Are you watching me? :eek:
Not specifically. People are filthy wretches, though. As alike as slices of pepperoni, and as superficially individual. I despise the lot of us, livid and festering as we are, together in this cellophane sack of spacetime, sharing our identical aromas and greases until such time as we are quickly consumed and converted into a form more honestly representative of our nature.
…damn, that got a little dark.
Inigo, you are just too damned serious today!
Yeah. I think it’s time to take another break.
You can go after me at the ordering thing I bring disinfecting wipes into McDs. I will wipe the screen first and I used hand sanitizer before coming in. I know I am a sicko. But I have a fear of germs. Nevermind, I just talked myself out of even going to that infested place. Sorry!
Driving home, two bike riders in full spandex in front of me, riding side-by-side on a one-way, two-lane road. All cool, right? They have a right to a lane, and I normally try to give bikes room.
Except, this street has a dedicated bike lane, and they take turns having one in the bike lane and the other one in a standard lane. Am I right in considering them dicks? Enough traffic (rush hour) that it was hard finding a gap in the left lane to get around them. I came this close to coming this close to running them off the road.
Oh, shit. I can’t find my debit card. I’m looking in pockets and bags. God, it may be in the pantry or the car. Shit this is the 3rd time I have done this.
'Cuse me I have to find my phone and call the bank, shit where’s my phone. I am ridiculous. I hate my life.
Apparently I am the Dwight Schrute of my workplace.
We were called in for a kickoff meeting for LEAN, a workplace concept that promotes efficiency by removing unimportant and unnecessary tasks. We were asked to take a survey beforehand. Each question had 5 degrees of agreeing with the statement, from Strongly Disagree to Strongly Agree. I HATE THESE TYPES OF SURVEYS. They leave out context, and my only way to express feedback is a 1-5 rating. They did have a comment section, in which I vented my frustrations.
Example: “I feel processes are optimized.”
What processes? The company’s? The department’s? My own? What does optimized mean? Balance of speed vs accuracy? Prioritizing assignments? Giving equal weight to all my duties?
What’s more, the first question was “I feel I understand the LEAN process.” I don’t. I never heard of it until now. Apparently, a bunch of employees already went through LEAN training, and I wasn’t notified that there was LEAN training prior to this meeting.
So, I go to the kickoff, and the Master of Ceremonies started launching into what a beautiful system LEAN was and uses all these generic bullet points without actually describing what the program does. Is it a checklist? Is it something we have to track? Couldn’t we have been given literature BEFORE the meeting started?
The MoC then shows the bar charts of our responses and makes all these treacly assumptions, like “Looks like most people are satisfied with the LEAN process.” I finally blew it. I activated the mike and said “The 4th question is vague. What processes are you talking about? What do you mean by optimize? Do you mean this? Do you mean that?” The MoC replied “Yes to all.” I absolutely hate generic feel-good talking points given as answers. Thankfully, another speaker took over and gave more specific answers. The MoC just kept smiling throughout it all, like the answers to all the world’s problems is to look optimistic and transmit feel-good vibes. Smile during the Apocalypse because it’s cute.
Look, I work in QA. I’s supposed to look for flaws and get them fixed. If you give me nothing to work with, you’re not going to get positive feedback and smiles from me.
After the meeting broke up, the MoC came up to me as I was leaving and thanked me for my feedback, and kept whitewashing me with the “we value all feedback” bromides. I told him “Here’s my first suggestion. If you’re going to ask about our opinions on source material, at least let us see it first.” He replied that they didn’t want to give away too much info and risk people having their opinions colored before taking the survey. I said “All I knew was that it’s something called LEAN. That’s all I knew. How can I give feedback when I know nothing about the subject?” He again repeated the “thank you for your feedback” mantra, smiling the whole time.
I’m too much of a cynic to thrive in today’s world.
Amen! I guess mine doesn’t care if he’s taking a shower with water up above his ankles…
Thundersnow. Lovely.
I’m pretty certain that bike lanes are for people on bicycles, not on motorcycles. They probably shouldn’t have been in the bike lane at all.
I took the post to mean bicycles not motorcycles.
I still have no idea if I got next Saturday off to attend a family function. It’s a function I cannot afford (okay, it’s a shower) and I’m utterly convinced it’s more for my MIL and SILs to ooh and ahhh over granddaughter/nieces’s presents than it is for granddaughter/niece herself.
When my old coworker had her shower at this time last year, 50 invitations were sent out, more than half never RSVP’d, and only 10 people showed up. A fellow coworker was a bridesmaid and reported it was the strangest shower she’d ever attended. I have the feeling this shower is going the same way.
I just had lunch with a bride-to-be and told her it was a tossup between her upcoming shower and a root canal without anaesthetic. She laughed and said she didn’t think I’d enjoy it.
Indeed - not a lot of motorcycle riders in full spandex - they tend towards leather.
Do motorcycle riders wear full spandex where you are?
9 span calls yesterday. I wouldn’t answer, but I’m waiting for a call. One from a woman who wanted to buy the house I live in. Which isn’t my house, nor is it in my name??
Maybe she would’ve handed you a briefcase full of cash before she noticed that…
ETA: Is “9 span” the upcoming merger of C-Span and 4-Chan?
My elderly mother went to a doctor’s appointment yesterday. I went online to make the appointment, and the website asked what was wrong with her. When we got to the office, the receptionist gave us a form to fill out asking what was wrong with her. When she went in to the doctor’s office, the intake nurse asked her what was wrong with her, and then the doctor asked her what was wrong with her. Don’t any of these people/forms/websites communicate with each other?
There’s a way to test that.
Tell the website it’s asthma.
Write down on the form that it’s shingles.
Tell the intake nurse that it’s scurvy.
Then observe the doctor when he comes in. If he asks what’s the matter with her*, then they probably don’t. If he’s all “WTF?” then maybe they do…
*ETA: and if he does ask, tell him it’s lupus.