PREACH IT! I am sick of people acting like all women are helpless victims incapable of violence. And I’m a woman! I know I’m fully capable of violence and have acted on it several times. There’s enough of a stigma against male domestic violence victims without acting like they don’t exist.
'Scuse me, my box has run out of soap.
The folklore guy at ECU is across the street from me right now so that’s closer yet. I just think folklore is cool. We tell ourselves such interesting stories.
Enough with the mini-rants already.
Heh, it’s my ironic mini-rant.
But, but… I’ve still got April days left in my calendar!
I just got off the phone with one of my clients, who has two demands regarding her insurance policy renewal:
She wants to pay her insurance policy by automatic withdrawal from her bank account, as she never remembers to send payment when she gets notices from the insurance company. Other payment options are NOT to be considered.
She does NOT want to give the insurance company her bank account information because “then they can just go in there whenever they want and clean her out”.
She is angry that I cannot satisfy both of these requirements.
Obviously she has a pre-existing mental condition and is therefore uninsurable.
Problem solved.
You’re welcome.
Next!
Not that it’s your job, but can you walk her through setting up the bill pay system on her own bank account? That way, she’s not giving out any info. Of course, that won’t work if the amount changes frequently.
I don’t suppose you’ve pointed out that she gives the insurance company her bank’s name, her ABA routing number, and her personal account number EVERY TIME SHE SENDS THEM A CHECK.
I lost my monthly rail pass this morning. Stupid me. At least it happened close to the end of the month. I’m still out $40. Grrrrr.
Moore’s Federal Practice, you are a big pain in my butt.
And to the person who ripped out a bunch of pages from one of the volumes of Wright & Miller, I hope you get a habanero enema.
There’s a pretty nice coffee maker in the office, and a number of people who put in money every month and drink the coffee every day. It’s a good deal - it costs you $4/month for all you can drink, and you just have to make a fresh pot if you kill the one that’s there. It works well, for the most part… except every morning between 9:00 and 9:30, somebody takes the last cup and just turns the burner off. If I find out who’s doing it, I’m going to beat him like I was his dad.
Dear Moronic Driver Who Hit My Husband While He Was Crossing the Street,
Just so you know my husband’s probably going to need surgery on his wrist for a cartilage tear in the two bones you fractured. Get off the road and go fuck yourself.
Sincerely,
Yes, we are suing
Why did my three-ish-year-old crown (as in tooth crown) decide to start crapping out on me over the last couple of weeks? Why do I have no money to do anything else but have it extracted? (At least it’s the very back tooth on the top, so it’s not like I’ll have a visible gap.) And, most importantly, what is it about Friday evenings that makes it flare up? Is it laughing at me because I can’t get to the dentist until at least Monday? It’s settling down for the moment, but it’s still Friday evening.
Stupid tooth. I’ll show you!
I show it with about 660mg of OTC naproxen (brand name: Aleve) when that happens to me. Seems to work.
Good luck with the weekend.
It seems to be much happier now – that is, it only hurts if I put pressure on it on the inside. And ibuprofen is wonderful stuff. Should it really start hurting I have the Good Stuff on hand as well. It’s more obnoxious than anything else right now.
But I will show it. Oh yes. The very nice dentist will take care of that part.
It’s like this:
You have a crush on a girl/guy? Do yourself a favor and JUST ASK THEM OUT!!! WTF, people, you’re going to spend years pining away at the Chick in Cubicle A at work and not bother to ASK HER OUT???
I don’t want to hear about how you’re “shy”, or how your last relationship ended up in flames, or you have trouble speaking to the opposite sex (who, btw, are just as human as you are), or whatever your lame-ass silly excuse* is: JUST ASK THEM OUT!!!
I’m not the most gregarious guy either. I never approached girls with the smoothness that everybody else seemed to have. I sucked at bar scenes, church scenes, school scenes, etc. But I never let something as silly as my own idiotic assumptions stand in the way… I merely ASKED THEM OUT!
*Non lame-ass silly excuses include prior relationships where abuse occurred. In this situation, it’s perfectly understandable to be restrained.
But when you’re whining on MSPISMS or IMHO or wherever about how you can never find the courage to ask the Girl in Cubicle A out, and write a 5,000 word theses where you examine every pitiful lost chance in excruciating detail… yeah, it’s your fault, bub, not the girls. JUST ASK HER OUT!!!
There are only two outcomes, both of them good:
See? It’s that simple!
I know I’m several years late on this one. But whoever designed laptops so that power on/power off, sleep, and hibernate would all have the same button and made it impossible to tell which state the computer was in that has resulted in me spending way too much time staring at a black screen attempting to figure out whether I need to do anything or not to make the computer work (and nearly always choosing incorrectly).
You suck.
History Channel-“The Greys” are NOT A HISTORICAL SUBJECT!!! AAAHHH!!!
I’d settle for Hitler’s Mustache over this!
Excuse me, Airlines? Would you consider the logistical sense of boarding your planes with the back seats first? You know, based on the fact that the average human’s IQ drops 15-20% when they get on a plane (no cite.) The inability to navigate a single row and find a seat based on a number and letter is well known. The further inability to store the luggage that they brazenly brought on board despite it being over-sized for the compartments is also well known. Yet you persist in having these travel -monkeys board the plane from the front, causing a logjam in the aisle each and every time as they wander, slack-jawed, down the row, smacking us more savvy travelers in the head with their bags as they twist and turn, looking for their seat. Why I ask? Why?
Whenever I fly (usually American Airlines) they always board First Class first, then from the back to the front. Which is why I now try to get a seat in the back of the plane, so I can get on with a reasonable chance of having space to stow my carry-on. My CPAP goes in the under-seat storage, which eliminates the possibility that some moron will ram it with his steamer trunk.
Lurk, I got a better idea. (and I fly a fair amount - probably been in over 100 plane flights over the past 10 or so years, so I have an idea as to what I’m talking about 'cause I do this for every flight):
Be the last to board. Wait until everybody gets on the plane, board at the last moment when they’re doing absolute final, “we’re closing the doors” boarding.
Why?
'Cause everybody else is sitting in their assigned seats. Since airlines never bother to check to see if you’re in your correct seat, the last person to board will literally have their choice of all the remaining seats. I did this twice yesterday, and both times chose a window seat in empty rows, giving me plenty of space to stow my crap and to spread out when it came time to break out the laptop.
The worst that can happen is you sitting in your assigned seat, putting your CPAP machine underneath the seat in front of you.
Of course, if you’re travelling with other people (especially children), this really limits your options. But if you’re flying alone, it’s quite an advantage.
Well, JohnT, that might work except that most of the time when I fly the plane is full, or nearly so. Which means that if I wait to get on last I have to hope that there’s room for my carry-on in the overhead.
Besides, I like getting on early and watching people trying to hoist their steamer trunks over their heads, or walk up and down the aisles trying to find space for them. Since I almost always have a window seat, I don’t have to worry about getting hit on the head.
Another writing rant. If you are an administrator at a large university, please do not write things like “Please rsvp to myself or S—.” (1) the “svp” in “RSVP” means “please.” There’s no need to beg. (2) “To myself” is a hypercorrection. “To me” is correct.
I’m not going to correct the woman, because it’s not my place, it’s not polite, and it wouldn’t make a difference anyway, but let’s just say there’s a reason this place is not Harvard.
As an aside, I found the attached memo quite funny: “Come be revitalized! Join in for an informative culminating assessment retreat.” Yeah, that’ll revitalize ya. Do you think a dictionary would be an appropriate end-of-year gift?