AP Headline: "Simpson Finally Sings on `Today' Show"

Godammit. I clicked on the article expecting, "Yes, Matt, I did kill Nicole and Ron . . . "

“…I did it *myyyy * wayy!”

*I used to looooove her
but I had to kiiiiill her . . . *

And now I’m happier this way!

“Now, axe me another question.”

I’m old. When I see “Simpson,” I think:

  1. Homer
  2. O.J.
  3. Senator
  4. Wallis

“Jessica” is not even on my list.