I’ve had friends who dated assholes, and I could be objective about it, tolerating the asshole because I wanted to be there for my friend when/if it all fell apart. I couldn’t do that if someone had been a serious asshole to me: tolerating them would seem like forgiving them. And it would seem disrespectful of my pain to take up with the person that caused it. But I am talking about a serious asshole, not just a normal jerk/person who was less than kind in a breakup.
I have a suggestion for Mangosteen: why don’t you talk to your up-grade hottie Chinese wife about how hurt you feel over this whole thing, and see what kind of support she gives you?
You’ve glossed over the most important thing about this situation: what the reason was for things going bad. If the OP’s girlfriend had wronged him in some way, it would not be unreasonable to be unhappy that his friend didn’t care about what she did to him. But she didn’t, which means he has no excuse for holding their relationship against either of them.
I’m checks bits one of the women who have responded and I still can’t see what your problem is… you’re feeling betrayed by him because you think he may have dated the girl you dropped? Are you sure it wasn’t him you wanted to bang?
Manosteen is being a “chick” on this issue. Skald is wrong about this being a “guy rule”. Guys don’t care about what happens to exes. Chicks do.
It isn’t even old school not to date your friends’ exes. You don’t date them when your friend is still hurting over the breakup… unless he gets exessive about it, then he’s just being a martyr.
Exes are exes and available for perusal.
I know guys who have asserted that men may not date one another’s exes.
Yeah, my ex said this. To the man who wound up becoming Mr. Horseshoe.
It depends on the ex, I think. I’d be really hurt and betrayed if anyone I knew started dating the first boyfriend I had, but with my last ex it wouldn’t matter.
Ok, I’ll bite: Why? What’s so special about Dude #1 that would make you feel betrayed* that Dude #1+N is missing?
- hurt, I get - that’s private and internal … but betrayed??
Very well said.
Mango, you’re the sucky friend for holding this against your buddy.
I agree completely. “Bros before hos” is the cry of an emotionally retarded man-child, not an adult capable of a healthy relationship. Been with my girlfriend for almost 12 years, and that relationship is far more rewarding and important to me than any I have with my “guy friends”.
purplehorseshoe writes:
> Yeah, my ex said this. To the man who wound up becoming Mr. Horseshoe.
So your husband took your name?
Those guys are acting like chicks.
Actually, pretty much all of the “chicks” in this thread have expressed the opposite opinion.
If you are using “acting like chicks” as a shorthand for anything you think is lame, maybe it’s time to reexamine that practice.
No, and I do not consider the women on SD to be a representative sample of women in society. Most women have a definite code among friends that a guy they have dated or even been interested in is off limits to the other women in their circle. Guys do not, except for Mango.
You seem very sure of that. I’m not sure your certainty is warranted.
That’s the one good thing about the internets, we’re all entitled to our opinions.
Actually, the code is not unusual at all – c’mon “bros before hos” and all – you just grow out of it after high school.
I’m guessing here…but I’d be willing to bet that Mango didn’t spend 7 years overseas finding his Chinese bride, and finishing high school upon his return.