I’ve just been pissy ever since last week and my day just isn’t getting any better. I hate winter. I’ve got no girlfriend. I’ve only got a small group of close friends. I’m too socially shy/akward to just go to a bar alone and pick up women. My Job sucks; my boss hates me. God, how do I get out of this funk? 
I din;t think this was bad enough to go in the pit.
I’m right there with you, blasphmr. I’ve been in a monumentally pissy mood for the past week as well. I do believe that mine is hormonally motivated, at least in part. :mad: :rolleyes:
As far as getting out of this funk, if my boss would just piss off, if my friends would stop being so lame, if my term paper write itself, and if I won the lottery, then I could see a light at the end of the tunnel.
Think I’ll have a glass of wine (whine?) instead.
I have… more like these past few months. I hate autism!!! It’s taken my angel away somewhere inside her own head and it won’t let her go. I just wanted my kiddo to be typical, if not perfect. No one is perfect, I know… yada yada, but I just wanted her to have boyfriends, go to prom, go to college, etc…
I’m sick of the agency runaround, the “hurry-up-and-wait” syndrome that infects every part of the disability world, the paperwork game you have to play if you are the parent of an autistic child (or other special needs). You need a service, fill out a tree’s worth of paperwork and then you W-A-I-T for months, and you may not even get it! Do I have the inner strength to keep this up? Do I have the emotional strength to fight for her rights and to even keep dealing with her condition when there are NO real answers or help out there???
I don’t work and I’m barely surviving. I’d give my friggin’ SOUL for her to not have this frustrating, mystifying, and wearying condition. Sometimes I can’t think straight, sometimes I don’t want to get out of bed in the morning but I do because she needs me. Do I have the strength to stay strong 100% of the time? It’s so damn hard and I worry all the time about everything! I’m not a happy person most of the time. I snap at friends and family, I’m tired all the time, I don’t do anything to take care of myself (get out without the kiddo, take time for myself)because I either feel guilty or I don’t have time.
People judge you when you have a child that isn’t “normal”, you get those fuckin’ looks from people who don’t have one FUCKIN’ iota of a clue! Not many people know what autism is or what it entails for the rest of one’s life. My daughter just picked up a handful of gravel at the park this week and I wanted to cry! Why??? Because it’s a HUGE breakthrough for her tactile defensiveness and people who don’t have autistic kids wouldn’t understand how huge a thing it is. They can take everything for granted, I can’t.
I’ve had to put my life on hold to become my daughter’s advocate for services and her rights. I’m the only one who will do it. Just finished school when she was diagnosed so my life took a big 180 into SUCKVILLE. I know what you may be thinking… I’m lucky she can walk, talk (she is starting to), eat without help, get out of bed unlike some kids who have Cerebral Palsy or worse, and all that but it’s still a devastating thing. As her teacher puts it, having an autistic child is the “death of a dream”.
So yeah… I’ve been in a bad mood for awhile.
It’s been 5 weeks since I got a paycheck. When I was getting them, I was making $160 a month. I just haven’t gotten called since halfway through December. The only job I can find is as a substitute teacher’s aide. There’s nothing I even come close to qualifying for that I haven’t applied for in a half hour radius. Nothing.
I paid almost everything I made on my student loans when I was getting paid. I sent in deferrment requests. One is still in the works, the other informed me that even though they happily let me fill out the online form, my loan isn’t eligible for one.
I’m almost 22 years old, and I live at home with my parents. Yes, I already know I’m a loser, you don’t need to help me on that. But as I have no income, no real prospects anywhere else, and not enough savings to dare move on without an assurance of a job coming with the expenses I have (between student loans and medical stuff it gets to be a lot on zero income, you know?)
I have no health insurance, which means I have nothing but the medication I need to stay functional, and even that I only have because I found it cheaper than I can get it at the local pharmacy and my parents chipped in on it.
I either can’t sleep at all nights, I assume from the stress, or else I eventually just crash and sleep 17 hours solid and wake up just as tired as I started.
I’m in near constant pain, for reasons I am entirely unaware of, and can’t get checked out, because of that having neither health insurance nor money thing.
