Are parents who don't push their teenagers to get jobs doing bad by them?

In My Humble Opinion
21

When I was growing up, we needed the money and I worked or tried to, with mixed success, all through HS. My first three college years were actually part-time with a full time job. Then I got a scholarship and, eventually, a TA-ship, to finish.

It never occurred to my kids to work during HS. In college, my older son worked for part of his first summer, then took off with two friends for a month in Europe. I don’t think he worked the other two summers, but he always had a job in the computer center help desk. My younger son worked for two of the three summers for a company in his specialty (traffic engineering) and spent the third as a kind of intern. My daughter worked only in her third summer. But all three had regular jobs at their colleges during the school year. And all three score very high in conscientiousness.

22

One more of the ‘it takes all kinds’ troop. Unlike the parents above mine are hyper-educated and successful and mom - with whom I lived - never allowed me to have a job in high school. I mowed a few lawns for some spare cash but no schedule or whatever. She told me to concentrate on what I was doing - school - and the rest could wait. My first ‘real’ job was spinning records for dances and on-air my freshman year. That summer I bused tables. The second summer I had my paid internship and went on from there.

I did the same for my kids. The oldest got her International Baccalaureate in high school and is kicking ass as a freshman in college. The only work she’s ever done is helping at her dojo teaching the little kids. But she’d have been there afternoons, anyway. She’s taken lessons since she was 4.

23

Part of me things having a job in high school now is more impactful than it was when I was a kid. I did work in high school, but interestingly most of my friends did not. So my jobs were a way to socialize with people I would otherwise not have. I get the feeling it’s harder for kids today to socialize in the way that we did back in the 90s. And yes, there’s the whole “responsibility” of a job, but for me personally those kinds of lessons weren’t so profound. My parents didn’t force me to get a job, but it was encouraged.

Those friends of mine who didn’t work, they did play sports. Sports, or whatever other extracurricular activity, can be another distraction besides a job that would benefit the modern teenager.

24

I don’t think kids necessarily need to get a job during high school, but they should in college. I still keep tabs on the job market even though I’m fully employed and the great majority of full time professional jobs now require 3-5 years of experience for “entry level” positions. Kids get that by working internship and part time professional jobs DURING college. Those that graduate without doing any internships are having a lot of difficulty competing in the current job market.

Even worse, some companies are requiring college kids to have prior internship experience to get an intern job! When I was a kid we had the “need experience to get a job, but need a job to get experience” catch-22. The catch-22 is now pretty much a catch-44 for today’s kids.

25

I’m pretty strongly in the “get a job” camp.

We required that all 3 of our kids get summer jobs as soon as they turned 16. Early jobs included shelver at local library, Dairy Queen, local public works dept. In retrospect, I think such experiences were just about as important as anything they learned in high school.

In our opinion, such work teaches many valuable life lessons, which are better learned before one begins one’s post-school career, such as: the boss isn’t always right, but is always the boss; responsible habits re: money; the importance of adhering to a schedule; having not-wonderful jobs shows the importance of positioning to get better work. Moreover, I’m not sure what they kids would be doing all summer if they weren’t working. My kids, at least, wouldn’t have been spending their time on wonderfully creative and charitable activities. Too many of our friends had teens/college students who stayed up all night, slept all day, and seemed to expect their parents to just support their extended leisurely childhood.

And my kids had had other, less formal gigs such as babysitting, mowing lawns, etc.

I think not having kids work contributes to the prolonged infantilization, which I perceive as too common. But of course, different kids respond best to different things.

My neighbors have 2 HS boys. They have had NO DIFFICULTY getting jobs - lifeguard at local pool, stocker at local grocery store, assisting a photographer of local youth athletic teams. Now KEEPING those jobs, the kids have had more difficulty with! :wink: But in my Chicago suburb, there is absolutely no impediment to a teen finding employment.

