Apparently, I'm a Happy Drunk

I turned 21 this past Thursday. It isn’t a very big deal to me or anything but my cousin decided that as my birthday present, he’d take me out to a club, bar, or something’ and get me drunk… well last night was the night and it was an… uh… interesting experience.

We got to the Billiards Club at about 9:00 PM and ordered some food and drink… he got a White Russian, which he stuck with the whole night through, and I ordered a margarita. I drank mine down in about ten minutes’ time and then decided I wanted to try a shot of tequila, the good stuff… Jose Cuervo. Holy shit, it feels like a nova going off in your stomach.

About that time our food arrived. We ate it and during that time just talked and checked out the people in the bar a bit. Most of the women were with other guys and instead of eyeing them and possibly getting my ass beaten by the drunken dope they were with, I focused mostly on the servers. The two women behind the bar were pretty cute and one of the girls waiting the tables was Asian, so I stared after her a bit too.

During this time, my slightly homophobic buddy also got hit on by a guy standing next to him ordering some beers. He was cordial to the guy but couldn’t help laughing nervously and downing his drink in one shot after the dude walked off. Myself, I laughed hysterically. He then reminded me he was paying for it all and I shut up.

After we had finished our food, we got back into drinking. Jason, my cousin, kept to his 'Russians and I decided I wanted to try a Guinness which one of my 'net friends, Fidel, loves. An interesting and slightly unpleasant taste… it went down smooth like water so I was able to finish it though.

Next up after the bottle of beer was a Screwdriver. It wasn’t all that great and I’ve discovered that, to me, vodka tastes like nothing more than isopropyl alcohol. I sucked it down despite the objections of my taste buds and then decided I’d just get the waitress to make me whatever… I know I wasn’t supposed to mix drink but I was hell-bent on getting drunk.

The first drink she brought was some pink concoction called a Wet ‘P’ on the ticket. The ‘P’ standing for pussy, I think. Only in the South would you go to a bar that censors itself… ugh. Anyway, the drink itself was sickly sweet, thus confirming Jason’s earlier comments that if you get a woman to fix you a random drink, it’ll be as such. I liked it regardless, sucked it down, and asked for random drink number two.

This one wound up being a Malibu which smelled and tasted almost identical to the previous Wet ‘P’. The only thing different about it was that it didn’t have the pink coloration to it. Another good drink and another sucking down thereof.

About this time, I’m finally starting to feel buzzed. I get up to walk to the bathroom and it sort of feels like I’m walking through knee deep water. I’m also totally relaxed and talking about a mile a minute. Passing the aforementioned Asian waitress, I have to stop myself from trying to awkwardly flirt with her so it seems that I’m a friendly drunk.

After I got back from the bathroom, I asked the bartender for another drink and this time got a Crown and Coke. I didn’t care for it at all and had to guzzle it down so that I could get to the next drink; The bartender, by this time, is looking at me a little strangely and wondering why I haven’t fallen off my stool from a stupor.

Regardless, she mixes me up another random drink and this one is a Blue Bazooka. I don’t remember this one much at all 'cause of my increasing drunkenness and just the indifference I felt towards its flavor. I don’t even remember knowing if I liked it or not.

Finally, after about ten drinks and two or three hours of being in the bar I hit the point where I am totally fucked up. I can’t stop talking (luckily my mind is still censoring my thoughts though) and I order one more miscellaneous drink (I think it wound up having a pirate or beach name and was brown) but don’t remember finishing it at all. I spilled ice on the bar, made a comment that I thought the waitress was laughing at me which she heard and denied while laughing even harder, and finally just had Jason pay the tab so we could head home.

On the way to his truck, I kept bumping into every car on the way with his persistent “Watch out!” ringing behind me. He was worried that I might set off the alarms some of the cars were presumably equipped with and as drunk as I was and as big as I am, I probably would’ve too. Also, right before getting in his ride to leave, I decided I needed to use the bathroom so I gave his rear left wheel a quick shower.

He wasn’t pleased.

On the thirty minute ride home, I kept him entertained with my drunken and sometimes incoherent monologue. I swear, my voice was so slurred that I sounded Scottish to my own ears.

Finally, we arrived at my house and he followed behind me to make sure I made it in, which I did after almost falling on the porch. Then I did fall three times in the house, puked a little in the bathroom, collapsed on my bed, and fell asleep within thirty minutes while hearing my parents laugh at his telling of our experience.

It was a fun night but not one I plan on undertaking again any time soon. Right now I have only a slight headache and a little bit of a dry mouth so I think I made out well in avoiding a hangover… the only ill effect from last night is that even thinking about the drinks is making me slightly nauseous.

Consider yourself lucky. In MY circle of friends, on your 21st birthday you got 2 mandatory drinks:

  1. a Matt drink. So called because they take what ever spills on the mat on the bar and pour it in a shot glass.

  2. a Screaming Viking - Milk, 151, and tabasco sauce. It’s the last drink of the night.:cool:

Good form, and welcome to the club! For a 21st it looks like you came off rather easily, as evidenced by the fact that you remember everything. Sounds like you had a good, safe time. I assume the driver wasn’t keeping up with you? :wink:

Oh, he was… he’s just had a decade of practice starting when he was fifteen. I’m a no-life loser so I waited until I was twenty-one. :slight_smile:

I can honestly say I’ve never had an experience like that. Oh I’ve been drunk before (and it depends what sort of drunk I can be. Usually I’m a happy/flirtatious drunk sometimes I’m just a depressed/quiet drunk) but I have never gone out for my b-day with friends.

Of course I only started really drinking in the past year (ie getting drunk) when I’ve been legal for just over 2 years (I’m 20. 18 is legal where I am). My 18th I spent with family and they took me out… to a casino. Yep. I got to blow some of my b-day money at a casino on my first day as a legal adult. My 19th I don’t recall what I did. I think I stayed home, or worked. And the past year I turned 20 on a Monday. I went to the local bar strip and got a couple of free shooters. Gave up after walking to half the bars and they told me that they don’t do those (apparently everyone I know who has done that is lying or the bars just don’t do that on weeknights)

Sounds like a fun night in general. Now you can go out and get into lots of trouble. Like naked hot tub parties. Those are fun! :smiley:

UB, those sound horrible! :eek: I’m glad I didn’t turn 21 around your group! I’ll stick with my beer. Since my birthday is St. Patrick’s Day, Guinness was (still is) the drink of the evening. Lots and lots of Guinness. :smiley:

Yeah, they were. :stuck_out_tongue:

But we made sure you could still taste that last drink!

I’m really suprised the OP didn’t get a cement mixer. They’re pretty standard b’day fair (Irish cream with a few drops of cranberry juice in the bottom.Drink, swish in mouth and the stuff Curdles. :eek: )

I’ve done the cement mixer before…really bad. I stay the hell away from the Bailey’s now!

We gave my roommate a C4 for his 21st.
151, Midori, Chambord, Rumplemintz, Jagermeister. Set on fire and drink with a straw. (hopefully before the straws melt…)

My little brothers friends had a tradition which included wearing a blank white t-shirt to the bars on the 21st birthday and carrying a permanent marker. After every drink, they would write down what the person said. It’s a pretty neat tradition.

He woke up the next morning, tried to remember the evening’s stupidity, and relaxed because he couldn’t remember anything dumb. And then he saw his shirt, and didn’t recognize half of the quotes written on the shirt. Needless to say, all of his friends still categorize his as the best of all their 21st birthdays…

Welcome to the wonderful world of drinking! Sounds like you had a great night, well any night out that ends with public urination is a great night in my book, but what do I know. Like ** Unintentionally Blank[\b] said you got off lucky with the drink choice your buddies gave you. My 21st included a pre-mixed cement mixer, made with Baily’s and lime (instead of cranberry) juice. Since it was premixed the cream curdeled and floated to the top, I had to chew through it before getting to the whisky on the bottom :frowning: In my group of friends this is always given first in the hopes that the birthday person will get sick and call it a night right away, thus making it a cheap night for the others.

From your post it looks like we’re the same type of drunk, so believe me you have a lot to look forward too :slight_smile: I seen in your future more public urination, more drunken flirting with hapless waitresses and probably a lot of falling down too, occiasionally all at the same time!

Your parked car stumble fest reminds me of a time I got a good buddy really drunk one night (a worknight to boot!) not his 21st or anything but the first time he’d done any serious drinking for several months. When we were walking back to my car he kept running into parking meters and apologizing to them, eventually he started dancing with them :slight_smile:

Sorry, I’m afraid we can’t let you do that. For the entire time you’re 21 you must spend a minimum of 3 out of 4 weekends so intoxicated that you can barely remember who you are and what you’ve done. This is a time when you’ll pick up some great stories to tell (after your friends, or the police have told you) down the road, interesting scars and other ‘drinking injuries’ and if you’re really lucky the name ‘Ruby’ tatooed on your forehead!

Cheers!

Did you get your Guinness out of a bottle (which I think you did from your post)?

If not, try it from the tap, and warm. Let it sit for 10-15 minutes, and sip it slowly. Guinness is one of those beers that actually takes time and effort to enjoy, but it is well worth it. Most good Irish pubs will pour a good one for you. If you go anywhere else, have the start a Guinness, wait a few minutes, and then top it off.

[minor hijack]
Oh, btw, after a long absence I have returned. To long acutally. Hello everyone![/hijack]