I must sadly report that these beverages are available only in 12-packs in my market, and I cannot invest the requisite funds for a singlexperiment.
:eek: :eek: :eek:
Sometimes I feel as if I missed all the good times on the SDMB.
What a fantastic rant! Appropriate, too. I also have now had an encounter with this ass-juice.
I read the rant yesterday afternoon, and without remarking on it either here or to anyone else, went home and kind of forgot about it. Until the unthinkable happened. A more kismetic sense of timing was never seen. Mr. F came home from the store with a 2 liter of this swill. :eek: As I pulled it from the plastic grocery bag, I was so surprised and amused that I guffawed loud enough to surprise him. I knew immediately, that after I called up this thread and had him read the OP, that I was on an inevitable crash course with the bottled horror and I was going to have to experience it for myself.
After wiping away the tears of laughter from hearing Mr.F read the OP out loud, I tried it.
Euth, right on man. Right ON. I could not have described it better. On my best day.
So, Mr. F gets a rim job then? Or did he have some too and it’s mutual rim jobs in the Faruiza household? Inquiring minds want to know!
Enjoy,
Steven
Yes, he does. ~grins~
Incidentally, he made me try this swill yesterday, too. Terrible, absolutely horrid.
I’m trying to convince him to try the strawberry one. I’m sure he’ll let you know if I succeed.
BLEAH!!! That swill tastes worse than stall clay liquefying in under-mat-trapped aging horse piss smells, and trust me, I know the aroma of decomposing eau de equine.
No, but my PDP-8 does.
For the zero-calorie felch.
You’re drinking DIET soda?
You tie your own noose, my friend.
(Great rant, though!)
Hear, hear! (on all counts)
BTW, on the subject of nasty-tasting shit, I was amused to see 4-packs of Tab Energy Drink selling at my local 99 cent store!
I never touch diet soda (except the occasional Fresca), but is this Diet Pepsi crud worse than Diet Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper?
Good rant. On a related subject, my wife recently brought home a new flavor of Coke, I think it was Vanilla / Black Cherry. I had two sips of it and poured the rest out. It took me a minute to recognize the aftertaste, but it had the distinct boquet of furniture polish.
Yes.
I’ve had an 11 pack of Diet Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper sitting in my pantry for about a year now. (We tried one. That was enough).
I didn’t think anything could be worse, but apparently, I was wrong.
We were thinking about leaving the opened bottle of Diet Pepsi Jazz Black Cherry Vanilla Evil Swill Will Kidnap Your Children in the refrigerator for awhile to see if it tried to take over the house and perform acts of thievery.
E.
Good rant. Opens strong, with good use of imagery (‘chipmunk spunk’). Nice pop culture reference (Fight Club face-fuck). Closes well with a catchy little phrase that dances nicely off the tongue (‘savory, septic, dog shit delight’).
9/10.
If you switch to diet- and only diet- for somewhere between 2 to 4 weeks; then diet will taste normal and sugar sodas will taste syrupy and nasty.
That Tab energy drink was nasty too, though.
Aack! I now have witty retort writer’s block!! Aack!
:o
I once had the misfortune to accidentally pick up a Diet Pepsi with lemon (remember when that was the first “twist”?) It tasted exactly what I image a diet Pepsi with lemon Pledge poured in it would taste like.
God, I’m shuddering just remmebering the taste. But now I’m intrigued. I usually refer to anything except Coke/Diet Coke or Pepsi/Diet Pepsi as ‘bastardization cola’ and think it’s wrong. It’s part of my moral code. There can be no other. How bastardized can a cola be before it’s no longer the unhold child of soda + other flavor, but instead has become it’s own drink?
Yeah, I’m overthinking this. If I put as much energy into my work as I did cola classification I would be the Vice President by now.
Well, the “blowjob” smilie is a good start. 
Enjoy,
Steven
‘Savory, Septic, Dog Shit Delight’
Sounds like a bad 70’s pop single by the Starland Vocal Band.
Or a poorly selling Wonka candy bar.
Excellent rant. Why, I nearly sprayed Diet Pepsi, Jazz, Black Cherry & French Vanilla on my keyboard. What can I say, I kinda like it.
Besides, I got a 12-pack free with purchase of some regular Pepsi…
I just had to pop in to point out that “Are we collectively up shit creek?” and “Anybody want a rim job?” are sequential threads. :eek: