My plans for last night were simple–go home, and have a drink for every bouquet or present I saw delivered to someone other than me. It wasn’t going to be anything special, it was just going to be me drinking whatever I had in the house.
Then I got home and discovered that my mother, in her infinite wisdom (?), had sent me a hundred dollars for Valentines’ Day, why, I’m still not entirely sure.
So, naturally, I went straight to the liquor store. Are you aware that Godiva makes a white chocolate liqueur? And cappuccino? I had not been. But you bet I’m aware of it now.
I don’t know if my physical state can officially be called “hung over.” It’s entirely possible I’m still drunk.
Well, I didn’t really have any “sorrows” to drown, per se. I got a haircut… oh! I bought a new computer game, which is something I often do to ameliorate depression. Hmm… ate at Chik-Fil-A, which is a good pick-me-up…
But my the divine spirits of alcohol spare you the headache that often follows such a night.
I don’t have enough money to get drunk every night. (or day, as i work 3rd shift) I’m contemplating wether or not to get a 40 ozzer today. $35 to last 9 more days… $2.50 a 40 ozzer… I can always cut back on food i guess.
Nope. I wasn’t even sad. I don’t mind being single. I am relatively happy. It is possible that a woman would enhance the quality of my life, but in the same way that icing enhances cake. (Well, OK, I hate cake and love icing, but you get the idea.) In other words, life is good. A relationship might make it better, but I am not bereft without one.
I rarely drown my sorrows with drink. When I go on a self-pity induced binge, it usually involves pizza or something similar. Maybe fried chicken, or a big, big sandwich. But happily, I didn’t do that last night, although I sure would’ve liked to.
What’s a better habit to have when you’re depressed, eating too much or drinking too much? Niether one is necessarily good, I know. But at least there can be a social aspect to drinking. Of course you have to do it in a bar, rather than alone in your house. Sometimes I wish I could trade some of my compulsive eating behavior for a little drinking problem. Like, if I have to binge once a month, maybe I could alternate between stuffing myself and getting ripped. It might be less boring that way.
Actually I guess I would be a glutton for punishment as I went to see the hit romantic comedy Hitch. By myself. Surrounded by all these happy couples cuddling and holding hands and such.
Well, the woman that I’ve been admiring got back together with her ex-boyfriend. I didn’t want to think about them spending V-Day together, nor did I want to be reminded about the disabled woman that I was going to propose to 18 months ago.
So I holed up in a coffeehouse with my laptop computer, and drowned my sorrows in green tea. Yeah, it sucked.
Turns out it isn’t all about Alfred Hitchcock, after all.
Me, I drowned my sorrows with store-brand NyQuil. Maybe not so much sorrows as a cold. So maybe it’s just as well I was alone last night. Besides, it’s the ladies who are missing out by not being with me.
I completely forgot yesterday was Valentine’s Day except for a moment here and there and even if I had remembered, I wouldn’t’ve cared. The other 364 days don’t bother me that much, why should that one?
I stopped trying to drown my sorrows years ago when I learned that all sorrows can float, several can tread water, some can swim, and a few can perform CPR on their fellow sorrows.
I pigged out on salty snack foods and drowned it all with Pepsi.
Actually, I wasn’t feeling nearly as depressed about the whole V-Day thing yesterday as I felt on the weekend (although I found the sheer number of people on the subway carrying bouquets of flowers to be a little daunting).
I think I am slowly finding that the ultimate source of spiritual/psychological nourishment in my life is somehow related to doing my art, and is not related to how successful I am in conforming to external social standards and being ‘attractive’ and ‘popular’. So whether I am attractive or not, whether I can snag a girlfriend or not, it doesn’t matter so much now.
This is ironic considering that the biggest project of the last ten years in my life has involved getting used to people, overcoming my extreme fear of conflict, and learning social skills and perception …precisely to be more attractive and socially successful.
But all the therapy in the world isn’t going to change the fact that I have a voice that sounds startlingly like Kermit the Frog, that I’m nearsighted, or that I’m very smart and therefore a large vocabulary and an unusual way of speaking. While I can do things such as learning to adapt my speech to the people around me, at the base of it all, I just have to accept that what I am is what I am, instead of trying to be someone else.
Bad mojo, Cowgirl, I’d send happy vibes your way but I seem to have lost mine as well. Someone needs to grab that little shit Cupid and jam his random firing bow up his pretty little ass.
Me & the missus are patching things up but are not all good, all the time as I can’t seem to completely exorcise my life of her lurking indiscretion (as I refer to him). I meant to put the kids to bed and have a long chat with Mr. Foster & the Red Baron & watch Boromir get killed by Uruks. The missus usually crashes when she puts any of the kids to bed.
But I was too depressed to drink. But Nachos sounded good. So away with me to the super duper market with a fist full of quarters to get the King Kong-sized bag of Santitas. Once home, I couldn’t bring myself to trouble the cheeze grater, let alone open the bag of chips.
So I ate a banana muffin that had been sitting on the counter all day, had a glass of water and went to sleep on the couch because it pisses my wife off. Not a completely wasted evening after all!
I could not completely down mine, as I had class at 8am this morning and also had to drive home. I did get rather melancholy though. I hate valentine’s day. A pox on it! Inigo: come over to my place - we’ll grab some guns and baseball bats and give that little bastard cupid a piece of our minds.
Nope, didn’t have a drop last night.
I did make a valentine for a friend last night. I made a CD mix (inspired by the “musical kung-fu” thread) for her as a goof and a gift.
Are you aware that Godiva makes a white chocolate liqueur? And cappuccino? I had not been. But you bet I’m aware of it now.