So yeah. I’m sick, unemployed, and don’t have a lot of hope of anything improving right now. I’d say I’m in a bad mood as a result, yeah.
I was happy two days ago. And because I was so over excited and happy, I’ve come crashing down and now I feel empty and nauseous. I haven’t had a “day off” in about a month. Monday, go to school > Tuesday, go to work > Wednesday, go to school > Thursday, go to work > Friday, go to school > Saturday, not supposed to be working but got called in for the past few weeks > Sunday, go to work > back to Monday and the cycle goes on. I also feel stupid because everyone around me is so smart. I feel left out by my friends because I’m working and going to school so much. And in general, I’m just crashing and burning.
I’m not real happy either.
I’ve got no money, I’m tired of never buying any small thing for myself. I’m tired of trying to strech pennies into dollars and not know when it’s going to end.
I don’t want to be cold anymore and I don’t want anyone else in the family to get the flu or strep throat or a cold or a cough.
Sad family events has taken place far too often this year.
I’ve been fighting a lot with my husband lately, it got so bad that I dropped a chocolate cake on his head. Kinda funny, but very childish.
I’m lonely and bored and depressed.
I know what you mean. My son has Cerberal Palsy. He’s almost 4 and still cannot walk or talk clearly. He now has braces for his feet and can cruise along furniture and walk holding someone’s hand, which is a lot of progress for him. I’ve been teaching him sign language and he is very communicative, just not verbally. For the last 3 months, I’ve been battling his neurologist who insists on calling him “regressive” instead of “progressive” because he is no longer saying the 3-5 words that he could actually speak. He doesn’t speak but he does know about 25 signs now. He has no problem learning new ones.
Before he got his braces he could barely cruise along furniture. Now he is able to walk holding on with only one hand. To me, that’s clearly progress. His therapists think so too.
However, his neurologist thinks it’s regression and wants more testing done. We’ve had every test imaginable done and he’s even been enrolled in a special genetics study. The only test left is a muscle biopsy which is incredibly painful and invasive. I see no reason to pursue it, but his neurologist thinks it’s a good idea. We’ve gone several rounds about it. His next appointment with the neurologist is in a couple of weeks and I’m preparing myself for battle yet again.
So, I’m pissy about that this week (and every week).
And hugs to you, SanguineSpider.
Christ. I read the OP and as I have actually been in a very bad mood lately, snapping at everybody and just generally not being a Good Person I was going to start something of a rant; I don’t get paid enough, I don’t have a girlfriend, I don’t have time for my hobbies etc. Reading the rest of the thread, however, made me realise the following:
I don’t get paid enough - but I still get just over 2.000 $ a month. Some people wouldn’t complain.
I don’t have a girlfriend - but that’s just because I’m a lazy bastard and never go out anymore, I could rectify that in a jiffy if I just got off my ass and did something about it.
I don’t have time for my hobbies - Hell, my only hobby is football (soccer to you, I think) and at least I can watch plenty of it. The only proper way for me to play football this time of year in Iceland is to start training with a competitive team in the third division and I’m too heavy and smoke too much to do that now.
Some people have promblems and have a reason to be in a bad mood. I’m putting on my most charming smile and intend to keep it on. Thanks for putting things in perspective for me.
SanguineSpider and Greywolf73 - I sincerely wish you all the best, I’d probably crumble in an instant in your situations.
Wow, tough thread here. I was about to start my own rant but in retrospect things aren’t as bad for me as for you guys, it just feels that way sometimes. I have a bill paying phobia of some kind. I always imagine that I miscaculated, forgot to pay someone, or some other travesty. I have shitty, shitty credit and I’m trying to repair it but man its a slow process. Its almost entirely my own fault and my own very bad bahavior over the years. I actually laid awake for hours last night worrying about a student loan payment. Since I’m so bad in order to recover my credit rating with the loan people they are taking automatic deductions from my checking account each month, supossedly on the 15th. They regurarly screw it up and put the check in whenever they feel like it. It wasn’t posted by last night and so I worried…if I screw up this time I’m off the rehabilitation program. They finally submitted it this morning almost a week late. Sigh…keep your chins up everyone.
