Well the guy is a little serious…because when I started teasing him many months ago, he was mystified. Then one day he asked me why I always teased him…He said, “you don’t seem like a mean person.” I told him I wasn’t mean, just spunky. His face lit up.
Now he seems to like me that way. I told him recently I’d stop teasing him if he’d like because I never want to hurt his feelings. He said not to stop.
He’s been a great friend to me…and we’ve been subtley flirting with each other for over a year. I get that sometimes people’s feelings don’t match up. Like I’m ready to have his babies (if I were of child-bearing age) and he’s ready to go out once a month for a few beers.
So I hope that I continue to grow on him.
10 or more years ago, she was actually a right little hottie. She seems consciously to have changed her image, with her new plastic face and being so focused on gay men and celebrities.
It depends on the type of humor. The whole dumb blonde thing (think Suzanne Somers on Three’s Company) is spectacularly unappealing. Being funny and smart (think Roxanne Roberts on Wait, Wait, Don’t Tell Me) is killer.
Oh, yes. Funny is sexy. Smart is sexy. The two together…? :: breaks out in a sweat ::
Stupid and simpering, giving away your power, is not sexy.
However, teasing is not necessarily sexy, either, especially if it’s done with no sense of whether the other person is hurt or not. There’s a difference between ‘fun’ and ‘mean’.
I have loved two women in my life. The first one made me laugh like no one else ever could. I miss her still. But everyone is different.
(P.S. I never thought Lucille Ball was funny.)
I love this line. 
Yes. Especially if they’re attractive.
Depends on the type of humor. If it’s low key ultra witty, perfect. Means she’s smart, not out to prove anything, confident. If it’s put down humor, a la Don Rickles, no way. Most likely a bitch, imho. Weird, creepy, offbeat? Depends. I like that sometimes, in some ways, from some people, but if it’s always more creepy as opposed to merely offbeat, then no.
Yeah, I got a lot of rules about peeing, too.
Funny is sexy, but jouvinile isn’t. So someone incapable of being serious is just as offputting as someone without a sense of humour.
I think many people learn to be funny as a defence strategy, as such many funny people have difficult relationships but not because they are funny but because of the underlying thing that brought about the defensive strategy.
Many very funny people are depressed, or suffered during their child hood, or have other mental illnesses that makes relationships difficult for them.
Yep, I always said I suffered from Eve Arden Syndrome: I was the cynical wisecracking pal of the leading lady, but men ran like scared little rabbits.
Now, they just run because I’m old. I guess I have progressed to Thelma Ritter Syndrome.
Sounds like what you’ve got here is your standard “dense guy syndrome”. The subtlty of flirting may be a bit beyond his grasp. You’re just going to have to be a little more blunt, and keep your good humor while doing so.
Probably a good idea to remind him when you’re joking, on a regular basis. If he’s motivated, he’ll eventually learn your sense of humor. If he doesn’t, it may be that he’s just not that into you.
But methinks that the problem lies not with your sense of humor, but with his humor receptors.
I suspect that most of the men in my life who’ve found me attractive were responding to my sense of humor rather than to my looks. Now that I am pushin’ 60, that’s a good thing.
If I didn’t already find a woman attractive, her sense of humor wouldn’t make her any hotter to me. But a funny girl who I already think is good-looking is instantly made even more sexy.
And I think Margaret Cho is hot, hot, hot - but I can’t stand her “comedy.”
[chauvinist pig]
I love a funny woman, but only certain kinds. I love a dry, pithy, sarcastic humor in a woman. Women who are funny with over-the-top, obnoxious or in-your-face humor turn me off. So do women who have to dominate a conversation or a room in order to get the laughs. Women who are witty and funny and gracious without appearing to try too hard give me such a hard-on that I get a little faint.
[/chauvinist pig]
One particular funny that doesn’t turn me on at all: Wendy Liebman. She’s a stand-up comic with a breathy sing-song voice and glassy little Klonopin eyes crazy as a bedbug, who has this maddening habit of making little trailing pseudo-subliminal whispers out of every damn punchline sorta like this.
There’s a joke in here along the lines of how smart can she be if she’s with you, but this thread has taught me that people don’t like women who make mean jokes. And it probably wouldn’t be that funny, so it wouldn’t gain me any admirers, so you get a pass this time.
Love ya! 
I can vouch for the singing thing: after all these years, it still amazes me how much more attention I get after I’ve been on stage.
That right there is the key to a lot of these “Do men/women like men/women who xxxxx?” questions.
IMO that’s not “funny,” that’s “insecure.”
For a woman who is sexy because she is funny (and charming) is Victoria Wood.
I can tell you, without reservation, that I like women who xxxxx.
It’s still often funny, just not in a way that intrigues me emotionally or appeals to me sexually.
Interesting. One of the main things about my boyfriend that attracts me is his sense of humor… he makes me laugh. As for me, I make him laugh too, but not as often; he’s got that class clown thing going on, where I was the kid sitting in the back of the class passing an ironic comment now and then.
What I do have, which may be sort of what the article is saying, is the ability to take a joke, not get all mad or offended, and give it back. A lot of women, I guess, are not able to take a good ribbing, and certainly not able to deliver a solid riposte when necessary. Taking oneself overly seriously is not attractive, IMO.
I have no idea if it’s true, but it’s interesting and I can buy it as generally true. For myself, I actually find I can’t get too close to women if I can get them to laugh and they can’t get me to laugh. I guess it makes me think they don’t have a lot of personality.
I find ‘funny’ very attractive. If it’s the mean, exclusive kind - well, most people don’t want to be friendly with someone like that, I think. Maybe it’s threatening to people who think they aren’t funny. I admit the girl I’m dating these days isn’t very funny, but she wants to learn and she’ll get it.
I have no idea if it’s true, but it’s interesting and I can buy it as generally true. For myself, I actually find I can’t get too close to women if I can get them to laugh and they can’t get me to laugh. I guess it makes me think they don’t have a lot of personality.
I find ‘funny’ very attractive. If it’s the mean, exclusive kind - well, most people don’t want to be friendly with someone like that, I think. Maybe it’s threatening to people who think they aren’t funny. I admit the girl I’m dating these days isn’t very funny, but she wants to learn and she’ll get it.