Well, I’m a Net Whore, first and foremost. I have E-mail accounts all over the place. Name almost any major free E-mail service, and there’s most like a “JMSPOOFE@whatever” signed up for it.
Anyway, I went back and checked out a VERY old Yahoo account of mine. Keep in mind that this is an account that I use for absolutely nothing. I never E-mailed anyone with this account, and I never signed this account up for any mailing lists. So, naturally, it gets clogged up with Spam daily. Tonight, I’m bored as hell (watching Caroline Rhea fondle herself on Conan isn’t as engrossing as one would think), so I go and check out this E-mail account, just to see if anything interesting (read: porn) shows up.
No good porn spam, but I DO notice several different E-mails with the subject: “I LOVE YOU AND DON’T WANT YOU TO DIE!” Apparently, this is a sticker someone put on Richard Simmons’ (shudder) car, and it supposedly gave him the inspiration to lose weight (or something).
Anyhoo, I had seven of these E-mails (out of forty, total, in the Bulk Mail folder). I just wanted to share my good fortune (seven is a lucky number, you know) with my fellow 'Dopers (I am bored, after all).
I wouldn’t want you to die. You’re a good egg. Don’t die, SPOOFE! DON’T DIE!
Unless you could die in a comical manner. Preferably on Pay-Per-View and I could rack in some real cash. I think I could scrape up an anvil…
-Rue. (wishing SPOOFE a long and anvil-free life. On the advice of my lawyers.)
I can’t say I love you, SPOOFE, but like Rue DeDayI’d only want you to die if I could get a laugh out of it. Maybe a blaze-of-irony type of thing, like getting hit by a reckless driver while on your way to traffic court.
gosh, I’ve gotten way more than seven in my hotmail account. I never bothered to read them, I figure, if someone I know loves me and doesn’t want me to die, they’ll call. :rolleyes:
Don’t die SPOOFE, I plan on getting my D2 characters up to par and then seeing you on Bnet sometime again!
Dammit Spooje, I mean it. Don’t you dare die yet. We here at the SDMB have much bigger plans for you. Bwahahahahaha. But if you want to loose a pound or two I guess that would be ok.
But No Dying… at least not until we say so like in about 100 years or so Ok?
[sub] some people so selfish… think they can go dying any ol time they want. well I guess I told him a thing or two…[/sub]
Hey don’t think because I called you Spooje, you’re off the hook. I know you’re spoofe, and you know you’re spoofe and you know that I know you’re spoofe. And I know that you…ah f**k it.
My brother once got on this, “I’m gonna get washboard abs” kick, and foolishly bought one of those blue, cheap, plastic Abdominizers, which probably would have made a better sled in winter.
Anyway, a month or so later, he gets a letter in the mail. Handwritten envelope. No return address.
Inside is a clipping from a newspaper, about some weight-loss program. Handwritten on the clipping: “Aaron - It works.”
My brother, at least at the time, was skinny. I finally figured out that he got on somebody’s mailing list for the Abdominizer purchase.
