Jeez - imagine if I had mentioned the moat and draw bridge…
OK, now I’m imagine catapults and cauldrons of oil.
See now THAT’S just kinky…
Hey, um, there’s really not that much going on down there. Some underwear, pants, that kind of thing. You may imagine a tiny army blocking out the riffraff (that amuses me as well), but my glower is usually enough to send unwanted visitors on their way.
Actually, when white guys tell me about their little experiment, I often start grilling them about what, exactly, in their minds makes them think sleeping with a black girl would be different than anyone else. Do they think I’m “wild” in bed? (I get that a lot.) Do they think I’ll be more assertive? (I get that a lot, too.) Do they just want to rack up their race tally? What is it? By the time we’re done with the third degree, I am so thoroughly unattractive to them, that they usually just quit. Usually.
Probably not out of the desire for a partner of higher status than they were.
If that were the case, then one would expect that interracial marriages would be roughly 50-50 white men and black women vs. white women and black men. It is not - almost two thirds are black men and white women. If it were a simple desire for the exotic one would expect white men to experience it as much as blacks. But it doesn’t seem to work out that way.
Regards,
Shodan
I have to laugh at this, because the whole time I’ve been reading this thread, I’ve seen a whole lot of other reasons besides the basic “hot or not” automatic thing. For me, that’s what it is. I could give two shits about the status or color of a woman. All I know is “I want”, and that happens for me plenty with black women, among others. Geez, I hope I’m not just some weirdo horndog freak, finding sexiness in all kinds of women. I’m supposed to be paying attention to their status?
I call bullshit.
IMO black women are more in general conservative than white women, and more inclined to heed to the community pressure that dating out is something which is frowned upon, which it is again in general, more than the white community in the present time. Hence the disparity in the dating pattern, if you remove that, you’d get something rougly approaching a 50/50 mark.
It’s not just relevant to the US either, I know plenty of white guys who wanna date black women, but can’t because black women have been brought up to perceive that there’s some sort of social stigma attatched to it, or they’re ‘selling out’
But at least Kerry Washington wasn’t stupid to believe that.
Wait, Kerry Washington married a white guy? I um, I feel kind of bad admitting this, but my initial reaction was “Aww man.”
Meh. I’m just not picking up what you’re putting down. Please see my example of my brother in Japan - his sudden extra special appeal is something I’ve heard lots of white men describe as happening while visiting that country. White men are just not exotic in the US or Canada - they make up like 80% of the male population. Go to an area where they’re less common and sudden their ‘exotic’ factor shoots right up.
I call BS on this whole novelty tangent people are on.
I mean, what, we’re saying that black guys are marrying white women for novelty?
If not, if we’re talking about one night stands then what is the relevance to marriage stats?
So according to the theory, black women should really want to be with white guys, because of the novelty and status (which apparently are huge drivers of attraction) but they resist because of community pressure.
And that community pressure apparently works in exactly the opposite direction as it does for the men of that community.
Oh I agree that this whole thing has nothing to do with the OP at all. I don’t think that anyone marries anyone ONLY because of looks and I don’t think people even have one night stands only because of looks (although that might be a bit more common). I think that’s a total hijack. I have no idea why more black men marry white women than vice versa - perhaps status has something to do with it; however I don’t think it has anything to do with white women being better looking than black women. I think that’s a fantasy that no one has provided any evidence for.
In fact, I don’t think anyone has provided any evidence for ANY race being better looking than any other race. People like what they like, and when choosing partners it comes down to more than looks.
Well that’s an interesting point, because it raises the question of whether black males are more protective of different races dating black women than vice versa. But I don’t know about that.
It’s just from my perspective black women in general are more conservative about the whole interracial thing than black guys. But if I’m wrong, that makes me happier.
She dated that dude out of the film Big. She’s not married.
Try “forbidden fruit” plus “status symbol” as to the reasons white women are more attractive to black men. At least that’s closer to what countless black men have told me about it.
