April mini-rants.

A certain commercial campaign has worked - whenever I see Jamie Lee Curtis now, I think of regularized bowels and well-formed poops.

There should be a movement (sorry) encouraging her to change her name to Jamie Lee Activia, or maybe Stool Queen. That’s how she’s going to be remembered, not for shlock movies.

I bought a DVD and it had one of those annoying “Thank you for legally purchasing this DVD!” cards in it. It was a trilogy and every single film had 3 trailers, a ‘now-at-the-cinema’ trailer and a ‘now-on-DVD’ trailer before them. Take your thanks and shove them up your arse.

So, when our renewal notices came up for the domains we own at work, I followed the directions and marked the ones we no longer wanted for release back into the wild.

Of course somehow their system screwed it up and we got charged for the renewals.

When I got notice from Netflix that my hold was going to expire in two weeks, I went onto the site and renewed the hold for another 90 days.

Of course the system screwed it up and my account was re-opened and charged.

You know, if I do what your site tells me to do, I don’t think it’s really fair that it doesn’t stick and I have to fight to get my money back. Fuckers.

I’m sick of being scared to open my mouth and say exactly what i need to say. To my boss, coworkers, best friends that have cut contact with me, my family and to the man that i’d die for.
AAAARGH!

I may have let your statement just lie there, because I didn’t want to make a general conversation amidst a group of people into a specific conversation (argument) between you and me, but you’re full of shit. You know it, and I know it, and you know I know it.

This one bugs the crap out of me, there’s nothing I can do to change it, there are even some possibly valid reasons for people to do this, but it happens ALL THE FREAKIN’ TIME and it bugs the living bugfuck out of me. And that’s a lot of bugs!

So I’m at the counter, doesn’t matter what store/restaurant/whatever. The person and I are engaged in a conversation/transaction.

The phone rings.

ALWAYS, I get put on “hold” while the other person answers the phone. ALWAYS.

… I’m trying to rent a car, needing to get to my destination… I have to wait whenever the fuckin’ phone rings.

… I merely want a seat in a restaurant… I have to wait because the phone rings.

Etc, etc, etc.

I have, maybe, had two examples where the person I’m dealing with had the attitude “well, they’ll call back. Let me finish what I started, then I’ll catch the phone.” No, it’s always “RING!.. Excuse me while I take this… ‘No, Henry isn’t working here today’… Now where were we, oh yeah… RING… Excuse me while I take this… 'Yes, we’re open ‘til 7pm’… Sorry about that, phone just doesn’t stop ringing, now let’s get this done… RING…” repeat ad nauseum

To me, this says “The living person in front of me is NEVER as important as the random person on the other end of the phone line.”

And, yeah, I know: I’m not going to change anything about this, and there are times when there are perfectly valid reasons to ignore the person in front of you for the random stranger on the phone… but EVERY FUCKIN’ TIME???

Thank you. This rant is brought to you by Phone Haters International.

Dear Jamie Foxx,

If you’re so afraid that your friends will steal your Oscar that you have to keep it at your manager’s house instead of your own, YOU NEED TO GET BETTER FRIENDS.

Sincerely,

Knead

I used to hang out with a girl who would always answer her phone and have a thirty-minute conversation with her mom/sister/whoever every time we went somewhere together. I dropped her from my social circle pretty quick.

When I’m at work and I’m helping someone right in front of me, I ignore the phone. That’s why we have voicemail.

A few mini-whines:

  • Mom, why must you come over on my home days just as I’m taking my lunch break - which consists of curling up on the couch and sewing? Every damn time you ask “Oh, are you on lunch? I bet you’re sewing”. Love ya, but DUH!
  • Child o’ mine: Yesterday morning I left my favorite needle on the end table, attached to a length of floss. It may sound weird to have a favorite needle, but it was the perfect length, the eyelet was perfect for easy threading, it was thick enough to feel comfortable in my fingers, and it had the perfect sharpness for this project. You “moved” it, but have NO idea where you moved it to. You know it was “just there!”, and have no idea how it could grow little steel legs and walk away. It did, though. Yes, I have a bunch of needles. Yes, I did grab a different one - and I dislike it. It’s not “right” in my fingers. I don’t touch your stuff, why must you get your fingers into my stuff?
  • “You must work in your county approved workspace” I was informed yesterday. The county never came out and approved my workspace, they just asked where I wanted the phone and cable line. When I was having connectivity problems I started working upstairs (off my personal internet connection) and no one said a word. When we received tablets we were told umpteen gadzillion times how we could work at Caribou Coffee if we wanted thanks to wifi. But now, for some unknown reason, you tell me I must work in my dark basement while spring is springing up and it’s beautiful outside. You, ma’am, are a control freak. You may decide to come on over to make sure I’m working in my “county approved” workspace? Have at it. Then explain to me why my telecommuting partner works from his bed, his garden, the library…
  • Lastly, Cleo? GET OFF my damn pillow! Last night I laid my head down, prepared for sweet slumber - only to get a noseful of your fur. Gah.

So do I, and I’m amazed how often the person I’m talking to will act stunned and even a little perturbed that I’m ignoring the phone. “You’re not answering your phone . . . and you’re not even looking to see who’s calling! Are you all right?”

Yes, dumbass, I’m fine, and I’m talking to you. Why should I see who’s calling, when I have no intention of answering the phone? If you had called me on the phone, I’d be talking to you and the next caller would get my voice mail–even if it was the president of the company. Why should it be different because you came here in person? Aren’t you more important because you came in person? Or do you wander with your coffee cup like Wally in Dilbert, bothering people for no reason?

I’ve even had bosses who look at me weird when I don’t answer the phone. OK, first, you’re here talking to me in person, and second, you’re my frigging boss. It’s not as if we’re in a service business where we break away for calls from customers. If you think you’re less important than a phone call, then stay out of my cube.

I had a favorite needle that I lost a long time ago. The one I’m using now is bent and I’m too lazy to go buy a new pack of embroidery needles. The sad thing is, I have a whole pincushion full of needles that I don’t wanna use because they all have something wrong with them for the project I’m working on. So bent needle it is.

I don’t even have a child to blame for losing my needles. I do that all by myself.

I rant against places of business where, when you try to call them, their hold music or announcement is feeble and full of static like a Denver AM radio station heard in the wee hours of the night on a pocket radio in San Bernardino. You think you have a bad connection.

Listen…if you don’t want to come to class, don’t fucking come to class. We won’t miss you if you decide not to show up for a day; it’s a big lecture and I miss class sometimes myself.

If you do decide to come to class, could you make your displeasure a little less obvious? Perhaps you could refrain from sitting next to me and sighing deeply and repeatedly while playing Facebook Tetris on your laptop (which is distracting to me - obvious clicking noises (eta: from the keyboard), bright colors, etc.).

I realize I’m a little old-fashioned in that I expect people in a class to at least pretend to pay attention to the lecture, but I know that if you take notes on a laptop it’s pretty hard to not slide to the internet occasionally. But if you’re going to play games through the entire lecture, go outside.

Makes me stabby, it does.

I second the stabbiness. Just from my lecture today: You, girl in the front row? I can see you texting even though your hands are under the text. It’s distracting, but worse, it’s god-damned rude.

Yeah, you know, keeping in touch with people. I don’t mind status updates, notes, hell, I don’t mind surveys. What I do mind is some fucking stupid quiz about which superhero or X-Man character or flower you are. The results take up a huge block of space and are often riddled with misspellings and typos. You can choose not to publish them if you take them just for fun. I wish more people would decide not to inflict them on everyone else.

Dr. Drake, are you the prof or a student? If I were teaching and someone decided to text right in front of me, I would be tempted to stop class.

Grrr…

The professor. I do sometimes stop the class, depending on my mood. Right now, my battle is with the rampant tardiness in one of my other classes. About 50% of the class comes in between two and forty (!) minutes late. I’ve started turning people away. Tomorrow, latecomers are going to have to sing “twinkle, twinkle, little star.”

ETA: To reward those few hardy souls who can read a clock, I’ve taken to revealing questions on the final in the first 30 seconds, with answers, and then swearing them to secrecy.

Devious!

Not really, because what is it do you think the students are texting each other?

ANSWR 2 QSTN1: HOMER
ANSWR 2 QSTN2: GILGAMEXH
LOL PROF IS SO STUPID!!!

:wink:

She didn’t eat it.

Dang