Sorry for all your woes. Try exercising…just a little bit will help. I didn’t really believe it, but since I’ve been exercising the last two months, I’m not as depressed as I usually am in the winter. It releases endorphins or something. I dunno, but it works (and I was as anti-exercise as a person can get!).
I’ve found that things generally go in cycles. All of you who are on a bad-luck streak will start to see the wheel turn. Things will get better.
Enough of this optimism. Everyone pour yourself a strong one and have a pity party. Then dust yourself off and get back in the saddle. Peace.
** Greywolf73 **
My son, who is 4 year old now, came 16 weeks early and is developmentally delayed, blind and until 8 months ago was have seizures almost constantly. When my daughter, 9 years old, was still in utero an ultra sound discovered that she had bleeding in her brain. This was at 6 months. When delivered we did not know what to expect but she appeared okay. We spent the next 4 years with neurologists, therapist and developmental pediatricians. This prepared me in some small way with how to deal with my son and his pack of doctors. My daughter appears perfectly normal and is not having any problems in school, straight As.
What I learned about doctors and therapists is that they do not know all of the answers. Another thing to remember is that the person who knows the most about your son is you. Any doctor that does not listen to your opinion most likely needs to be replaced with another one. My son’s first neurologist told me that my son would never walk, talk, be able to feed himself and most likely not be a productive human being. This was when he was one week old and barely hanging onto to life. The neo-natologists who ran the NICU told me she was a very good neurologist so we stuck with her. Then the seizures started and she seemed to think that was expected and so nothing needed to be done. It was time to find a more proactive doctor and that’s what I did. The new doctor put my son on a ketogenic diet which has stopped all seizures and now my son is back on track developmentally, though still at a 2 and a half year old level. He knows the sign for more and used it when he wants something to be repeated. He understands what is said to him and reacts appropriately. This neurologist listens to what I say about my son and provides feedback based on that and not what the standard treatments that may be in vogue.
I use this same method on his teachers and therapist too. If they do not take heed to what I say then they are gone. They see him a few hours a week and I observe him a lot more than that and know what he can and can’t do.
So Greywolf trust your instincts and stop fighting with the doctor. You need one that listens to you and values your input.
SanguineSpider
Girl you need to get out and do some things for yourself. Focusing all your energy on your daughter is going to burn you out, which in the long run is not good for her either. Also try not to judge people too harshly when they don’t understand how something like picking up gravel is such a great progressive step for your Angel. They just have not been exposed to an autistic child and do not understand. In fact taking the time to explain may even enlighten them.
My son used to be very tactile defensive. I have huge bowls that I put things he hates to touch in along with toys that he really loves. Over time he got use to digging through the “bad stuff” to get to the good stuff. You can also put things like rice or uncooked pasta in bowls and bury things she wants in them to get her to dig.
To the rest of you having bad moods:
My wife left me for another man and the divorce was final in November. I was really in a bad mood for about two years up to that point. What I did to get myself back on track was to start exercising on a daily basis. I also made it a point to get out and be around people. Also made it a point to say hello, smile and start up conversations wherever I went. I am now on a very upward mood swing. I am making friends daily and having a great time and really enjoying life. That’s the trick, do not let the negative thoughts churn through you head. Try and stop the negative internal dialogue and replace it with positive thoughts. This is hard at first but will pay off in the long run.
Only you can make yourself happy, not someone else.
Even if you do, it’s no guarantee anything is going to result from it. That may go a long way to explaining my extended state of funk.
Everybody else, the only thing I can say is to stick through it and hope that every day it gets a little bit better.
Thank you, everyone, for your good thoughts and support. It’s just been so hard to keep up the smiles lately. Greywolf73 and JackaRoe, where do you both get your strength to keep going from? I swear, I’m at the end of my rope sometimes. I cry all the time, I’m depressed all the time (when my angel’s at school, then I let myself grieve… I don’t want her to see me upset). I’m still in the “life’s not fair” stage of this but I don’t see the end of it in sight. I feel like I will always be sad about the death of my dreams for her, as her teacher puts it. She deserves nothing but the best in life and this condition just kills me. Why her? It isn’t fair and I hate it. I love her so much, she’s my angel, why her goddamn it…
The one thread of hope in all this is that she’s high functioning. She’s pretty aware of everything and has many good days. She wants to communicate and interact. I just wish I could find the key to unlock the real her and be done with all of this. Am I selfish to want that? It’s maddening and heartbreaking, and I worry so much about her future. I feel like I need a therapist just to get my mind straight sometimes. It’s just not fair.
