So, here at work we were discussing the Star Wars Trilogy (hey, it’s Friday, you kill time anyway you can), and I brought up the “Wookie Christmas” special on TV.
Blank stares.
No one had any idea what I was talking about. No one had ever even heard about it. I started thinking maybe I dreamed it or something.
So I did a little Google search and, Voila! I was right. Apparently though, The Star Wars Holiday Special is something Lucas and the boys would like us to forget.
Reading the synopsis, I vaguely remembered parts of the plot as described (hey, I was 10, give me a break). I don’t remember the part about “Wookie Porn” that the writer mentions though.
If you never saw it (and now, sadly, probably never will), or, like me, saw it but only had vague recollections, give it a gander. I’m still laughing over this review/synopsis.
I have a copy of this, you can often find bootleg videos of it at your better comic book or science fiction stores.
It’s amazingly awful. It’s not even nostalgic to watch. Well, maybe for about 3 minutes. It’s just weird, but weird in a boring way. And it does indeed have Wookie Porn.
The best part about the tape is that it’s complete with the commercials that ran during the show. Remember the Reggie Bar – the round candy bar named for Reggie Jackson?
The one thing I regret (aside from actually watching this) is that when I bought this tape, there was another tape with Hardware Wars that I didn’t buy. For those of you who don’t remember when HBO was “off the air” (although that should be cable, I suppose) during the day, Hardware Wars was a film short that spoofed Star Wars (duh). Along with Close Encounters of the Nerd Kind, HBO would play these little featurettes between movies.
All I remember from this special is the Wookiees sitting around a table lifting something that looked like a giant fondue pot with lights on it, because 'twas Light Day, and Bea singing in the Cantina.
Now, y’all know Bea Arthur is a legitimate Broadway singer, right? There’s a thread going on over at rec.arts.theatre.musicals about “Great Croakers of the Theatre” and she’s right up there with Elaine Stritch. Her version of Golde from “Fiddler” is not my favorite but she’s done some very decent stuff and is a good character singer. All I remember from her song are that the chorus was “Let’s say goodnight my friends, goodnight but not goodbye!” and her coralling various drunken aliens (OK, maybe they always walk that way) and shoving them gently towards the door.
It was pretty weird but it was the Seventies and you could see LIDSVILLE and PUFNSTUF and their kin every Saturday, so you have to understand the context. I was 14 and just old enough to laugh manaically at it.
I do remember seeing it, though the only part I can recall, is that some storm troopers busted in to Chewies families house and broke baby chewies stuffed doll, then my little brother started crying about it The rest has faded from memory, though I would love to see it again.
I seem to remember an interview in which Lucas said that he had originally intended to set The Return of the Jedi on the Wookie homeworld. But, since he wanted to do the “primitive heros versus high-tech villains” theme, and since the Christmas special had established Wookies as a technologically advanced culture, Lucas felt that he had to invent the Ewoks.
So, if you hate the Ewoks as much as I do, you can blame it on the Christmas special.
On the other hand, the Wookie’s treetop city was really cool. It made the Ewoks’ trees look like shrubs.
Ahh…yes. I had just been admitted to the hospital with pnuemonia, and my room-mate and I watched it in all its grainy splendor on our shared T.V. set. I was wearing an oxygen mask, which made the overall experience even more surreal. I remember only tiny bits and pieces of it. I think that is a blessing.
I can’t believe I’m gonna admit this, but growing up we actually had “The Star Wars Christmas Album”! :eek:
…and we listened to it EVERY year.
I still get misty-eyed thinking back to times we sang along to such classics as “Christmas in the Stars”, “R2D2, We Wish You A Merry Christmas”, as well as C3PO narrating an inter-galactic version of “Twas the Night Before Christmas”.
But the most beautiful of all was just a few years ago - on “The Daily Show”, back when Ol’ Cap’n Snarky himself, Craig Kilborn, was still hosting. I nearly fell out of my chair when, for their “Moment of Zen”[sup]TM[/sup], they played my all-time favorite:
“What Do You Get A Wookie For Christmas (When He Already Owns A Comb?)”
The rest has faded from memory, though I would love to see it again.
