Doctorate dissertations take several years. When he finishes, hopefully I’ll remember this thread and (with permission) post a link.
I know one person like that…they never contacted me, it was always me contacting them. I just assumed that they had no interest and were only responding to be polite, so I quit contacting them.
I’m the same way Opal exactly the same. I think it is something to do with social anxiety or something like that…I just don’t know.
Are you by any chance a Sagittarius?
Another big “me too” here, right down to the phone phobia and “it’s been so long now, how do I re-establish contact after all this time” stuff. In fact, this thread reminded me that I’ve been meaning to call my mother for the last, oh, three weeks or so.
I’m a big fat loser when it comes to maintaining friendships.
Me! sticks hand up in air I do things exactly like the ones mentioned here all the time…
Sometimes I just get an itch–I can’t really describe it–to be left alone when I should be interacting and chatting, and then I make myself but my heart’s not really in it, and it feels all awkward. And I don’t know if I’m getting more reserved as I get older or what.
Heh. Count me in. Just this morning I was making mental lists of all the people in my life who probably think I’ve forgotten about them.
I really do suck at keeping in touch…which sucks, because I love being in touch with people.
And I don’t mind the phone at all – I just rarely use it 
Not by a long shot. Color me someone else who thinks you’re writing from my head.
Oh, and ScareyFaerie,
There’s your problem, right there! 
I’m actually trying to get better about this, but it’s the worst with my girlfriends that prefer to email, because I’m a phonecall gal. I’ll talk and talk to you, and listen to you bitch and moan for hours, but I’m not writing more than a paragraph.
Where’s all the self-hatred coming from, people? We’re not great at keeping up friendships over time and space; so what? I meet people, I like them, we have some laughs, and maybe I’ll see them again, maybe not. If people I used to know come back into my life, super. If not, eh. I just consider myself a person who has serial friendships. I’m like this with hobbies, too - get into it, get all enthused over it, do it all the time, and then lose interest. I don’t think it’s a character flaw.
Phlsophr, I don’t put any stock in astrology, but I am actually a Sagittarius. 
Nope–Aquarius
raise hand
It’s just I don’t want to bother people. Also think that if people want to be around me they would contact me, right?
You’re not alone, OpalCat (as ironic as that sounds). I went for 20 years as an adult without even having a telephone. The only reason I got one finally was because I got a computer and needed a way to access the internet.
As soon as people found out I had a phone, they all demanded my phone number (so they could call me if they wanted to…gee, thanks for asking). I got an unlisted number, and mostly keep the ringer turned off. My phone is for MY use, not everyone elses. Then, my sister got me an answering machine so that everyone could leave me messages. Evidently, everyone is mad at me because after three years, I still haven’t hooked it up yet.
I put it down to having a panicked childhood: my parents never paid attention to me unless they were mad, so any unexpected attempt at contact with me (whether it be a phone ringing or someone knocking at the door) sends chills down my spine, and my immediate reaction is to be silent and hide.
Email doesn’t bother me so much, since I can read it in privacy, and message boards are the same way: my participation is voluntary. Phone calls and knocks on the door don’t give me that option: I don’t like being cornered.
As to the “not wanting to bother people” thing, I’ve got that, too. I have tried my best my whole life to avoid imposing on anyone, but I seem to be the person that everyone resents the most as the biggest imposition, anyway.
I don’t understand that at all, because they are WAY more of an imposition on me.
Evidently, that’s not important for some reason.
As an adult I don’t have this reaction, but I can relate to the childhood thing. My reaction to hearing my mom’s car pull into the carport when I was a child was to hide. Hide and wait until she had come in and gone to her room. Otherwise chances were she’d find something to be mad and yell at me about.
What’s so bad about Carnegie Mellon? Will knowing the answer to that question help me understand why Zsuzsi can’t talk to me like a normal person?
Goodness, I never knew I had multiple personality disorder before.
But you are all me.
I’m like this, too. I’ve had some really fun friendships in my early 20s, but I never kept in touch. I’ve moved a couple of times and the friendships were never continued. I’ve rarely kept in touch with former co-workers unless they contact me.
When my husband and I have had friends in the last 6 or 7 years, we’ve invested more of ourselves than the other people involved and we’ve been burned, so we decided that we’d rather not cultivate friendships that will end up being a pain in the ass anyway.
My husband and I are best friends anyway, so that works out just fine for us. Although, now that we have a baby, we’re trying to be more social. Do you know how weird it is for two social-phobes with a baby being accosted by old ladies gushing over how cute our baby is? We’re getting used to it, though.
Me. I got called out by a friend a few weeks ago and royally taken to task for being such a shitty friend :(.
I am, also, a Sagittarius :). My husband and are are pretty much loners by nature. We spend all our time together and I have a very solitary sort of hobby. I like being alone and I really dislike being in large groups. I have a few close friends, but otherwise am happier to spend my time reading, crafting, or with a hawk.
I love my friends, but I am generally terrible at keeping in contact.
I’m pretty similar, too. I also wish to echo the part where you think you might annoy people and don’t wish to impose.
I have a similar problem. I used to do telephone tech support so you’d think I’d be over it. Since I don’t like to talk on the phone, I just assume other people don’t as well so I rarely call.
I called my grandmother after several months of not having seen her. Far from interrupting her, my mom told me later that that it made her day. I really should do that more often.