My roommate (AKA Jojo the Idiot Boy), informed me he wanted to call his mommy in Alabama. He’s telling me because I reamed his ass over making some long distance phone calls and not telling me about it (and guess who didn’t have the money to pay for those calls when the bill came.), and I told him to dial one of the 1010 numbers on TV since it’s cheaper that way. Dipshit didn’t know how to do it. He kept asking me how to dial the thing. Now, if I didn’t own a TV and if he didn’t have his ass parked in front of it whenever he was awake, I could understand this. But, I own a TV, and Jojo’s parked in front of it, watching the fucking TV Guide Channel, if he can’t find anything on that he likes. So how the fuck this colon gopher could not see the nearly incessant ads for the damn things and not understand how the fuck it works, is totally beyond me.
I swear to goddess, I’m going to carve this bastard up and sell him for parts.
Advertising is funny. You see enough of BUY COKE! it and you don’t even see it after a while. It’s supposed BUY COKE! to still stick in your BUY COKE! head, though, so obviously your roommate is BUY COKE! not making ad execs very happy. All I know is BUY COKE! if I have to watch another commercial with fucking Carrot BUY COKE! Top, I’m gonna lose my shit.
Which, as much as I hate giving money to anyone who’s revived ALF’s career, is the one I told him. It was like dealing with freakin’ Rainman over it.
Me: Dial 10-10-220, 1 the area code and then your mother’s phone number.
Jojo: What do I do?
Me: Dial 10-10-220, 1 the area code and then your mother’s phone number.
Jojo: Okay, 10-10-220 and then what?
Me: Dial 10-10-220, 1 the area code and then your mother’s phone number.
Jojo: So, I just dial 10-10-220 and then the area code?
Me: No. Dial 10-10-220, 1 the area code and then your mother’s phone number.
Jojo: Okay, 10-10-220 and the area code.
Me: Dial 10-10-220, 1 the area code and then your mother’s phone number.
Jojo: Okay.
[Twenty minutes later]
Jojo: What do I dial?
Me: Dial 10-10-220, 1 the area code and then your mother’s phone number.
Jojo (wandering off): 10-10-220. 10-10-220. 10-10-220. 10-10-220…
The man’s clearly invested a good deal of time learning the intracacies of regular long distance, perhaps now is not a good time to complicate things for him.
