As usual, I turn to the Dope for a kickstart.
Twin A is going into 8th grade. It’s a really good public school that is 6-12, with less than 100 kids per grade, and requires winning a very over subscribed lottery to get in, and pulls kids from across the district. Trouble makers or kids that really don’t want to be there tend to get weeded out.
6th grade seemed to be all girl drama all the time. 7th grade was a bit better, and kidlet has a district therapist session every two weeks. Sleep issues made us go to the sleep clinic, and we were referred to a child psychology intake session at the Children’s Hospital 16 months ago, but my wife (who has depression and taking drugs) hates therapy and vehemently opposed any further psychiatry.
Eldest daughter clued me in on just how much anxiety is percolating thru Twin A’s veins. Long story short, we’ve finished 2nd week of 8 weeks of teen group therapy on recognizing/coping with anxiety (parents have a separate session at the same time). Need to complete the group before moving on to 1:1 if warranted. Twin A really likes her group, I’m learning a lot, and we’re working thru an anxiety treatment process and plan. Mom thinks it is useless, but we’re getting divorced so I no longer allowing Mom to be a blocker. The Anxiety group will not cover eating disorders but I got a referral today to the Children’s eating disorder program (with a long wait list).
Well, 6 months ago Twin A decided she wanted to become a pescatarian. I have no issue with that and when younger was pretty hardcore vegetarian and then loosened to pescatarian for 10 years. Twin A is now trying to cut out the seafood, which is stressing Mom out and inconveniencing our lifestyle. Twin A also yesterday explained that she understands intellectually one of the big drivers is to “take control” but she’s not about to be bulimic or anorexic (education has worked on raising up those issues I guess).
Twin A, Twin B and eldest sister went camping in Banff for a week earlier this month. We generally ate breakfast and dinner at the campsite, but also a couple of meals in town and on the road.
Very pronounced food avoidance that has gotten worse this summer. Every meal in a restaurant or fast food had some form of “i’m not very hungery” “I don’t feel like eating” “I feel sick”. This included when we made a special stop at A&W which was running a national ad campaign about their veggie burger. She didn’t finish the burger, picked at some fries, and only had a sip or two of the root beer…and that was probably her best eating. Breakfast would be one egg and a strip of veggie bacon. Dinner would be partially eaten small portions.
She enters what she eats into her phone “to make sure I get 2,200 calories per day.” So, at best she is tracking calories to hit the minimum, which I suspect is also her maximum. She does snack several times a day, but no longer makes a couple of eggs after school like she did 6 months ago.
She skipped lunch at school a lot I found out belatedly. She doesn’t like to wait in line, and also claimed if she ate then would feel sick in PE.
Twin A and I agreed 2-3 months ago that she would eat something at regular meal times. I make her breakfast in the morning. Portions are getting smaller. She used to have at least an egg, small glass of milk, maybe so yogurt or toast. Now its more like one piece of toast and small glass of milk. I make sure she has granola bars, instant Pho, apples, etc at school. Sometimes she will take her lunch to school but usually not.
Last night, she made fried rice for Twin B, herself and me. I made vegetables and a tofu mushroom dish. She at a small rice bowl of fried rice, 3-4 chunks of broccoli and said she was full. I told her we have a serious problem, she rolled her eye multiple times but listened a little. Tonight she ate a modest amount of pesto pasta, a more regular helping of cauliflower, and a couple of chunks of tofu.
That’s pretty long winded. I’m concerned and it’s getting worse. There’s almost too much eating disorder stuff on the interwebs, so turning to the SDMB for experienced suggestions and a useful website or three. As always, thank you in advance.