Share your bizarre dream

I’m just about as far from being a druggie as you can imagine. I don’t drink or smoke, let alone smoke pot or use anything else worth mention. Caffeine is the only drug I use recreationally.

Therefore, it’s really bizarre to have a detailed dream about cocaine and cocaine use and what cocaine is composed of. It was like a documentary made by crazy people: I doubt cocaine contains nonane and I know it’s never cut with Miracle Whip. I doubt communal druggies just spread it on the top of a dresser and take snorts every so often through the day. (Yes, they were snorting the Miracle-caine. I have no idea how that worked.) I rarely remember my dreams and they usually involve radio-frequency grasshoppers or me being climbed by aborted fetuses so I’m sad I don’t remember more of this one.

Are we sharing dreams that are “bizarre” because they are atypical for us personally, or just dreams that are generally bizarre?

For example, last night I had a dream that I transformed into a large were-bat and stalked victims by night, homing in on them with sonar and tearing them apart like fried chicken. This may or may not count as “bizarre” compared to the dreams of other people; but it was a fairly typical sort of dream by my standards-- fairly short, vivid in a few details but lacking in context, and featuring nudity.

On the other hand, a few nights ago I had a remarkably long and intricately detailed dream about living in a near-future hive-mind society that was threatened by an imminent asteroid collision. I’d characterize the details of the dream as somewhat less bizarre than turning into a bat and eating people, but such an extended and relatively coherent plotline (albeit that of a profoundly uncreative B-movie) is a very rare for me. It’s almost unheard of for me to have a dream with more than two major interrelated plot points without the Italian-cinema zombies showing up out of nowhere. Plus I got to wear a snappy Forbidden Planet-style future jumpsuit.

2 recent strange ones:

In the first, a buddy of mine had just been elected president of the U.S. The dream pretty much consisted of him and I hanging out in the oval office, occassionally being interrupted by Important White House People, which my buddy responded to by reaching under his presidential desk, pulling out a red rubber dodgeball, and pelting them in the face, after which they would scurry out of the room.

The second dream needs a little set up. There’s a Mexican restaurant in my neighborhood that I’ve been visiting about once a week. A young, pretty gal works there that I usually chat and flirt harmlessly with. She has green-lighted me at least twice, but I’ve ignored that because she’s 18, and I’m 34, and that’s too much of an age difference for me.

So…the dream: I go into the restaurant, begin to place my order, and the gal just grabs me and starts kissing me. I kind of protest, but at the same time I’m cool with it, and she pulls me back into the kitchen, where to my surprise there are a squad of police officers waiting to arrest me.
Me: I didn’t do anything wrong!
Cop: You were making out with a 14 year old, you pervert!
Me: 14?!?!? She’s older than that!
Cop: I’m afraid you’re wrong…and also, this isn’t a she…
[Cop pulls off her “head” - really a mask - Scooby-Doo style, and reveals a male hispanic youth]
Cop: He’s an underage illegal alien!

:smack:

Ooh, I love bizarre dream threads!

My favorite bizarre dream occurred during the Bush vs. Kerry campaigns. In real life, I had just gotten a new kitten. In my dream, the kitten had somehow acquired the ability to speak and also the right to vote. We went to the polls together, and afterwards he told me he had voted for Ralph Nader. And I was SO MAD at him and told him, “You wasted your vote!”

OMG you are all making me laugh seriously out loud.

My dreams are always like surreal action movies, nothing ever too bizarre but I have them all the time. Unfortunately, I can’t remember them very well.

In the last one I remember I was fighting the Joker, who was somehow animated, so the whole thing had a ‘Who Framed Roger Rabbit’ feel to it. He set up bombs in a big log-cabin mansion in the woods. I defused those, and then climbed underneath a moving 18-wheeler where bad guys tried to shoot me, and then we had the showdown, of which I don’t remember anything except that it happened.

Did I kill the thread? I think everyone just fell asleep. I was bored just typing about it :frowning:

The other day I had a dream that my boyfriend called me and told me he moved across the country earlier that day. No reason for it, just felt like moving so he sold all of his stuff and packed up and moved and didn’t tell me about it.

When I told him about it later he said that he wouldn’t ever do that and that he was sorry his dream-self didn’t discuss it with me first. It was cute that he wanted to reassure me that he wasn’t going to move without telling me first as though I thought it was an actual concern.

