And that’s weird. And a shame. There are some really hunky Asian guys out there.
But I am reminded of a charming little TV Movie I saw years ago: Earth Angel. The girl was caucasian, her “romantic interest” (Dustin Nguyen) was Asian. And he was cute! Why shouldn’t he be a “leading man”?
That is exactly right JThunder,Iam a somewhat overweight woman who never complains if a male isn’t accepting of me,I just move on and find one who is,Godspeed,Monica
Fair enough. It’s the sheer size of the list that makes it unreasonable. But now we’re down to a list of 3:
Frantic Mad, surely there is some physical trait that is a turn-off for you Sure. The trouble is that I kept discovering that I loved and had a really good time with people who were poor, fat, brunette, ugly, tall, not so stimulating, and not always fun. Weird, huh?
so you know, dismount the old high horse, will ya? No way, I like it up here dammit. You asked for My Humble Opinion and you got it. I’ll grant you this – if the future shows that you met and stayed with someone who fit your list, then it was not unreasonable. If you meet such a person, good for you, but the loss is yours. You will never have stretched your understanding of who you are capable of loving – which is something that has taught me, in my life, to be a better person than I was.
Duke: How tall are you? Can you slice cheese with your chin? Kidding. E-mail me, will ya? I’m in NY down near the PA border, not too close, but you know, it’s e-mail. No big deal.
I am capable of loving all kinds of people, FranticMad, and do. I’m not capable of getting it up for just anyone, though. If you are, bully for you, and I’m sure that’s awfully convenient for you–the whole phone book could be your dating prospects.
I really haven’t had any trouble finding guys who meet most of my criteria, honestly. Just that I’m recently single after spending 4 years not looking around at anyone. Your judgements of my character are not really what I asked for when I asked your opinion, btw, but you know what opinions are like. Best of luck to you with dating people you find ugly, unfunny, and unstimulating. Hope it works out for ya.
My mistake. I apologize.
Dunno what poor Duke has to do with it.
Huh? Oh, wait, I get it, FranticMad somehow mixed up my name in Rubystreak’s quote. Confusion corner there.
FWIW, I’m 6’2".
I should say that, while Rubystreak’s “expectations” are, how should I say, forward, to someone who’s been through the trial of Internet dating they’re hardly unbelievable, or all that unreasonable. The only two I think one might find objectionable are race and money, and those two are front-and-center in any Internet date matching program. Go on any commercial date site, and you’ll see men and women alike talking openly about their preferences in either.
OK, maybe the chin thing is a little funny, too. I’ve never tried to slice cheese with mine.
E-mail duly on its way, once I can recall my Southern Tier geography. 
Is hoping to date someone who makes over $30K/year really unreasonable? Or unrealistic for a 30ish person? I had no idea.
No, it’s not unreasonable. If you live in a city, it’s wise.
Sorry Duke, I didn’t erase that part of the post I was quoting – apologizing when I know I’m wrong gets me rattled.
FranticMad, it’s actually rather wonderful that you are able to apologize. I appreciate it and no hard feelings.
As the G’Dopers would say, no worries, FranticMad.
Ruby, I wouldn’t think 30K/yr is unreasonable. I just think some would find any discussion of money and attention to be a bit troubling. Hence the success of Joe Millionaire IMHO–it allowed some people to feel self-righteous about not needing someone to be rich to be attracted to them.
Besides, who was it who said, “Your demands are unreasonable–I cannot meet them. If I could meet them, I might consider them more reasonable”?
Hey–I’m 29, and I choose guys based on what’s good for me. I have a pretty good grasp, I think, on what’s really important in a relationship (sharing a sense of humor, trust, mutual attraction, etc.) Why is that so hard to imagine?
Maybe in the US, but not in Asia.
That’s rather defensive… I said I found it “a little objectionable” and then went on to ask your reasons. Specifically I was curious to know whether or not you preferred to date within your race for cultural reasons (perfectly good reasons that work for many people) or for physical reasons.
I think what I find a little bizarre about your physical criteria in general is that you acknowledge that they don’t always apply. So you do find some black men attractive, some men with weak chins etc etc. So why bother with the list? Why not just assess each potential date as they come along?
As I said before, thinking about what you want is no bad thing, just don’t rule out someone who doesn’t fit the criteria.
Actually, you described my to a tee… Except that I have a crazy ex-girlfriend that won’t leave me alone.
I really like cats, and am NOT gay or lying about it.
Well, since a couple people are posting, I might as well post mine.
Female.(Non-negotiable)
Straight.
Likes to read(something deeper then pulp books)
Somewhat agrees with me as to politics (This has to do with the fact I’ve found it’s quite annoying to be around people who either worship the ground Bush walks on, or considering him to be Hitler’s dumb little Brother, who has never done anything right or good in his life)
Is niether a reglious fundiementalist or a religion-bashing atheist. (Being told I’m going to hell for not going to church is going to make me not want to be around you just as much as being looked down on because I do believe in God).
6.Must like meat, or at least tolerate it without trying to give me a guilt trip about the animals I am well aware that I’m eating. I respect the vegitarian lifestyle and don’t try to tell them they are wrong, and I expect the same couresty.
Doesn’t object to my hobbies.
Practices good Hygiene. (Showering once a day on average, making a certain effort to stay healthy, etc.)
Intelligent. (Airheads need not apply).
Must have a sense of humor.
Be respectful of my opinions and viewpoints even if you don’t agree with them. (Telling me I’m a idiot or threatening my life is only going to get you a quick trip to the door).
I’ve been told that I’m picky.
Vector: How you doin’?
Sappho: I would never date someone with a weak chin. Ever. I probably wouldn’t date a black man for many reasons, some of which involve my highly bigoted Italian family and not wanting to put someone through that. There are categories on which I’m flexible, and race is not one of them. It’s sad, I know. However, you being offended by my personal taste is, well, a tiny bit offensive in itself. But it’s OK, no big deal to me, really.
I have to step in and defend Rubystreak about not dating black men (or men with a certain physical characteristic):
She’s entitled to be as picky as she wants. (I’m sure no one will dispute this.) And who knows—she may amaze herself and discover herself in love with a weak-chinned black man someday—you never know!
There are a lot of external reasons to not want to date a certain race. (Ruby brings up her bigoted family. It’s a good enough reason, IMO.) Sometimes it’s just not worth the grief. And it isn’t as if Ruby is the Last Woman on Earth, and she’s got an obligation to give the black guys a crack at her. There are plenty of other women who will be very pleased to date black men!
My sister’s husband is black. He’s a great guy. She chose her husband well. But would I want to follow in her footsteps? I am not sure. She’s had to deal with some grief. Maybe I don’t want to deal with that too. (I haven’t decided.) But whatever choice I make, it’s MY choice. It’s nothing to do with bigotry, sometimes it’s just pragmatism.
Being that Iam close to 5ft9 Its a bit odd to be with a shorter male,that is why I have a height criteria. Godspeed,Monica
If I love someone the grief from other people is not even an issue with me. Iam the one in the relationship and not them,however I choose to not be with Black men simply because Iam not attracted to them,well unless they looked like Wesley Snipes,lol
Godspeed,Monica