My interpretation of what he said is that we are more free to express non-stereotypical behavior than most straight guys.
Yes, to a point, and beyond this I was under the impression that the ever increasing weight of scientific evidence that points toward a combination of complex genetic and epi-genetic factors indicating gay men and women are behaviorally predisposed that way from birth, was embraced as evidence that being gay was not a choice but an innate preference.
Sexuality is fluid not a discrete category, we all start off life as female after all… Heterosexual and gay people all possess blending of male and female components in various admixtures. It’s my understanding that latest research shows parts of the brain structures of male and female gay people are like those of the opposite heterosexual sex more than the corresponding same heterosexual sex. IE some gay male brain structures are functionally wired like female heterosexual brains and the same for female heterosexual brains, with certain lesbian brain structures being more like heterosexual male brain structures than female heterosexual brain structures.
If (per jayjay’s point) your larger complaint is that you think my observation that there is a significant component of gay male culture focused on directing seductive and desiring attention on itself in the same way that heterosexual females do, but aggressively dialed up to 11 is wrong, we will have to agree to disagree. I do think this reflects a unique “synthesis” of innate male and female characteristics expressing itself as social behavior.
Honestly it’s kind of odd to be on the other side of a discussion about gay behavioral predispositions where I’m being told by a gay man that it’s really all about culture not innate biologically mediated behavioral predispositions.
Sexual preference is (mostly) innate. How this is expressed (with “masculine” or “feminine” behavior, turned up to eleven or not) is culturally defined.
I don’t think there is there is the strict bifurcation between nature and nurture here that your statement implies. “Innate sexual preferences” come loaded with a complex of predispositions, behaviors and attitudes that will be mediated by culture in terms of how they are expressed. To say they will be “defined” by culture as if gay male preferences and attitudes are a malleable play dough instead of a powerful energy that culture has to conform to in seeking a balance is (IMO) incorrect.
I’m also a bit confused why those Santas in Alabama are considered “gay activists”.
Does that mean porn stars are considered feminist activists and actors in romantic comedies are “straight activists”?
Who you are and what you are is that you have a sexual and romantic preference for people of the same sex. “Prancing around in skimpy attire” is a behavior, and people don’t have to accept behavior they don’t like.
I’m not saying you have to disown anyone, but don’t try to equate who you are with how you choose to act. Don’t act like someone is being homophobic when they wouldn’t like what you are doing no matter your sexuality.
All people, no matter what their sexuality, have to “act ‘respectable’” in order to be accepted. There are plenty of behaviors that I might like to do that would cause people not to want to be around me anymore. This wouldn’t change if I were gay, nor should it.
Having all your behaviors accepted should not be a part of your mission. Because that crosses the line into wanting special treatment. If I went around in only boxer shorts and walked around town around main street, I would not be accepted, as I would not be acting “respectable.”
You do realize that a) none of what’s been mentioned is 24/7 behavior and b) there are plenty of straight people who are just as “bad” (if you consider it bad) and c) NONE of those straight people get told that because they act that way in New Orleans during Mardi Gras or in Vegas during their industry convention that they don’t deserve to be treated equally under the law so they’d better clean up their act if they want to get married or not get fired for being straight.
No, they don’t. But we ought to be able to have rational conversations about what we like and what we don’t and we should try to treat everybody equally. If people are only willing to accept gay people if they’re indistinguishable from straight people, that’s not any kind of acceptance.
Once again, see the dance thing.
That last sentence is what people probably have a problem with. Homosexuality is not some weird synthesis of innate male and female characteristics. There may be some connection between sexuality and sex/gender, but they aren’t the same thing by a long shot.
There are, for example, quite a few “butch” gay men, and quite a few “femme” lesbians women. The only thing all gay people have in common is their attraction to the same sex. There may be more “femme” gay men, but that’s similar to how there are more rationalist atheists. One does not mean the other.
Oh, baby, I did me some inappropriately hot gay activism just this morning. I was in my grubby Kilauea tee shirt that I spilled coffee on and the pajama bottoms I slept in. I was all, y’know, tousled from not having showered and my breath was bad. I emailed some politicians. It was sexxxaaay.
ETA: And I’m old and fat. There you go. Lock up the kids.
I am sending this off to Penthouse Letters, if you don’t mind. 
Well, only if you show me your ban hammer… Oops, there I go with my sexualized gay activism again.
Amusingly enough, one of my very first posts here was about how to clean my knives, and someone asked me to narrate it “detailed erotica style.”
I don’t know if you got the word, but I made a “lifestyle change” a while back and had my “ban hammer” removed. While some still snicker at me and point, my real friends have accepted that I like to be called “member” now.
“Member” will do just fine.
Oh oh. They said “member.”
You know what really chaps my ass?
If what he said is true, then apparently nothing.
There they go again with that overly sexualized talk.
I suppose this isn’t the place to talk about feminism and the way people in the 70s were always telling women we couldn’t be taken seriously unless we presented in a more feminine, socially acceptable, way, but it somehow seems relevant to me.