I’m doing okay. Work just bumped me to 40 hours. My roommates and I are making plans for a trip that will give us memories that will last a life time. I’m almost out of debt and bills are almost all paid. And yet I’m just feeling shitty. I mean, I really just don’t feel like being at work today. There’s nothing wrong, it isn’t a regular feeling or anything it’s just a blah day.
I could blame this ugly overcast day here in Atlanta, but I’m rarely affected by the weather. I don’t know what it is. Anyone else having one of those days?
I’ve got 15 hours of classes and I just started a new job, 13.5 hours on Saturday and 8 on Sunday. Maybe I’m just lazy, but the loss of those two days to relax is getting to me more than I thought it would.
On top of that, I have to write a story for my Fiction Writing class. Of course, I procrastinated. It’s due Monday, I can’t work on it this weekend because of work, and about an hour ago I came to the conclusion that the idea I was working with and everything I’d written up to that point was utter shit. So I’m starting over. Dammit.
Office was robbed sometime early this morning, underwire on the left side of my bra has decided to try and escape via my armpit, and the receptionist just quit which means I’ll be covering her job as well as mine until they find a replacement (the last replacement took five months to find).
Really in the dumps last night. I even posted about it because I felt so bad. I had to take xanax for the anxiety attack. Even with that I got no sleep, so I felt groggy and headachey all day. I tore open the seat of my favorite corduroy pants ACROSS the grain (and my hindquarters). My eyelids swelled up. I hiccuped for an hour. ( imagine how cool I looked at work today). But making this list has me feeling better already
Yep me too. Lost my job earlier this week, got severance pay so I am ok for a bit but I am just depressed. I can’t enjoy the free time becuse I feel like I ought to be doing something. I had planned to go by the career center at the local college where I took some classes a couple of years ago and see if they had any listings different from the paper and other online places but it is raining cats and dogs right now and I haven’t gottne around to hooking up my new answering machine yet. I am cold and I need to take a shower. Just bleech right now waiting for the phone to ring. I feel like I am back in high school waiting for “that” guy to call to ask me out now I am waiting for them to call to offer me a job. Hopefully with more success.
I am down in the dumps today too, despite the beautiful unseasonably warm weather. I had to hand deliver some parts we forgot to ship yesterday. Last week my girlfriend dumped me because I’m not religious enough for her, and I still miss having her around. I had to borrow money from my folks so I don’t bounce a check tomorrow (already bounced 2 earlier this week – outrageous bank fees). Luckily I have been super busy today so I don’t sit around stewing about all this stuff. My guest status expires tomorrow, so I am going to used borrowed money to get a membership :wally
My rheumatoid arthritis is flaring up badly, which led my rheumatologist to put me on a bunch of scary drugs, one of whose side effects is insomnia, apparently. I am always exhausted, but last night I sat up until 3:30am, unable to fall asleep. I had to call in for a half day of work and still only got 5 hours. I tried to take a nap when I got home but the pain was too bad.
Other than that, everything’s fine. Really, it is. I just want to sleep!
Y’know, if you’d asked last week, the answer would have been yes. I was tired, and nothing was working out right, and I was worrying constantly about everything. I was just in a holding pattern, putting one foot in front of the other, and trying to keep my head above water. (Hah! A trifecta of mixed metaphors: Air, land and sea!)
But now I’m in a kind of freaky manic stage. I’ve been getting tons of work done, but so much that it’s kind of disturbing. I’ve also done some stuff that, in retrospect, was a little weird. For example, I missed the bus yesterday, so I walked to work. It was about a mile and a half, and took me just over a half hour, and I was only a couple minutes late in the end, so it all worked out okay, but I look back on it and think that I would not have done that in a normal state of mind.
I figure it’s only a matter of time before I’m vacuuming at 3 AM while simultaneously putting the finishing touches on my doctoral thesis and canning homemade apricot chutney. Either that or I’ll just crash bigtime and spend the rest of the month of February under my bed.
Partner’s getting burned out on the video business, and I can’t run it myself. Taxes have to be done, and it’s going to be difficult since my mom died in 2005. The film is way behind schedule. No (real) job. I still want to lose almost 60 pounds.
On the other hand, my best fiend is returning from a six-month internship and has an idea of starting up a non-profit entertainment-related business. I’ve offered him a room, since he’ll have no place to stay. An old girlfriend (like ten years ago) says the worst mistake she ever made was not marrying me. And she’s given up on women. ( :dubious: but we had a lot of fun together.)
But I seem to be having a bit of anxiety lately because of the first stuff.