Both. Either. Anything you think might make a good post.

And there are some good posts in this thread so far. Very amusing reading all of them.

Saturday night I dreamt I was grasping onto a table made of human body parts. The table leg made out of a human leg turned out to be an actual leg, my daughter’s, which was sticking into my side. She’d done her usual shuffling act and turned through 90 degrees in her sleep, and my mind had chosen this way to bring me out of my slumber and turn her around. :stuck_out_tongue:

I’ve had another dream involving my daughter which also involved the Xenomorphs from Aliens. I had to go with her to warn people at a music festival that the aliens were on the rampage. We passed through a forest reminiscent of a forest park we frequented as kids, then got to the festival. The people there believed us but sat through the night’s music. However, they did scuttle straight off afterwards to their tents and were all gone early in the morning. My daughter and I went onto the remains of a ruined city, where we spent the night with a family in an apartment block. We woke up the next day and the dream ended, without the aliens having ever made an appearance.

Other dreams that I remember well include chasing a large reptile through our house at night. I cornered it and killed it painfully and slowly with a laser, despite knowing that it was a perfectly innocent creature.

I might have posted this one before in a similar thread, and I don’t know if it counts as ‘bizarre’, but it’s been one of the few dreams that ever stuck with me:

So I wake up the next morning and go about my life; in fact, my entire life. There’s lots of detail missing, obviously, but eventually, I reach the end of it all – I’m old, I’m tired, I’m in hospital (on a space station), it’s my time and I know it, and I’m ready. So I die, somewhat contently, but this is not the end – I don’t exactly remember what happened next, but there was a sense of being judged, and being told the equivalent of ‘Well, you can do better than that. Gonna have to do this again. You’re being sent back.’ ‘Sent back?’, I ask, ‘But no, I was through, I was done! I can’t do this again!’; I remember my heart sinking at the prospect of having to re-do all that.
Then I woke up.

I had a flying dream recently. With my dog. I just held her as we flew over what transpired to be the English countryside, before landing in a stately home (we were aiming for next door, but my name was a bit off). I remember that there was something really odd about the house. I think it was haunted in a Scooby Doo kind of way.

Then I woke up.

I am also not a druggie, which is why this particular dream struck me as so bizarre:

I’m at work at one of my old summer jobs (produce department at a grocery store, except in my dream the produce department is located in my high school) and my manager asks me and a friend to put in some overtime packaging opium poppies. (Just the pods, saran wrapped and labeled in trays. In this universe, they look and smell like fresh figs.)

I decide that this is a great idea, especially because I can sample some of the poppies. My friend joins me, asking, “What if we get caught by security?”

“We can just say that they’re guavas. Nobody knows what those look like.” Brilliant. Never mind that the scale is printing labels with pothead puns on them, and that we’re getting giddy and incoherent after munching rather too many poppy pods.

(My subconscious sucks at pharmacology. Can’t tell opioids from THC.)

Somehow, we get caught, but we blame our manager, claiming ignorance, and manage to slip away. The janitors who were around at the same time weren’t so lucky. Security closes the fire doors on them and starts handcuffing them with zip ties because they’re witnesses and can’t be allowed to leave :rolleyes:

No meaningful resolution, but I think it proves that I’m a terrible terrible person.

Reverse zombies.

When you bite them back, they turn into humans.

Man, compared to most of you, my dreams are downright normal. 90% of the time they dall into three categories:

  1. Work
  2. Sex
  3. School

The first one sucks because I despise being at work enough when I’m awake. The second one sucks because the dream always seems to end right before the good stuff really starts (seriously, I always wake up after the girl gets naked, but before any action…rip off!) The third one sucks because I’m not even in school anymore!

But regarding the first, I did have a dream the other night where I was waiting tables like normal, but one of my customers was John Ritter. I knew he was dead in the dream, but I justified it to myself. I figured one of two things:

He was just playing his character from 10 Simple Rules, because John Ritter is dead, but not that character (although actually I think the character did die…but in the dream I didn’t think he did, so it was ok.)

The other option was more bizarre. I figured it was fine because maybe we just went back in time that night.

I have weird dreams all the time, so I’ll go with one I had last night.