BTW, JackaRoe, I tried emailing you back and got a delivery error back. Is your email the same?
Sorry about my hijack above , but if you want some advice about getting out of your funk try this site. http://www.goaskalice.columbia.edu/Cat4.html
There is a lot of good advice here and you will realize that you are not alone in how you feel. Just surf around the questions people ask and I think you may get some ood ideas on how to change your current situtaion.
One last tip. Do not go to a bar with the mindset of “I am here to pickup women”. They can tell and you won’t meet anyone worth picking up. Instead your mind set should be I am going out to meet people. Go to a bar that has things that match your taste. I like bluegrass music and frequent a batr that has live bluegrass bands playing. The people there have simalr likes as myself and it makes it much easier to star conversations. Make it a point to sit near people and talk to them. Say things like "Hello this is my first time here, my name is " and take it from there.
Also do not be negative, you used alot of negative terms in your post. Nobody wants to be with negative people.
I’ve been in a bad mood too, and just generally down. I even started THIS thread about it. People have posted ways to cheer myself up. Maybe they could cheer you up.
Mine are pretty small potatoes compared with the burdens some of y’all are carrying (with grace and aplomb, my best wishes to you), but I have been wanting to join in on a bitchfest:
As of yesterday I’m 37 weeks pregnant with twins, which means I’m roughly the size of a yacht & parts of me that I didn’t even know I had have swollen to bizarre proportions. Since I can’t see “down there” I tried to conjure up a view using our WebCam, which totally freaked my Hubby out - I think he’s still convinced I accidentally sent images of my crotch to that Mars rover (which would explain the breakdown, since the only visuals I could get were dark and blurry). I still don’t know what’s going on in my nether regions, but I’m beginning to think that’s probably a good thing. I can’t sleep, I have no appetite, it’s almost impossible for me to roll over in bed, and because of high blood pressure I’m supposed to be on “bed rest”, which means I get to sit and stare at the messes I can’t clean up (our cats are engaged in a three-event barf-a-thon; there’s “hairballs”, “half-digested dry food” and “nearly liquid wet food guaranteed to soak right into the carpet” ). And, it recently occurred to me that all the prenatal tests in the world can’t promise a positive outcome to this pregnancy - we’ve been fortunate and blessed to eliminate known negatives, but as Carl Sagan liked to say, absence of evidence isn’t evidence of absence. Shoot, we could get through childhood & manage to dodge the known hazards only to have our kids become Republican stockbrokers & corporate raiders down the road! What do you want to bet I’ll be the hippie holdout whose land they must acquire to build the latest WalMart?
Oh, yes, and the OB I’m scheduled to see tomorrow (one of five in the group practice) is an incredibly good-looking guy. Now do I need that? If he would just mess up his hair, or get a big nose zit, I’d feel much better.
Yesterday at school I had to break up my first fight, in my own classroom. What insanity causes two kids who were so pleasant yesterday to go so crazy with rage that they don’t even notice when they’re hitting me and not each other?
Now in about ten minutes I have to leave to go back to school, and I don’t want to. I want to stay right here at home where I feel safe from violence.
Am I in a bad mood?
Am I in a bad mood?
Am I in a bad mood?!
HELL YES, I’M IN A BAD MOOD! DOWN WITH WESTERN CIVILIZATION!!! SMASH ALL LAW & SOCIAL ORDER!
NEXT, WE BURN ROME!! FORWARD BARBARIANS!! ON TO PILLAGE!!!
I’m sorry, I’ve forgotten what we were talking about. More tea?
We need a new thread for people who are out of sorts and want to grumble, but don’t actually have any serious problems of any sort.
How could I possibly complain about anything compared to what some of you are going through? Wow… I respect and salute you.