Are sweeping generalizations and false choices evil, or just stupid?
bingo!
No, you want an aft missile launcher. Otherwise you’d have to drive through the debris.
Yes. In most motorcycle vs. car collisions the cage driver is at fault and says, ‘I didn’t see the motorcycle.’ Having been trained in situational awareness and having driven and ridden untold miles, I’ve observed a lot of other drivers. Do a SDMB search on ‘Left-Seat Passengers’ to read about them.
For the most part, I think people who drive Hummers want to play soldier, including adopting the percieved attitude of one; or feel that they can use their vehicle to help validate their identity as a neoconservative uber-patriot. I really believe that a few own them just to spite liberals and environmentalists.
About 90% of the Hummers I see around here have at least one Support the Troops-like ribbon magnet mounted on the rear. Last November, about half had a Bush sticker on the rear, and I never saw one with a Kerry sticker.
I’m pretty much in the drive what you want group, with one exception. If you cannot get in or out of a standard parking space in your ride of choice, then you need a smaller ride.
Exactly. The cars are marketed to assholes!
I have no problem with the concept of SUVs. There are people who need them. But most people who think they need them in an urban environment actually need a minivan or station wagon. Nobody needs a Hummer, though, unless you’re strapping wounded to the hood or mounting a .50 on the roof. They’re badly designed pieces of shit.
Just buy the car you need. That’s all.
In a city like mine, where space is scarce and Hummers take up two lanes on some major streets and stick out into the lane even when they’re parallel parked against the curb, I feel confident that saying that if you live here and drive a Hummer, you’re a selfish, inconsiderate jackass.
Not that I want to defend those ugly dangerous monstrosities, but I think you’re missing the point of the commercial. It’s not that the kid had to cheat, it’s that he wasn’t constrained by roads.
Of course, it would have been funny if he turned off the road and immediatley broke an axle. 
Resolved: Can I inflame people with a self-serving thread title?
Oh, I understood the idea. I just found myself singing the song "and they couldn't stop Jack from cheating like a motherf***er" :)
As many people here pointed out, the hummers are actualy not that good off road vehicles, and people that would actually need to go off road would buy something else. I know people who spend time off road (hunters, campers, geologists, etc) They prefer jeeps, or land rovers, and wouldn't be caught dead in a humjob.(I’m not arguing with you here, as I think you were just playing the Devil’s Advocate and such- but) Even that argument doesn’t make sense. Granted, they take up more space- apparently two thirds as much more- but they pay a whole lot more too. But yes, first class fliers are jerks too. Why? Because I’m not one of them 
As far as Hummer drivers go, throw me into the "automatically thinks ‘asshole’ " group. Oh and I drive a BMW, so that’s from one asshole to another*. I don’t live in a compact place like Troy, so it isn’t really the size that bothers me. Heck, this is a farming community and you see all kinds of Ford F350s being driven to the grocery store or 17 year old girls driving their very own F250s. What bothers me is that the car really doesn’t serve a purpose like the 250 and 350 might.
Yes, it’s big. But Hummer’s super awesome selling point was that it was all terrain and you could drive it through the damn ocean- I’m pretty sure you can’t do that with an H2 or H3 (although, I’d like to see someone try). Granted, driving your car through a bunch of water really has little practical application, but at least it is there. H2s and H3s are just BIG, ugly, boxy-designed crap mobiles.
At least my BMW has a nice engine 
(kidding kidding, please don’t hurt me!)
*I actually also think that when I see other BMW drivers, but then I realize I am in a BMW as well and stfu. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve yelled out, “Fucking asshole! Thinks his dick is so big because he is in a motherfucking BMW. Thinks he’s so goddamn special because he’s in his BM— son of a bitch.”
Yep, Humvees are stupid.
Not real Humvees. Real Humvees are cool. But those H2 fake Humvees are just stupid. Look, you can put whatever kind of body you like on your light truck chassis, that doesn’t make it a Humvee.
I agree with the consensus that only an asshole would buy a Humvee.
Humvee anecdote: Along my rout to work there’s a neon-yellow Humvee parked outside. This guy has a mounting rack on the back of his Hummer. For his neon-yellow Segway. The Segway has giant knobbly offroad tires. The mind boggles.
I have to believe that this guy bought the offroad Segway and mounted it on his Humvee as a joke. As a joke it’s actually kind of funny. But is that one joke worth $60,000?
It’s always kind of amusing to watch Hummer drivers totally fail when driving on the crowded narrow streets around here. That is, until you’re looking for a parking spot and some asshole is taking up two and a half of them. I think city Hummer drivers should have to pay extra money to make up for all the extra space they take up parking.
Locally, there is a neon yellow H2 with a matching Hummer mountain bike on its mounting rack. First thing I thought was how nice of GM to provide an actual off-road vehicle for the H2 buyer–or at least a back-up mode of transport for when (s)he breaks the axle.
In general, I’m in the buy/drive what you want camp, but I also auto-characterize Hummer drivers as either stupid or assholes. Since I believe there are only two kinds of people in the world–stupid people and assholes*–this doesn’t matter.
- which are you today?
I would like to say that I have seen different behaviors from the two hummer camps: The H2 drivers and the HMMWV drivers. The people driving those overgrown Tonka-truck H2’s are generally not so good at it; they wanted a HMMWV without the $80k price tag, so they bought a $50k H2, and they’re not real good at maneuvering them around. The HMMWV drivers, however, tend to be good truck drivers and manage their vehicles better. I have, however only once seen somebody using one for the reason you’d want one: towing a huge boat.
To be fair, most of the people driving them where they’re built for are far from the rest of us… to those of you asking, “When was the last time you saw somebody off-roading in their SUV?”, I ask, how often do you go where that happens so you can see what people are using?
In conclusion, I drive a Ford E-350 van, and I think the two incarnations of the Hummer are somewhat useful little trucks. The only reason to buy a HMMWV is if you need to fulfill one of the main design criteria the army used: Get a squad of people and a bunch of gear anywhere a wheeled vehicle can go. If all you’re doing is driving down the pavement, buy a Suburban if you need the seating, a little van or a pickup truck if you need the cargo space, and a big van if you need both.
A hummer trying to park HA HA HA!!!
Um…
Wha…?
An offroad Segway? Is that for when you want to rough it?
I believe the vehicle available for consumer purchase is just called the “Hummer.” The HMMV or the HMMMV or the HMMWV is the one made for military use.
Neither, unless you’re referring to Hummer limos. Those things probably get two gallons to the mile.
The H1 was basically identical to the military version but with a few creature comforts.