Apparently, my interview skills are not just bad, but Lovecraftian

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

So, the second largest and best-paying employer in town, the local bottling plant, had a mini job fair last Friday, looking for people to work their long overnight shift. As my main job skills are working crazy long shifts and staying up all night, I was hopeful. I had some work in the morning, and showed up just before 1p, looking sharp and fresh a a slice of Vermont cheddar. And smelling rather better, considering the 95+ temperature.

Upon arrival, I discovered the reps had already left, about an hour and a half before the scheduled time. Classy. Disappointed but undaunted, I checked their web site. I’d applied the last time they were hiring, and had made it through the whole process, including the final interview, so this shouldn’t be too difficult.

Hmm. No new jobs listed, though they still have the ones from last summer. And my ‘application account’ doesn’t work. Well, it was quite a while ago. On an unrelated note, whoever decided that the best way to have people apply was to have each of ten million applicants set up a personal account with each business they apply to really should be . . . given a just reward for their actions.

So, I try the plant directly. I ask to talk to HR, and explain the situation to the receptionist. She recognizes my name, and asks if I’ve applied before. Ah, I think, this can’t be a bad sign! I assure her I have, and she goes off to check the spreadsheet.

Apparently, and sadly, they have more qualified applicants. Alas. Despite the fact they’d had a job fair looking for applicants just a few working hours earlier. And she assures me that they will always have more qualified applicants in the future, no matter what other positions might open up, and regardless of who may or may not apply.

I can interpret this only four ways. First, I’m actually unqualified. Possible, but they didn’t seem to think so throughout all the testing and interviews last time. As these took a fair amount of time from both testers and interviewers, and the listed requirements do not seem out of line with my work experience, I’m going to assume this isn’t it.

Second, they’ve decided I lied on my application/resume. A double-check of the application I filled out for them, however, reveals no mistakes or anything that might be interpreted as deceptive, so probably not that.

Third, one of my references decided to stab me in the back. Possible, but unlikely. Two of them are personal friends as well as associates, one is a former supervisor who loves me to death, and one is a former supervisor with whom I had a good working relationship and whom I helped out frequently.

Which leaves the fourth possibility. Which is my interview skills blow like a purity-ring bearer on prom night. Bad enough, apparently, to get me blacklisted forever and ever.

This hypothesis is further strengthened by another data point. Another job has just got around to informing me I’m not hired there, either. This one I went into with, and this is neither a joke, nor an exaggeration, a glowing personal recommendation from the CEO. (I’d done some outstanding temp work for the company the week before) That interview took two hours. The first hour I thought I was kicking ass, the second, not so much.

And that’s not even brining up the Smith job (that would be the actual largest and best paying employer in the area, for those keeping track), for which I’d temped for 8 months in the exact position they ended up hiring someone else for. With no complaints and regular atta-boys throughout the time I was there.

Additionally, I somehow managed to miss two town jobs that I was fully qualified for, both of which closed on Friday. Despite checking town hall for them every week.

So, perhaps the problems isn’t the interviews, maybe I’m just spectacularly incompetent.

Sigh.

–
Of course, I must question the judgement of any company that would discontinue Diet Cherry Vanilla Dr Pepper. So it could just be that, I suppose.

2

Ouch, I’m sorry you’re having so much trouble. It’s so disappointing when you think you have a good shot and something doesn’t work out. Do you do anything weird when you’re nervous, like lick your eyeballs or claw grooves in the desk or cackle maniacally while making inappropriate jokes about the interviewer’s spouse?

3

Or they screwed up your background check, & think you’re Jack The Ripper.

4

No, he’s Jack Tripper. (Hilarious sit-com situations ensue.)

5

Easy to do. For example, I had a friend who had worked 3 years for a company, 1 of which was by Contract. Even tho she put on the entry “Started as Contractor thru xxx” they nixed her, as she “lied on her resume” . :rolleyes:

Then, my Bro retired from the IRS after 20 years. Now for a govt job, you don’t get to call HR or anything to verify employment, you have to call in thru a special 1-800 #. Which didn’t have him (Govt screw up, who could a thunk it?:eek:). Nixed.

