Stop making fun. At least one religion views smurfs as a real danger.
There are 2 schools of thought that I have encountered when dealing with Smurf infestations.
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“Nuke 'em from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.”
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Or the chemical option. Get yourself a 55 gallon drum of “DIP” and a sprayer. Since they are toons it can be rather effective. Just watch for the runoff.
I’m surprised no-one has mentioned the Integrated Pest Management approach: instead of merely slaughtering them wholesale (which, while it takes care of the symptom, does not affect the underlying problem), you stock your garden with their natural enemy: garden gnomes.
Garden gnomes were bred specifically for keeping down smurfs, brownies, and other semi-sentient humanoid pests. A properly-trained pedigreed gnome will restrict its activities to the yard in whichn it is installed, and will be quite lethal within those bounds.
Garden gnomes thrive best when they get at least one smurf or brownie a week, but they can go for months consuming only squirrels and rats, all the while remaining on the outlook for more smurfs. They are quite effective.
If they remain unfed and neglected, however, eventually they will take small dogs or cats. It is important to monitor your garden gnomes to keep them in the best condition.
Actually, I’d suggest one of the two devices discussed in this thread. Both should work well with smurfs as well as other pests.
Shouldn’t that be “come on a smurf-ari with meeeee --”?
Ah, so smurfs hang out with boggies, then. That, upon reflection, would explain a lot. 
Indeed.
However, I must caution anyone on attempting to capitalize on the frequent “turf wars” between Smurfs and Boogies by importing the latter. Boogies can be even more harmful to your lawn, shrubs and liquor cabinet than Smurfs.
One possibility that should be considered to control the infestation is the Australian method that was used on their national rabbit problem. They introduced germ warfare and infected rabbits with a disease called myxomytosis. Rabbits being rabbits they began having bunny sex all over the place and spread the disease themselves. It was initially very effective but had several drawbacks. It left really ugly rabbit corpses all over the place and also lead to a super-rabbit population that had acquired an immunity to the disease.
To avoid the possibility of disease immune smurfs, I’d suggest a lab bred virus developed using recombinant DNA. The disease should be air born and should having a very rapid progression, from infection to death in 24 to 36 hours so as to prevent the breeding of an immune smurf population. To avoid the problem of unattractive blue corpses all over your garden, the lab bred virus should be spliced together with a strain of Old Time Hollywood Movie Virus (also known as OTMVS) which left is victims looking far better in death than they did while alive. You could then take all those attractive blue corpses and shellac them and sell them at a road side stand or in a yard sale turning an annoying problem into a sure to be welcome infusion of cash. You could perhaps mount the dead smurfs in little tableaus, playing cards or as a jazz band, as the Mexicans do with bullfrogs.
One of which is that you can no longer enjoy their sweet, sweet flesh, for fear of catching the disease yourself. You can, however, still make hats out of them.
Give one of them $100 to paint himself purple and run around going “GNAP! GNAP!” for a while. The rest of them will run away screaming.
Do not do this if you have garden gnomes!!! Gnomes are extremely territorial and will challenge the dead smurfs. Since the dead smurfs are unable to respond, many gnomes will challenge repeatedly until they are exhausted, rather than seeking live ones. Others will clue in eventually and will attempt to ‘take’ the dead smurfs, and become ill from the shellacking. Some of the more indiscriminate gnomes will attempt to ‘take’ everything in a tableau, and will suffer intestinal troubles as a result.
You will need the help of NBC. You will have to have NBC cancel them again. Only problem is the Smurphs can pop up in syndication anytime, anyplace.
Isn’t that a bit drastic? “Nuclear, Biological, Chemical”? I mean, yes, it will work, but you want to be able to use the garden again.
What Im talking about is more toxic than Nuclear, Biological or chemical weapons, I am refering to the National Broadcasting Company. It kills brain cells upon viewing or listening, you don’t even have to touch it.
Ah, NBC television. Unfortunately, that’s only a local problem. Many of us live where the NBC does not reach.
Besides, how do you get the smurfs to watch it? They don’t exactly have the greatest attention spans.
It’s the National Broadcasting Company.
Canada is part of America, right?
A low yield neutron device should do the trick, leaving you garden ready to plant next season . :dubious:
Yeah, it would kill weed seed, too.
Does the County Extension Office have those?
You bastard. I waded through this whole thread to offer up that idea. For a moment there I was operating under the illusion that I was the only one who remembered that episode.
Nah. Our Head of State’s new representative-designate is way more photogenic.