee there will be a Republican on the November ballot.)

1869

OMG! I am so excited that the ground breaking reality show Tough Enough is returning! Once again the WWE can select some wrestlers to have a short forgettable wrestling career!

And as usual as soon as things start looking up in the WWE Triple Ouch stinks everything up again.

The good thing here is Kane getting some air time. He’s 47 years old and still working it in the ring. Give him back his mask and let him wrestle damnit!

1870

At least Trips is trying to look to the future and build new stars. If Vince had his way, he’d probably still be building the promotion around Hulk Hogan, Shawn Michaels, and Ric Flair.

1871

Been wondering about this. It’s a dangerous move and flat out deadly IRL. Thought it was epically stupid of WWE to be showcasing this move by having people like Ziggler take it over and over and over again.

Because, you know, there’s zero chance that kids and morons will copy it on their friends, family and strangers, right?

1872

Shoot, most of the finishers wrestlers use in WWE would cause serious injury or death if they were legitimate. The Superman punch, as I’ve mentioned before, is pretty much an instant concussion if thrown properly. Submission holds like the Kimura lock or the Boston crab or the camel clutch would break bones if they were held for as long as WWE wrestlers apply them for. The Styles Clash (which, thankfully, nobody in WWE uses) can break people’s necks even when it is worked.

1873

Back in the old days, punches usually hit air instead of face, the foot would stomp to simulate contact noise, and the wrestler would sell being hit.

These days, fists make actual contact and make noise. The wrestlers don’t resist and let their heads snap with the force of the blow. Their fists aren’t entirely closed, and the noise is actually the sound of one hand clapping. Boots on the other hand, don’t have that kind of give. Maybe the material is more pliable than old school leather, but contact still stings. I’m surprised there aren’t more whiplash injuries.

1874

Supposedly, there’s going to be a big announcement on tomorrow’s episode of NXT about their going on tour. A live show in Albany has already been announced, and AFAIK they’re doing the ECW Arena next month as well. I hope they make it out here to the northwest - the NXT talent who performed at the house shows here last month got a great crowd reaction.

1875

He’s still filling the network with his glory days of the Monday Night Wars.

“You glorify the past
When the future dries up”

  • U2, God Part II
1876

I think you misposted.

You meant to send this as a letter to

WWE HQ

RE: Dolph Ziggler
Stamford, CT
Steve Austin basically said as much last week that DZ sells too hard.
Also no RAW for me this week cuz I was visiting Ms. Cups in Orlando. Just tow more months then we can FINALLY be together

1877

I just want Michael Hayes give Kane advice on how to properly guard a door in a cage match between heated rivals…

1878

So now they’re saying Bray Wyatt is calling out Ryback? Awesome. He gets to lose yet another feud?

Here I was thinking, from the references to lifting heavy weights, they were talking about Mark Henry. And I actually had some slight hope (now squashed) that he might go over in that feud.

1879

Maybe the runner up will be the next Miz.

1880

Well, I don’t think Ryback would be the one to do it, but maybe it would work for him.

“Last year you called out Daniel Bryan. How’d that go for you? Then you called out John Cena. How’d that go for you? Then you called out Dean Ambrose. How’d that go again? Oh yeah, then you got really stupid and you called out the Dead Man. How’d that go for you?” (I’m sure I missed a bunch of names, but he can’t name everyone here)

Of course, unless they finally stepped up and had Bray Wyatt go completely nuts and begin pushing him, this would be the final nail in his coffin.

1881

The Wyatts as a whole had a quick thing against the Shield…that didn’t go well for them either iirc