In my case, I skipped getting a AA as I got a BA then a Masters. But still, since I had indicated “AA Porgram” for my Community College, they gave me a hard time about “lying about your AA degree”.:rolleyes: Like, who would fucking lie about having a AA if they had a Masters?

And, most companies don’t tell you why you have been nixed.

6

Quoted for emphasis. I’d call back up and ask directly if something came up odd in a credit or background check. They didn’t hire you anyway it’s not as if you have anything to lose.

7

Aha! They were spelling fanatics! :stuck_out_tongue:

Seriously, if you never attended an AA program, why put it down? If you did and didn’t get an AA, saying “Attended AA program at XYZ CC” is the standard way of noting you went but didn’t graduate. All trivial, but when a hiring manager is flooded with resumes, they look for reasons to reject, not accept.

8

Either the bottling company has a very good filing system with all applicants and the OP has some nasty notation on his resume, or he is blacklisted for some reason. Unless he did something out of one of those list of the stupidest candidates of all time (pulling out lunch to eat during the interview, saying you have to leave early for a date) I can’t imagine anything said during an interview would get one blacklisted.

How did the second hour go wrong? Was it a different person?

9

That sucks but keep at it. You’ll get passed on for every position you apply for… Until you don’t.

10

It wasn’t on the resume, it was on the application, and the spaces did not allow that level of sophisication in my answer. I had to list all colleges attended. They also scolded me on this after I was hired.

11

My guess is that you insulted someone high up in the organization or otherwise put your foot in your mouth without realizing it. My husband learned this lesson the hard way by cracking jokes of a religious nature at a party only to be later told that one of the women there was the head of HR at a massive computer company HQ’ed in our city, was devoutly Catholic, and that she knew he was looking for work. :smack: Luckily computers are not his deal so it wasn’t too horrible a thing, but if he were a computer specialist or something he would have essentially taken himself out of the running for a ton of jobs with one off-color joke.

12

Have you looked at your credit report lately?
Could there be someone on a sex offender list with the same name?
This sort of thing will make you nucking futz…eliminate as many possible other things as you can, then see if you can find someone professional who could critique your interviewing skills. I doubt if the rejector would tell you if it was something that you could use even remotely in a discrimiation suit.

13

You could be blackballed. If someone in the company knows you and doesn’t like you, you’re name goes on a list. If you’re over 40 your age could be working against you.

You could file a complain with the EEOC claiming discrimination but that won’t make you popular, and it’s unlikely to get you anywhere, but it could get the message home.

14

You’re overlooking something.

It’s possible that you actually did fail a test. By fail, I don’t mean “did not score minimum aptitude required,” I mean something like a psychological profile that showed you were an introvert when they only want sales types, or one of those preference tests that asks the same question ten different ways and you only answered it the same way six times.

However, even if you’ve been implicated in that mysterious string of kindergarten students who’ve mysteriously disappeared over the past few months, I find it odd that a lowly HR receptionist would be bold enough to tell you that they will “that they will always have more qualified applicants in the future, no matter what other positions might open up, and regardless of who may or may not apply.” In fact, I’d find that rude enough to complain to the HR manager. That might uncover the root of the problem.

15

Your interview summoned an unfathomable, cthonic horror?

16

An unusual name for an HR rep, but essentially yes.

17

Got it. You were blamed for their bad application. It’s not like you are the only person in that situation.

18

I second the checking your credit report. That’s how I found out that my ex-husband had pulled a fast one and opened a credit card with my name on it… I got turned down for a job and the company had to disclose that it was because of my credit.

19

“And she assures me that they will always have more qualified applicants in the future, no matter what other positions might open up, and regardless of who may or may not apply.”

Fuck 'em. After hearing that, the rationale wouldn’t matter at all. That’s not even faux politeness. That intentionally choosing a meaner way to say what they actually meant. That’s not a euphemism but a dysphemism. People who think that type of language is acceptable within the business context are horrible people. I wouldn’t want to work for them.