26

We didn’t push our daughter to work; she was in college before she had a summer job (she often took classes in the summer). She is a perfectly fine worker – conscientious and willing to do whatever is asked of her.,

So I’d say personality is a bigger factor.

27

In my experience-it depends.
Every child will benefit from learning to hold a job and do it well. But every child will pay a price for that experience. All of us do. We give up time that could be used in other ways. We suffer mental and physical trouble during our work. No one has a perfect job. Fortunately the trouble suffered by working is usually minor compared to benefits. And learning to cope with that trouble is a major reason for a young person to hold the job.

But it depends. A child with physical or mental issues may not be up to working. Or the work may cause significant damage. A child who would clearly benefit from working may benefit more from some other activity. Just as anyone would.

The decision in almost all cases is to try to have the child work. But be aware of the costs and balance the cost/benefit ratio. The answer is never always. :slight_smile:

28

I think kids should learn what it is to earn money, especially if they want Mommy and Daddy to buy them something really pricey. When I wanted a better guitar, I saved for it. When I wanted my driver’s license, I could only get it if I could pay my share of insurance and gas. When I wanted to go to college, I had to save and apply for scholarships.

My daughter got a job so she could get a phone… and pay for her insurance and gas… and (while in college) contribute towards her living expenses. Having to do crappy menial labor is a valuable life experience, IMHO, and no kid should be deprived of it.

29

I’m going to fall in the category of “disservice”.

Not because I think that shitty jobs are character building, but rather because for most kids when I was in high school, that money they earned was usually their first real money that was substantial and that they generally had total control over, unless their parents were real control freaks and presumed to tell them how to spend the money they had worked for.

That’s a powerful thing- earning money outside of rinky-dink $20 here, $10 there type money or maybe a total haul of $100-150 on Xmas or your birthday was an eye-opening thing for me. Not only did I make what I got from my grandparents for Xmas in one week, it was money that I had worked for. So it was a sum that I could actually spend on stuff beyond just snacks, movie tickets, etc… but it was also money that I was well aware of the amount of effort that went into it. Prior to that, I didn’t have much- gift money and the occasional $10 or $20 I could wheedle out of my folks.

It more or less forced me to reevaluate my spending and saving habits in a positive way. That’s what the real benefit is- it’s an early, essentially risk-free start on proper financial behavior, assuming your parents don’t subsidize you. You learn that blowing it all up front may be fun, but you don’t really have anything left. Or you can save it up and buy something. Or a mix.

FYI, my first job was mowing a couple of lawns a week at $15 each. So $30/wk all summer long. Then my next job was as a janitor and busboy for about 3 hours @ $3.35/hr and another 3 at $2.01 + 1% of the total tips for the restaurant.

30

There are lots of ways to teach a work ethic to your children. My dad got me a job sweeping a sheet metal shop when I was 15 and then working as a mechanic’s assistant in a rock quary when I was 16. After that though it became apparent that I could get an athletic scholarship to college and it was more important to attend camps and workout then it was to work. I was still spending 6-8 hours a day working on a schedule but not getting paid for it.

I think the rule my friends parents had was best. “I don’t care what you’re doing but you’ll either get a job, be in a play or be on a sports team but you will not be laying around between 8 am and 5 pm.” Playing video games and eating junk food with your friends doesn’t help anyone but getting out and “working” is effective no matter what the work is.

31

I am betting the amount of hardship a teen has in acquiring a job depends a lot on their mobility. If they don’t drive and don’t have access to public transit (or don’t avail themselves of it for whatever reason) and aren’t located close to a bustling business district, then I can see how it would be very hard to get a job.

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32

Dad’s side of the clan everyone seems to want to work; I can’t think of a person who was pushed into it although even today most start some kind of responsible job (as opposed to “chores”) by 16 or so. I don’t know if its genetic or environment but we just naturally gravitate that direction. Mothers side is the exact opposite and some are now starting a third generation basically on the public dole. I don’t have much contact with them needless to say.

33

Lessons learned at work can far exceed lessons learned at school.

