Not a will, but my Mother’s remaining retirement savings. After my father passed away, her 401K people sent her new paperwork to name new beneficiaries. Well, in her confusion and grief, she only put down my eldest sister’s name.
Was it my Mother’s intention to screw over her other 2 kids? Almost certainly not, but my sisters were convinced my mother was of sound mind, while I knew that she wasn’t. My attitude was that “since you think Mom was sane, then money should be all oldest sister’s”. Siblings response was exact opposite.
Funny how that goes. Eldest sister ended up splitting the money evenly, but over multiple years because of tax purposes. Sisters no longer talk to me, this incident is one of the many reasons why.
Think I mentioned this on the Board when it was happening, but got left out of my mother’s will for being Gay. She specifically told me when I first came out 36 years ago that if I was going to “continue being Gay”, I would get nothing in the will… and she kept her word… 30 years later.
My born-again brother - who forced her to leave her house - and when she was in an old age home, brought a dumpster to her house and threw everything out - was left everything - over a million dollars…
People do need to keep their beneficiaries up to date. I’ve heard more than one story about someone in a second (or later) marriage who died, and the life insurance policy was still in the name of a former spouse. The current spouse needed that money because s/he had minor children, but because the beneficiary hadn’t been changed, that money belonged to the first spouse - a childless marriage, no less. :smack:
Folks, the beneficiary doesn’t change automatically with a change in family status.
Which reminds me - I need to get my own will updated. As it stands now, my nieces, who are both minors, will get my estate. I don’t plan to kick off before they’re these ages, but if I do, after the charitable contributions have been made and my “final expenses” paid, I want the assets placed into trust that they can only draw on for medical or educational expenses until they’re 25-ish. Should either of them reproduce in the meantime, I’ll figure something out.
My dad’s Uncle (or something like that) left money to some university that no longer exists. There was a chance I was going to get some of the inheritance (a very small portion, like $100). but it turns out some other university merged or something so they got it.
That assumes that all parties are acting in good faith, and that all parties are capable of acting with good will. In other words, the deceased may not be the screwer.
My husband lost two close family members within a few months of each other, his grandfather and his mother. His grandfather played favorites, so my husband knows that if he inherits anything, it’ll be a pleasant surprise. It was the old man’s money to spend or distribute as he wished, so no big deal there; no one got screwed.
His mother, on the other hand, apparently set up her estate so that her husband (my husband’s stepfather) inherits everything, and he’s the executor of the estate. There are instructions for him in the will to distribute certain funds realized from the sale of a couple of rental properties, but whether these are formal instructions or informal instructions isn’t known. There is a lot of bad blood between stepfather and stepson, so my husband may end up having to hire a lawyer to make sure his interests are protected. In this situation, it’s not the stepfather’s money to do with as he pleases; he’s likely going to use his deceased wife’s estate to spite his stepson.
Some years back, I attended a seminar on estate planning. The lawyer who did the presentation on executors said that the best people to choose are distant cousins or an attorney - someone who doesn’t stand to inherit anything, and who either understands the family dynamic or who doesn’t have to care. This way, the decedent’s wishes are followed because there is no incentive to screw anyone to benefit himself.
Not via will, but when my Mom’s mother died, while she was at the funeral home organizing everything, her cousins raided the house and took anything of value.
Forty-seven years later, my mom still despises that entire branch of her family. Unfortunately, she’s become paranoid about them. She’s constantly giving me directions on what to tell them if they call me. Mom, I’ve met a few of them once. WHY would they call me?
We’ve made it very clear to our daughters that they shouldn’t expect anything when we die. Not that we’re going to screw them out of anything, just that I don’t want them (the older one in particular) making plans around an inheritance. In point of fact, I’m sure there will be a decent chunk of change for them to split, and we’ll divide it equally, but it’s not getting distributed in the same manner to each. The youngest would immediately meet with a financial planner, squirrel it away in safe investments, and then continue living her life as if it didn’t exist. The older one would immediately spend every penny on, say, buying a house, not thinking about the taxes on the house, or insurance, or maintenance…and within 5 years would lose it somehow. We’re going to have to arrange a somewhat more complex distribution for the older one.
I suspect there will be a little something when my parents die. I assume they will have divided it equally, but I will probably see to it that my sister gets more than half. She lives closer to my folks, so will be dealing with the hands-on of whatever end-of-life scenario occurs. Plus, she’s got young boys to put through college, and while she and her husband appear to be doing fine, they’re certainly not rich. My wife and I simply don’t need an inheritance as much as my sister does.
Not the will, but I wonder why my share of my mother’s life insurance was a full $204.00. Maybe she donated money to the church, maybe I’m just that bad of a person after all. She wasn’t the spiteful sort, so it’s better to just trust that she had her reasons.
In our case, there was no executor—one had died, and the other refused due to a potential conflict of interest. One of my grandfather’s children stepped in and decided to be the executor, but unfortunately decided to skip such important steps as notifying beneficiaries and filing for probate. By the time it was brought home to her that these were not optional steps, things were already very ugly.
As a compromise, we found a nephew of Grandpa’s who was local and willing to do be executor (and is honest and distinterested), but by then it was too late. Once you intermeddle, you are legally responsible for the whole thing and can’t just hand it over mid-stream.
Similar story here. My father had some money and was divorced from my mother. Also, he was dying of cancer, but still was in good enough shape to do a lot of things. Every woman (grifter) he dated wanted to marry him. Thank God, he was insistent that only my sister and I would would receive his inheritance. This always ended the relationships.
Thanks—it is. Just had another notice today that the estate is almost ready for distribution—we’re bring presented with the classic “sign this to get your money! Oh, and by the way, by signing you agree to small print with lots of nasty things.”
Most of the beneficiaries aren’t good at close reading of legal texts. They don’ t quite know what to do with me—I read everything and ask awkward questions.
Wife’s grandfather died. Grandmother married Arthur, then died, leaving Arthur a life estate in everything (Not too much, small house, some savings, personal belongings/jewelry etc.)
Arthur hooked up with some golddigger who took him for most everything he had. He bought her a Lincoln, gave her all the jewelry, took her on trips. When the money ran out, she dumped him. I think he ended up dying alone essentially destitute.
Old people can be very stupid - and/or insensitive to other family members.
My mother had an mentally handicapped sister who she cared for after their parents died. My grandfather had invested well, so there was plenty of money to care for the youngest daughter, and my mother was required to file periodic reports for some reason - might have had to do with her sister’s social security or something. But the will was clear that until the youngest sister died, the estate was for her care. Afterwards, it was to be split among the surviving siblings.
Anyway, one of her brothers got it into his head that my mom (and my dad when alive) were siphoning off the funds for their own enjoyment, since my folks had an RV and also liked to go on cruises. In fact, my dad was also pretty good with investments and such, so it was, in fact, his earnings, etc, that financed their travels. My mom offered to let her brother see the financials, but he chose to cut her out of his life. He didn’t even show up at my dad’s funeral, but he did reappear when the sister died, and he happily took his share of the remaining estate. He has since dropped out of my mom’s life again. Guess he got what he wanted. And I’m sure he thinks he got screwed.
in the meantime, I’ll figure something out.