Now, I wonder, just wonder, what is inside that bottle. Maybe we could carpet spam the guys email to find out. I’d pay as high as fifty cents to watch it being opened.
**
**
This is the funniest thing I’ve ever seen. **Bosda ** Thanks. I am stealing this to use generously and with extra helpings.
Woooooo!
Everyone is hopping on the ghost in a jar band wagon over at Ebay.
Bwahahaha! Since one of my friends got me hooked on craft fairs, I’ve been trying to think of something I could make and sell, given my limited artistic talents. I think I’ve found it. And to think when I was a kid, we settled for pet rocks.
From reading the seller’s comments, I have two observations:
Observation number one: this guy has played Planescape:Torment.
Second observation: It’s great to have one of those journals that crumble entirely apart only after you’ve read them all the way through.
If I were to offer such a journal to fellow members of this board, what should be in it? Y’know, something that proves your case beyond a shadow of a doubt, but doggone it, the pages just happened to crumble.
I think it’s a great idea. Now I have the journal that proves I really was at the library that night …
Yes, it’s me.
I’ve been watching all the hoopla surrounding my predicament, and I feel it’s time I clear a few things up:
Number one -
I am real, as you can see. The reason you haven’t heard from me till now is that I had a hard time getting an account with Earthlink. It wasn’t because I’m a vaporous spirit, as you may have assumed. It’s just that I decided to activate my account by phone, and it took me over 6 days to get in touch with an actual human being. And you mortals think we spirits are hard to summon!
Secondly, I want to make it very, very clear. The “black thing” in the other jar that everyone seems to be scared of… he’s a punk. Once my new “owner” opens the lid to my jar, well, let’s just say that I’m going to teach him or her the meaning of the word “bitch”. I didn’t spend 15 years at Folsom and not learn how to put somebody in their place (thanks Brutus, wherever you are). Oh and one more surprise waiting for the idiot foolish enough to open up the jar, I smell like old farts.
And as far as that jack-knob that’s trying to auction me off and turn a profit from my misery, he’s going to be sorry, because being from the nether world, I have some insight into what’s going to become of him. He’s going to find out that the bid for almost a billion dollars was really legitimate (Bill Gates is a fan of the occult. Despite his hate for Steve Job, he really likes most other ghouls). So ol’ mister e-bay capitalist man is going to go nuts when he finds out, literally nuts, the kind of nuts that has you chewing on dog turds on the sidewalk in downtown LA at 2 in the morning talking to yourself, and then you finally get some fleabag hotel room and get a hold of a laptop and then start writing in to a bunch of cheesy message boards all the while sitting there naked holding your… wait… I digress. Anyway trust me, this guys on the fast-track to Seratonin City, and that’s no treat, no matter how you slice it.
One last comment. Velma, if you ever get that ice chest open, I’ll likely be looking for some new digs in the near future. Let’s talk.
Sincerely,
TGITJ
I bottled my farts in a jar for over a year. It was a white, amorphous, swirling cloud when it was done.
Think of the money I could have made on Ebay…
Think of your Federal Conviction for selling Weapons Of Mass Destruction–i.e. poison gas. 
Oh, it’s open all right, and currently residing in the garage. I would be glad to rent it out, but of course it would be pricey now that I know what I could get for it on Ebay. You might want to talk to Cooler of Death - he can tell you more about the place.
I might actually have a new place for you, as hubby is on a fishing trip again with a different cooler. He comes back tonight. Who knows what new horror awaits?
Thanks for the kind offer Velma, but I’ve found a place which is much more disgusting than the cooler o’ fish. It’s smelly, hot, cramped, and there are so many scary creatures around that my presence won’t even raise an eyebrow.
That’s right, I’ve found an apartment in the San Fernando Valley.
SoCal, represent!
Dear ghost,
Please do not make this your last appearance on the SDMB.
We are well suited for the supernatural.
You don’t have to post, just read. This is called “lurking”, which is very much in your line of work, or so I am led to believe.
Our BBQ Pit Forum gets quite hot (as does Great Debates), and is both crowded & stinking (unlike Great Debates).
As for scary creatures, we got 'em by the gross, any style you please.
Ask about “Moderators” sometime.
And there is an ongoing discussion on whether Cecil Adams is human, Divine, or immaterial. You two may have lots in common!
So Welcome to the SDMB, & happy haunting!
yours,
Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor
Dear ghost,
Please do not make this your last appearance on the SDMB.
We are well suited for the supernatural.
You don’t have to post, just read. This is called “lurking”, which is very much in your line of work, or so I am led to believe.
Our BBQ Pit Forum gets quite hot (as does Great Debates), and is both crowded & stinking (unlike Great Debates).
As for scary creatures, we got 'em by the gross, any style you please.
Ask about “Moderators” sometime.
And there is an ongoing discussion on whether Cecil Adams is human, Divine, or immaterial. You two may have lots in common!
So Welcome to the SDMB, & happy haunting!
yours,
Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor
Dear ghost,
Please do not make this your last appearance on the SDMB.
We are well suited for the supernatural.
You don’t have to post, just read. This is called “lurking”, which is very much in your line of work, or so I am led to believe.
Our BBQ Pit Forum gets quite hot (as does Great Debates), and is both crowded & stinking (unlike Great Debates).
As for scary creatures, we got 'em by the gross, any style you please.
Ask about “Moderators” sometime.
And there is an ongoing discussion on whether Cecil Adams is human, Divine, or immaterial. You two may have lots in common!
So Welcome to the SDMB, & happy haunting!
yours,
Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor
Now that all those EBay links are inactive, could one of you possibly enlighten the latecomers (such as me) as to what this Ghost in a Jar thing was all about?
Just last night on the old Art Bell show, some guys called in saying they are selling a haunted couch on eBay. I’d get you a link (if there is one) but I hate eBay too much to go there- sorry.
Some fellow was auctioning a jar he said he foud in a graveyard, and that after digging it up he had been visited by spirits.
I’d make a joke about what kind of spirits in a bottle he was indulging in, but the whole thing was hokey beyond belief. For instance, he said he also found a journal with the bottle but it crumbled to dust after he read it (how convenient) and the auction winner would get the notes he had written from memory about the journal.
I think the jar eventually sold for around $5,000.
Bosda, that was a masterpiece!!!
:o I blush! :o
The Ghost in a Jar fan Site (google it) has some of the auctions archived. Just so’s you know.
Don’t ask me why I know this… it’s too embarrassing.