Much to my surprise, my roommate invited a bunch of people over to watch the Dolphins-Buccaneers preseason game. Hey, no problem, I like most of his friends (don’t really have many of my own in town), and it’s an excuse to clean my toilet. But now I am drunk, and on my way to getting drunker. I have been so depressed lately, full of fear and dread and anger and frustration about work and everything else, so I have decided to try to not feel so much. It is better to not feel, because then nothing can hurt you or stop you. If only I could totally shut down all my emotions, even hope. Oh well, I am on the way to that, at least for tonight. Woo, Pabst Blue Ribbon!
As yes, the “no-feeling” game…I remember playing that for a bit. It may be good not to feel, but it will only be temporary. Feeling will come rushing back, usually in the form of a flood.
Don’t be afraid to seek professional help, if necessary.
I second **bittersweet’s ** (what an appropriate username) suggestion. Life *is * bittersweet, and everyone gets depressed, I’m learning. Drinking isn’t really going to help long-term, you’ll have to feel it no matter what. Professional help, but first of all - get out and do more things! Pick up hobbies! Find something you’re so-so at and get better!
Since I gave up hope I feel much better.
And was there a lesson in all this, huh? What did we learn about beer?
Beer contains Vitamin P.
Bein’ alone is the best way to be.
When I’m all alone it’s the best way to be.
When I’m by myself, nobody else can say, “Good Bye!”
Right back at ya, man. I’ve got about 4 years of hard work on a side project at work about to be taken out from under me by the dark forces of management, tortured and mutilated, and turned into a wrecked and miserable shadow of it’s former glory. Once they’re done raping that bitch they’ll spit on it and say, “Feh, that could never have worked the way you say it does, get back in the machine, whore!”
In other news, I won a bottle of wine in a dog paddle race this afternoon. So it ain’t all bad. 'course, it’s a chardonnay. I HATES me some chardonnay. Maybe I can find a girl to drink it and who’ll then … ah, never mind.
C’mere, Inigo, and pass over that Chardonnay.
Many several hugs for Lou, those big long warm ones, and a couple of aspirin and an icepack for tomorrow, and an offer of my email if you need to vent–promise to drop a line, okay?
Kewwwwl!
A misery loves company feeling sorry for myself thread!
Pour me some of that funk… better yet… let me buy everyone a round. My cup runneth over… 
I don’t like chardonnay, but I am in an affectionate mood, so free hug to everyone who comes in the thread.
I’ve been working on this trout curry. Could I trouble you to…Hey where you going!? I got a white wine to go with the fish!
Yay hugs Anaamika back
tries some of Inigo’s curry and immediately turns a delicate shade of blue-green It’s… um… it’s… well…
Two things. Well, three actually. First, I’ve just whipped up a blender of strawberry dackery (I know that’s not how you spell it, but there we are) and I’ll be feelin no pain in just about ahalf hour. Second, I’m not really into curry. At all. About 9 years ago my wife was. She made curried lentils & rice. She loved it, but I gotta say, I was fresh out of the Army at the time and I couldn’t get any of it down. It was nasty. Smelled too. Smelled a lot like, well, curry actually. Anyway, the third thing: we had just moved into an apartment at the time, and the previous residents were heavy smokers and I’m pretty sure they had died several times before we moved in. The landlords painted and cleaned the carpet, but you know how it is if you’re not a smoker–the place reeked. Luckily the stink was more or less isolated in the back bedroom. Before we moved in the landlord set of a “smoke-bomb” which was supposed to murder the tobacco odor. Well, it smelled like someone had rolled a rose in their cigarettes and basically created a…where am I going with this? Well, shortly after the curried lentils and rice was born I was poking about in the fridge looking for something good. I found the evilness in a bowl and hied it away from the good food and into the stinky room. Two days later I remembered it and went to retrieve the dish. The room smelled of curry, but no longer of roses or tobacco. And so it stayed.
Daquiri. And no curry. You still drinking that Chardonnay?
No, it’s daiquiri. I had to go look it up. And I’ll take one!
Sorry kiddo, the only way to get a daiquiri out of me tonight is to stick a finger in my throat. The pitcher is empty. Already. I should be ashamed. But failing that…
The wine is in the fridge and calling me all sorts of horrible names. : la la la la la I’m not listening:
Beer foamy.
What the hell, I’ll join. I gots me some more Aussie wine and shall proceed with libations and watching Emeril.
Mung, didn’t you just get hammered on Aussie wine not too long ago? Red wine I think it was?
Wheeeee! I’m sitting here downing my most recent of several Rolling Rocks and thinking how fucked up things are when 1.) One of my favorite people spent $225 today to jump out of an airplane and survive, today, in a state where the minimum wage is $6.75 and nobody can survive on that, 'specially not on a less-than-full-time, benefits-free schedule. Seems like my friend (who’s a social worker) might have survived just as well without jumping out of an airplane. 2.) Some big-ass corporation just set off yet another (yawn) $50,000 worth of fireworks in downtown Providence (bread and circuses, anybody?) while the regional Food Bank is scraping for dollahs. And 3.) the fresh-outta-the-joint bad boy who I hired to scrape and paint my house, knowing full well that he was a genius with a drug problem, has started to show signs of fucking up, really pushing the boundaries of my neighborhood-acclaimed zero-tolerance policy…that, and, 4.) Iraq, etc.
Bleeeahhh…Clearly I have a bad attitude all over the map here, and sometimes a coupla beers helps me work that out.
All I can say is, it’s the Lexapro (and the coffee) that’s gonna get me through with a better attitude come morning.
Here’s lookin’ at you, Lou…better times are coming. Soon, I hope.