We all have stories about how when someone dies the family has this big battle over inheritance but I have to ask, has anyone ever seen an inheritance where all parties left satisfied with no bitter feelings?
When my mother in law passed, her two children were never in the slightest conflict. Not for a moment.
But she had prearranged the funeral and reception after, and both children’s names were on her large assets. Plus they knew everything to expect as she was very open, so no surprises!
It does happen, and likely more often than you’d imagine. But those aren’t the tales that get any traction, of course. There is no commentary, as there is no need.
Sure. I had an uncle who spent his whole life hoarding junk and squirreling away every penny he ever laid hands on. He had amassed quite a sizable savings when he died suddenly about 10 years ago. He had no children. His wife (my aunt) got everything, which ended up being several million dollars, plus their house and whatever life insurance they had.
We never knew what he had, we never expected to get anything out of it, and most importantly no one cared when it turned out he had a lot. It all went to my aunt and she deserved it. As much as I liked my uncle, frankly I would have felt strange taking any of his money after his death.
When my FIL died everything went to my MIL. Now that she’s dying (lung cancer) we’ve made sure we’ve located her will and her proof she pre-paid her funeral. She’s given gifts to her kids (last year she funded our screened-in patio and hot tub) as their inheritance, and except for some housekeeping issues and some bequests to the grandkids, we’re set.
Wills should not be secrets. Everyone needs to know ahead of time what’s in them.
Yep – me and my brother after our mother died. We were named co-executors of her estate, and we’ve divided all the money evenly and there have been no fights over her possessions.
The only conflict came when we were selling my mother’s condo (in Boston) from where we live ¶ and had to handle all the paperwork by email. This involved the simple step of receiving a PDF of a document from the realtor, printing it out, signing it, scanning it, and emailing it back to her. My brother didn’t have access to a scanner and didn’t feel like making the trip to Staples or wherever to get it scanned, so he took his sweet-ass time in doing it and would have lost us the sale if he hadn’t done it by the deadline. I yelled at him over the phone about that.
Other than that, it’s been stress-free. 
When my father died I didn’t really give much thought to my inheritance. My brother handled it so perhaps he is resentful over having to do that; if so, he’s never mentioned it. I assume everything was split equally, and if not, I really don’t care.
It’s always amazed and disgusted me how ugly some people can get over that kind of thing.
Most inheritances go smoothly. They don’t write books and articles about efficient and uncontroversial trips through the probate system.
Plenty of people have no significant assets left once the estate is wound up. When my Dad dies I’m sure his estate will have negative value. That doesn’t matter anyhow, because anything and everything would and should go to his wife.
When my mom died she left everything to my brother, knowing he was the financially smartest of her three kids.
He kicked ass. He set up college savings accounts for my sister’s two grandkids, gave cash to my sister’s son’s girlfriend, who had helped my mom out with rides to the doctor near the end (she bought a car), and gave my sister and my daughter some jewelry which they now treasure. He gave my gf a cook book that I still haven’t heard the inside story about, which caused mega-tears.
My brother also got a med-card (he is in Michigan) and bought some primo dope for the two of us, knowing that that’s what my mom would have wanted.
ETA: my brother continues to kick ass, sending me and my sister yearly reports on the growth (or lack thereof) of the college funds.
Everyone in my family so far has died with no money to leave.
My grandpa died with some money but he and grandma had set up a trust many years prior. Grandma (who is his second wife, not bio-grandma) is now living comfortably on their money and that makes me very happy. She is well taken care of!
When she does pass I think someone in my family is the uhm…trustee? There are no family heirlooms that belong to my family, if there’s any furniture or whatever it’ll go to her nieces and nephews. I assume the money part is all decided already and no one will be surprised if they leave a good chunk of change to their church.
I expect my brother and I will have an easy time of things when our parents pass, too. There might actually be some cash to dole out but also an easy 50/50 split between two siblings who like each other.
I was executor of my mom’s estate (6 figure range). One of 4 sibs. No arguments at all (except for YOU take it! No, YOU). We had a fine arts auction company handle the antiques, and they were amazed at how well we all got on.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
My brother in law died and despite being terminal, never got around to a will. There is something in Minnesota where the default heirs can sign over disbursement to the executor. They did, my husband divvied it up according to his best understanding of his brothers wishes, and there has been little drama.
When my mother died and my father got rid of all her stuff, we each took turns picking one item until it was all spoken for. When my father died we did the same thing. Everyone had a fair shot at getting their sentimental heirlooms.
Yeah, both my mother and my sister. No squabbles.
Trusts are good things.
Before my mother died, she put virtually all her assets into POD instruments, in the name of my sister or myself. No questions asked, no eyebrows raised. Sis was the executrix, and behaved honorablyy.
Yes. My sisters and I inherited equally from our mother, and there was no drama or hurt feelings. We decided to contribute equally to a cash gift for our aunt, who was very close to my mother and stayed with her almost constantly after she started treatment for cancer. We all got sentimental items that we particularly wanted, which we worked out as we prepared her house for sale. There was never any contention between us in any of this, we all said that we would rather have nothing than have material things cause any rift between us.
Maybe it’s unresolved childhood resentments that have been brewing for years that brings out the ugly and makes people act crazy. I don’t know, but that would be awful to go through and I’m glad that my sisters were their usual wonderful selves during that sad process.
I am unaware of any squabbles between family members over estates or inheritances in my family.
My two brothers and I split our mother’s small estate with no problems. The oldest brother (I’m the middle one) lived in the same town as our mother, so he volunteered to do the lion’s share of our mother’s long-term care arrangements. He didn’t do the actual care - she lived in an adult family care facility - but he drove her to doctor’s appointments and the like.
For this reason, when it came time to divide up the estate, my younger brother and I tried to get him to accept a larger share, but he refused. (We initially proposed a 50/25/25 split, and then 40/30/30). So we bought him some additional stuff that we knew he wanted the following Christmas.
It probably helped that our mother didn’t have any valuable possessions (mostly books, vinyl records, and family photos. I was the only one of us who was unmarried, so they insisted I get her engagement and wedding rings). And that all three of us were old enough to be on our feet fiscally (38 to 48 years old).
The smoothness was actually a pleasant surprise, because the relationships that the younger brother and I have had with our older brother have at times been strained.
I think it was Dear Abby/Ann Landers who said, if you want to get to know someone, split an inheritance with them.
My parents’ estate went very smoothly. They died within a month of each other, without a will. My sister cashed all investments and divided them equally. As far as personalty, the 4 kids met at their home. We drew numbers 1-4, and simply went from 1 to 4 then 4 to 1, and on and on, letting each kid choose what they wanted. So whatever keepsake/piece of furniture/whatever meant the most to you, you were guaranteed of getting at least your 4th choice. Worked out great. After a few rounds, it just came down to “does anyone want xyz?”