My Fool Brother & my dead Brother's Estate.

My youngest brother, Andy, died late last year.
My Sister was named executor.

Andy’s estate is small, due to debts, divorce, & bills.

About $25K each, total, for the three of us, after all fees & bills.
And now, my Idiot Brother Tommy is saying that my Sister “kept stuff from Andy’s house”.


And he won’t sign the waiver of accounting.

This will costs in thousands.
And for what?
For “stuff”?
Tommy won’t say what “stuff”.

Whatever it is couldn’t be worth more than a couple hundred bucks, tops.

This will cost thousands.

I needed that money.

I’m poor, and my car is 10 years old, & I just blew $1000 on repairs!

I needed to put more cash aside, for my old age.

Now Tommy thinks he’s a goddam big wheel!

Sorry to hear about your brother. :frowning:

I don’t know what it is about wills that turns people into total idiots. People will fight tooth and nail over stupid piddly crap, and I just don’t get it. Dealing with a death in the family is hard enough without all that nonsense.

My father was executor of his mother’s estate.

He arrived at the house (1500 miles away) to find half the family looting the place and most of the furniture gone. Had to fight over that because a fair portion of it was specifically addressed in her will.

Humans become Vultures when the death of relatives is involved. :frowning:

No kidding!

The cops had to be called to my grandparent’s house after my grandmother’s service, because two relatives were fighting over a simple item. Grandma clearly intended it for one, but the other just would not give up. Near violence ensued.

The cops were not pleased!

I am so grateful for my family. My parents are already passing things on to me and my brother, their will is clearly written, and my brother is not an asshole.

Yup. Been there. Done that. Spent 25 years estranged from my brother, and 28+ years and counting from my older sister, over literally a few thousand one way or the other on my mother’s estate.

A truly caring family member’s will reads “I gave it all away. Hug each other and go home.”

My parents are doing the same thing, and so far it’s working out well. Every time they move, they downsize, and force more stuff on my brother and me, and Mom’s got a list of things that they want for now that she wants each of us to have eventually, so it doesn’t look to be a problem. Example - Mom’s jewelry? Her taste and mine vary wildly, so while I might want a couple of pieces as mementos, she and my SIL share a birthstone and similar tastes, so I’m happy for quite a bit of it to go to my brother’s family.

And here I am, years after my last parent died, still trying to give their stuff away.

My sister’s MIL died 2 years ago (I think) and they just this summer finished settling the estate. One of the 4 sibs wanted the family home but he didn’t want to buy the other 3 sibs’ shares at market price. He intended to low-ball them then turn around and sell it for a profit. Waterfront property in Annapolis, so decidedly pricey.

Meanwhile, the estate had to keep paying taxes and upkeep while asshole brother dug in his heels. Eldest sister was executor, and she had to bring them all into arbitration to finally settle it.

I don’t anticipate anything nearly that awful with my inlaws or my mom. My husband is the executor of his parents’ meager estate and my bro has been managing our mom’s affairs since our dad died, and he’s a *very *honest individual. Not that Mom’s estate will be all that large either, altho her house sits on almost 7 acres and it’s worth considerably more than the $97K my folks paid for it 37 years ago. Meanwhile, Mom keeps trying to foist her stuff off on us. No one wants the china, Ma!! :stuck_out_tongue:

One of the relatives on my mom’s side of the family managed to get quite a bit of my aunt’s estate into his lawyer’s pockets … same relative same thing when my grandma passed … so we just basically didn’t tell anyone when my own mom passed … and that was her idea …

Biggest fight we had with the estate was between me and my brother … I wanted to have all my mom’s daughters-in-laws put on string bikinis and wrassle for the jewelry … though my brother thought it a capital idea, he still won’t tell me who vetoed the plan …

My siblings and I have always been very close … fighting over my mom’s money just wasn’t going to happen … and it didn’t … even dividing up her “stuff” was easy and painless and was based more on what we wanted the others to have … “the gold plated flatware just screams to be in your china hutch, so you take it”.

The biggest issue we had when my in-laws passed was my mild disbelief that the SIL married to the millionaire actually took her third of their estate, but - shrug.

If I am still in my parents’ will, I plan to tell whoever to keep it.