Alice in wonderland, I’d also ask you why the “exotic” and “novelty” factors don’t work the same way for black women and white men? And your brother’s experience in Japan is totally irrelevant, that is, unless those Japanese women would be similarly clamoring all over a black man for the novelty/exotic aspects, which I suspect they wouldn’t. :dubious:
From what I’ve heard from Americans with experience in Japan, Japanese women do indeed clamor all over black men just like they do with white men.
In fact, there was such a problem with young Japanese girls getting themselves into awkward situations in Bangkok and other destinations while seeking out black partners for sex that the Japanese government issued a cautionary warning for them.
I think one of the problems in this thread is that people are using different definitions of the word “attractive” and are thus talking past each other. Shodan seems to be using it in a whole package kind of way, vs others using it for physical attractiveness. Then there’s the juxtaposition between beauty which is an aesthetical thing vs physical attractiveness which is “I want that”.
DianaG said:
I wouldn’t particularly agree with “attractive”, and as I said before, “striking” only in the sense of “like striking me in the face with a brick”. As I said, opinions differ.
Some men pay extra for that! But for me, yes it is the physical features.
gurujulp said:
Back before the '60s, there were all sorts of words used to describe the amount of blackness a person had. “One drop” in that timeframe was essentially a racist attitude of racial impurity. During the '60s, there was the “Black pride” movement, and the effort was made to erase distinctions of status based upon how much white you have. “One drop” was thus the delineation chosen in part due to the prior racial impurity argument - essentially it was taking back the argument and turning it on its head.
As for who decides who looks black vs white, that’s where we don’t have any objective lines, and several posters have made the point that the collection of features many characterize as “black” or “white” are not really definitive.
Klaatu said:
Someone clearly has issues here, and it is not just the OP. I will admit that when I was younger and more naive, I thought similar questions about comparativeness of attractiveness of ethnic groups. And no, I’m not the kind to sit around discussing “would you fuck that?” in bars or elsewhere. I read this OP as a sincere but misguided question about beauty/sexual desireability with regards to racial and ethnic groups.
Mijin said:
“More desirable” in what way? I think several posters have made the point that white women are more desirable to black men for social and status reasons without being as a class more physically attractive on some objective level.
Different levels depending upon the kind of relationship - a one night stand has more leeway than marriage potential, especially with regards to going down in social status. That said, the biggest issue is that a lot of the social status is ingrained and not deliberate overt choice, but rather embedded in assumptions of what is attractive or in who to consider and where to look for ladies. You won’t find that Wall Street tychoon hunting down mohawked, pierced, tatooed biker chicks unless he is into that scene.
MeanOldLady said:
Wait, you’re black? How did I not know that? (Probably because it doesn’t matter to me, so it hasn’t come up.)
That’s an interesting observation. I’m not sure what to make of this. I think you are right, that it is about fitting some narrow preconception of what black is - part of it is speech and mannerisms. You mention it with regards to “talk good”. Maybe you don’t come off as either ghetto (gangsta) or southern black (soul food). I think they mean in some social behavior kind of conflict of expectations.
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with having a personal standard, but trying to argue it is an objective standard of measure is inappropriate.
I agree, there are subconscious factors that affect attraction beyond mere appearance.
you with the face said:
Wow, I can’t imagine uttering that line in anything other than a purely bizarre observation kind of way - “Hey, in this light you look white,” just like I’ve been asked if I have Chinese ancestry because of my eyes (none whatsoever - but I’ve noticed that about my eyes, too). But your description doesn’t sound that way at all.
An Arky said:
Well, if you’re already at the bottom of the totem pole, everything is up! 
Seriously, different people think differently and in different contexts. There’s hook ups vs dating vs. marriage. There’s purely physical vs. reacting to personality and behavior and such. And your judgments of status can be embedded in your assumptions or internalized and subconscious. It’s not necessarily overt.
Not unless you’re a woman, or possibly a gay man.
Women are sex objects. Men are status objects.
The emphasized part made me laugh.
Would either of you care to fight my ignorance by providing a link, or article? Thanks.
Sure, I’ll just get the people I heard this from second hand to type up an article.