In the dream, my wife cooked a meatloaf. When she pulled the meatloaf out of the oven, it had a really tough crusty skin on the outside where it had dried out. She said “nobody likes to eat the skin” and pulled it off of the meatloaf in one piece, leaving the juicy, tender inside of the meatloaf. She then started cutting the skin into strips and said she was going to decorate our daughter’s room by nailing the strips of meatloaf skin on the wall.

That is the most terrifying thing I have ever read. You win so far!

I have two crazy dreams. In the first, I decided to jump off a cliff. I was running, through the woods, the trees abruptly ended, I saw the cliff ahead, and decided not to stop running. I fell for a long time, and the idea of being afraid never occurred to me.

In the second, I “woke up” under water. I looked for the surface while I held my breath, but it was too dark. I could think clearly enough to realize that I could find which way was “up” by feeling which way the bubbles traveled, but when I tried to do it the bubbles felt like they were moving in every direction. I frantically swam in a random direction, struggling to hold my breath until finally I couldn’t do it any more. I finally gave up, accepted my fate, and let the water fill my lungs.

Whenever I see a dream thread, I always think about a specific dream I had a long time ago.

Ah, I just went through my old livejournal and found it. April of 2003:

Probably the most vivid dream I’ve ever had, and the most coherently remembered one as well.

Of course, there was the time I was Sid Vicious and I got into a fight with Gary Oldman as Sid Vicious…but that’s not quite as interesting.

There was the fun dream I had where I went down the escalator to Hell and a social worker tried to help me “get used to the experience of being in Hell”

Also the dream where I got lost in what looked like an airport and I was desperately trying to get out; I heard a phone ringing and grabbed it. Someone asked for Winston Churchill and I said “He’s not here right now” The person kept asking for Churchill so finally I yelled “You dummy, he’s dead!” Then I stumbled along, stopping at a blood spattered gift store, before I found a guidance counselor. She looked up my file on the computer and discovered that I’d been mistakenly sent to Hell because someone else with my name had committed an armed robbery and murder. I was immediatley transferred to Heaven, where I was allowed to sit in an easy chair, watch TV, and chew gum.

I’ve been having so many bizzare dreams lately, almost one a night, due to some medication I’m currently taking.

I’m having them so frequently that I’m now starting to confuse real life events with dreams. It’s pretty crazy. I thought having REM sleep helped you improve your memory, but having too much REM sleep can be bad ad well.

The funny thing is, I can barely remember a full dream, unless I write them down. I only remember brief moments of dreams, and some dreams occasionally pop back in my head after some type of real-life reminder.

I have a old one and one from last week.

The old one is from early high school so about 15 years ago.

I remember this because it was so weird I tell it any chance I get.

Ozzy Osbourne and I were pirates and we were sword fighting these other pirates, on the deck of our ship, who were trying to take over our ship. The wierd part was that they were vampire pirates and we were fighting in the day time. :eek:

The recent one was just last week but it was so vivd.

I and some other people died in a bus accident and we were all sent to the lobby of the afterlife. This is the place where it is determined whether you went to hell, heaven or purgatory to redeem yourself before you went to Heaven. Only really really bad people went to hell like murders. Most went to purgatory for some time and then went on to heaven.

Well the judge of where you went was a simulation virtual reality machine. When you first arrive you get your name on a list and then you wait until your name is called to go into the judgiing machine. Some people got in right away while others had been waiting for hundreds of years to get judged.

Here’s the cool part. The lobby was one GIANT game center. As far as the eye could see it was games. All kinds of games like video games, arcade games, skee ball, bowling, darts, pool, fields for baseball, football (both kinds), olympic type games and so many others. There was a section that had dance floors and different floors played different kinds of music. There was a giant food court with every imaginable food available. The best part was that there were hundreds of roller coasters weaving in and out of the whole place.

With all this cool stuff happening what was I doing? Eating a freaking hot dog talking to some random lady while she played skee ball. I remember I asked her why this place was so awesome and she said that if people were going to go to hell then god wanted them to have at least a little fun before they went and I thought that if this is the lobby to heaven then heaven must really kick ass.

When I was about 7 years old, I dreamt I was in Hell, eating the brains out of a man’s hinged skull with a serving spoon.

You just don’t forget dreams like that :eek: