Birthday celebrations are fun -or- A horrible nightmare

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I was out last night celebrating a friend’s 21st. It was pretty standard birthday fare. We went to a bar, bought her some drinks, got really plastered, and sang along to “She Loves You” and “I’m Too Sexy.”

Wow, I have to break up this paragraph because on review, it totally sounds like I’m a girl at this point. Let the record show that I am not female. [checks under shorts] Yes, definitely male.

Anyway, at one point, I was pissing in the bathroom trough when “Ooh La La” came on. Alarms started going off in my head. My drunken brain told me, “OMG FINISH UP, GET OUT THERE AND SING, DAMN YOU!!!” Somehow, I managed to purge the remaining urine from my system (TMI?) and zip up without wetting the front of my shorts. I got out there just in time to belt out:

“I wish…that…I knew what I know now
a-when I was younger
I wish…that…I knew what I know now
a-when I was stronger”

Later, we took advantage of last call, then bought a case of beer and retired to my house for the afterparty. The night ended soon after that. Ultimately, Larry passed out in the bathroom, Libby and Donny retired to bed together, Matt and Mary retired as well, and Jim and Amanda initiated some awkward, so-drunk-we-can-barely-stand-up hookup that I’m certain wasn’t pretty this morning (can’t wait to hear about the logistics of this one). I was left by my lonesome in the living room, pondering the suckitude of having a girlfriend who’s studying abroad. After trying but failing miserably at pwning some Halo 2 n00bs, I willed myself up to my third floor bedroom for sleep. This is where it gets scary.

I think the alcohol in my system triggered some sort of Mundane Dream Switch or something. In the first one, I was at a bar with some friends, arguing with them because they wanted to go home. Pretty boring.

In the second, I was simply browsing the Dope, except something was different about the ol’ MB. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it, when I realized…gasp!!!

This is where there would be an extreme closeup on my eyes, wide with fright. The camera slowly pans to the computer screen to reveal…

(don’t want to spoil the surprise)

AVATARS!
(dum dum dummmmmmmm)

Let us never speak of this again.

Except in this thread.

2

And it was all a dream…

3

So do we click our ruby heels three times and say ‘there’s no place like home’ now?

4

This will do nicely as a link the next time a “why don’t you drink” thread comes up. :stuck_out_tongue:

5

Even worse is in the dream, I was excited that I could add an avatar. I thought, “Yes! Finally!” and started browsing my pictures.

One could make a case that drinking even impairs subconscious judgment.

6

Are you sure you’re not a girl?
Sounds like a pregnancy dream to me.

(mental note: drunk male congruent to pregnant female)

7

(requestioning gender)

(checks under shorts again)

Yeah, I’m pretty certain. Though, I haven’t had my period for a long time…