34

When I turned 15 it was expected that I would get a job. I wanted a job so I could have some degree of independence. It would have been a big disservice to me to not have had that experience. It helped me to learn responsibility and the value of money.

35

Sophia earned her first legitimate dollar at the age of 10 - she borrowed $50 from me and, going to Michaels (and other like stores), bought a bunch of stuff to make soaps and other lotions. I threw in $20… call it Paid In Capital… and bought labels and bottles, created a quick design for “Sophia’s Scentsations™” branded products.

She made her soap, we packaged it, she went door-to-door, made $290, paid me back $52 (interest), and walked away with $248 for her upcoming trip to LA. I mean, people just threw money at her - “Here’s $20, honey, and you just keep the change.”

She then got a job @ Culver’s, a fast food place within walking distance. Worked that for two years then decided in October to quit to focus on her studies - her grades have improved (well, from a 91 average to a 96) - but has been so thrifty that, even though she quit with $400 in the bank account, she still has $251 of it left.

Yesterday she decided to have a bake sale, so she spent $9 on ingredients and sold $46 of cupcakes and cookies in about 3 hours of effort (she literally just planted a table in our front yard, had a “Bake Sale” sign that she made, and sat there from 4:30-5:30pm, selling everything she had). When I pointed out to her that her “wage” was $13/hour, she said “well, better than Culver’s, but I can do better next time.” And she will.

In a number of ways, I’m not really that worried about my daughter - she’s going to be just fine.

So, yes: Work as a child is important. Earning money as a child is important. Yes, it depends upon the child, but I can’t think of many children to whom this would be a bad thing, but I’m sure they exist.

36

I turn 50 in April and I have two young daughters. For me, it seems I have always worked from a very young (too young?) age. In many ways this was simply an economic issue, we were poor growing up and any money I could make helped the household directly or indirectly. I don’t regret it, it instilled core values in me that I still use today. I started delivering newspapers at 8 years old and by 13 I had multiple paper routes. We moved to another state at that time and I discovered most paper routes were held by adults. So I worked “under the table” at different restaurants as a dishwasher until I was legal to work with a student work permit at 16. From 16-18 I worked in a fast food restaurant with many of my school friends. My first office job was at 18 and today I work in technology for a large FinTech.

I realize that my experience growing up may not be my daughter’s. When the time is right, I want her to work but certainly not at the age that I started. I also don’t want her to feel like she has to work like I did. I really do not have the attitude that since I’ve done better in life that my kids shouldn’t have to toil and work until after college. But I can’t say now whether I’ll push lightly or harder for them to work as teenagers.

37

I never even thought about it. My oldest was told she could get a job when she finished high school. In my mind high school is a full-time job. She picked up work immediately after she finished high school, no problem. She was still a teen, but she was 18 and could make her own choices. My younger daughter has expressed an interest in a volunteer job when she turns 15 but that will only be during the summer. I would prefer she not work because I think high school years are the time you focus on education.

My opinion may be colored by the fact that I had to work when I was 14 to help my mom pay the bills and I hated it, but it had to be done. I was tired all the time, I was around adults who got me in to trouble, and I ended up dropping out thinking I was better off making five bucks an hour than finishing high school.

38

I just wanted to add my daughters always had a way to earn extra money but it was coming from me or someone else in the family/friend circle. Neither ever got allowance, but they would babysit/dogsit/do extra work around the house not already on their chore list, etc. My roommate has always paid my younger daughter to do housework for his part of the house, but nothing they did distracted them from school work, especially with my youngest also needing therapy twice a week and school club activity. I don’t know where she’d find the time for a job!

39

A couple of people have touched on this but what do kids do when they want money of their own and are discouraged from employment? And, apologies for sounding flippant here, but where do they get their vice money?

40

Having a job creates more opportunities than opportunity costs, IMO. So I can’t see myself not encouraging my daughters to get jobs, especially during the summer.