My grandfather died in 1979. His estate was probably around $75,000 if you adjusted it for inflation. My uncle, who came around the old man less than any of his other children when he was alive in spite of the fact he was the only one of my grandfather’s kids who lived in or anywhere near the same tiny town (my mother and my aunt, both of whom lived 30-40 miles away, took him to his doctor’s appointments and let him recuperate at their houses), kept the estate in court for about 10 years, among other things claiming my grandfather had orally promised everything to him (my grandfather had a will dividing everything evenly dated about 4 years before he died- it revoked one that had specifically excluded my uncle) and claiming that my mother and aunt had removed such valuables as an “antique mint condition Boston Rocker” (it was thrown away because it was missing a rocker and falling apart, and was a reproduction to start with), a window AC unit (that was cheap to begin with and belonged to my mother anyway), my grandmother’s engagement ring (which my grandfather had given to my sister at my grandmother’s funeral years before), and then a long list of petty stuff that was sold at a yard sale and the proceeds split. Ultimately the judge awarded him $600 in addition to whatever else he got, this mainly because my mother couldn’t afford a lawyer to fight him. The $600 came at a terrible time and left my mother broke admittedly, but at least there was satisfaction that he never saw a penny of it because his legal fees were way more than that.
Bad blood forever in the family that even involved a stint in jail. Some may know the story of her special container of whiskey- a special edition of Jack Daniels she received along with a crystal tumbler that she saved for years until she learned of her brother’s death. When she got the word she opened the bottle, poured it into the tumbler, and drank a toast… to the cancer that killed him.

My father and his brothers had a related problem. My father’s brothers thought the house was worth twice as much as it was - and it might have been worth half again as much as it was worth - had she not died in September of 2008. By the time they had it cleaned out and ready to sell, the housing market was in the toilet. So they spent two years sitting on it, maintaining it, paying taxes on it - until they finally came to their senses and decided that cashing out was better than sitting on it.

The homeowners association she had had a “no rentals” clause. Renting it might have made it possible to wait out the market. My parents just voted for a “no rentals” clause on their association. I reminded my Dad he wasn’t doing us any favors with that - he said “yeah, but I’ll be dead, I don’t care.” I think that’s fair - although I hope my mother doesn’t need to move into assisted living after he dies in a down market.

My ex-in-laws got into some sort of fight with my ex-MILs brother over the contents of her mother’s trailer. My ex-MIL hadn’t seen her mother in fifteen years, she lived in a trailer in Northern Minnesota, they didn’t even go to the funeral - yet thousands were spent on an attorney so her brother - who “didn’t need the money” wouldn’t walk off with all the wondrous treasures worth millions on Antique Roadshow. The attorney discovered that it had cost her brother more to get rid of fifty years of accumulated crap than it was worth and he was out of pocket himself a few thousand dollars on his mother’s death.

I’ve decided–I’m going back to giving everything to charity.

Heard from The Dingle-berry, today.
An email, with something glib & shallow, about quick nickels & slow dimes.

My asshole BIL died a couple of weeks ago and, an asshole beyond the end, he never updated his will to include a new executor. The executors were left as his own dead father, and in the event of his death, his long dead mother. So everything now goes to probate court. There is at least a couple hundred thousand in the offing, and they all have bills to pay, and now get to share part of it with a lawyer. Fucking prick.

It helps to have a parent who doesn’t have a pot to piss in. When mom went there was nothing to fight over! Just junk to toss out.

When my brother died his estate was pretty much a break even. But he had very kindly taken out a $100,000 life insurance policy naming my sister and myself as beneficiaries. When she went to claim it (she was executor), they insisted only her name was on it. So rather than wrangle with them she cut me a check for half.

I’m amazed at the ridiculous behavior of some people.

Sympathies at the loss of your brother Bosda, and sympathies that your other brother is a dick.

Excellent plan. I had my mom write me out of her will, except for some token mementos. My siblings will need the inheritance far more than I do.

My parents started to do that; give us stuff while they’re still around. Last time I was home, they wanted me to take the fine china. I had to politely tell them that I had no need for twelve place settings of Wedgewood. (I live alone and don’t entertain.)

The one thing I want is worthless and I think may have been thrown out already. It was a small cutting board with a picture of a rooster on it that my mother used for years in the kitchen. She used it so much that it had a slight dip in the surface. I already asked her to look for it.

Yep. They had us go through things and divvy them up when they moved from their house in a gated community to a seniors residential facility and had to downsize in a major way. A lot of it has already made it to my or my brother’s home, and for the rest, things are dribbling in. The last of it will happen when both the parents die, and there’s a list.

My mom is the driving force, here. They started working out wills and remains disposal and family trusts and who gets what after 10 or more years ago. A little uncomfortable, because my brother and I would much rather have the folks HERE, but realistically, dad just turned 89 and has major medical issues, and mom will be 81 soon and also has issues. Not enough for either to be in assisted living, but, you know …