Ask the Gay Guy!

Great Debates
1

I’m not really sure if I want to do this or not, but here goes…

As there seems to be more than just a little misinformation out there, both subtle and gross, about homosexuality, I wonder if there is interest in a “Homosexuality 101: Everything You Always Wanted To Know About Homosexuality But Were Afraid To Ask” thread?

Essentially, if you have a question regarding homosexuality (i.e., “Why are people gay?” “What does top/bottom mean?” “What’s your phone number?” :slight_smile: ), post it here, and I (and hopefully other gay people like Otto and SqrlCub, for example) could post our personal experiences and knowledge on the subject. No, I’m no “expert” on homosexuality, but I do know what it’s like to be gay, so between my personal experience and factual data I can cite, I think it might be useful for some people even to have one gay person’s point of view. (I used to do these things in sociology, social work, etc. classes in college - basically it was, “Hi, I’m gay - any questions?” and people would write down questions and a bunch of us would answer them.)

Now, I am not lesbian, bisexual or transgendered, but if questions are asked regarding these topics, I could answer to the best of my ability, seek others who could from a personal perspective, or cite from other sources.

Now, a few rules I’d like to see followed:

[ul][li]No flaming (other users, that is); that’s what the Pit is for.[/li][li]No religious debates; there are adequate other threads in GD for that.[/li][li]No civil rights debates; there are adequate other threads in GD for that, too.[/li][li]Opinions should be expressed in a non-abusive way (at least try not to be offensive, and assume what you’re reading isn’t intended that way, either).[/li][li]If you are expressing an opinion, do not state it as fact, unless you have the cites to back it up.[/ul][/li]
(Yeah, yeah, I doubt people will stick to it, but it’s worth a shot.)

So, basically, I’ll open the floor… any questions?

Esprix

(Be kind, O Great Moderator!)

2

How do you think the government should decide how much money to put into research for Aids as compared to Cancer?

3

{sigh}

First off, AIDS is not a gay-exclusive disease (just an FYI).

Second, I am assuming you already know the ratio between the two and you’re just trolling.

Third, my feelings are mixed on the subject, and I’ve done no research, so I suppose I’m comfortable with leaving such decisions up to the experts at the CDC and similar institutions.

Esprix

Next time I want your opinion I’ll beat it out of you.

4

Dear Gay Guy

Are there any gay relationships in which anal sex is proscribed voluntarily by the parties?

5

Wait, are you asking if there are couples who only engage in anal intercourse, or who never engage in anal intercourse?

Personally, it’s never been a requirement for me - there are lots of other things to do for fun. :wink:

(Of course, I wonder if we should even get into sex questions - it could get, um… sticky. :slight_smile: )

Esprix

6

I’m not all that impressed. You fold at the first question.

I’m not trolling. This is an issue I see all the time being brought up by Aids activists. You asked if anyone had any questions, so I asked the one question I had. Check out my posting history. This is my first post in any of the “gay” threads.

I never said that Aids was gay exclusive, although it certainly it many times more prevelant in homosexuals than in heterosexuals. I never see cancer activists standing up screaming about funding, nor any other activist for any other health issues.

IMHO you make a poor spokesman for homosexuals. If you really want to increase understanding between heterosexuals and homosexuals then you should welcome ANY question that is asked in good taste. Ridiculing the first guy who comes along with a question just doesn’t seem the best way to foster understanding.

7

Dear Gay Guy

Proscribe means to prohibit.

8

If you notice, I did answer your question. :slight_smile: In all honesty, I don’t have any statistics - would you like some?

Well, historically speaking, groups like ACT-UP had to be loud and noisy, as the disease was ignored for so long, written off as a “gay disease.” Also, other activists for other disease causes do stand up and scream about funding - haven’t you ever watched Jerry Lewis? Finally, if you haven’t noticed, the “screaming” has died down, and funding for AIDS research is pretty much handled on par with other disease - black-tie fund raisers, organized solicitations, etc. Do ACT-UP and similar groups still exist? You betcha - there are some very frustrated people in the world.

Eh, the question smelled like trolling. My sincerest apologies if I was mistaken. i am, after all, just human… :slight_smile:

Esprix

9

I looked it up, but I wuz confoosed. :slight_smile:

Not knowing the intimate sexual habits of all my gay couple friends, I can’t say for sure, but I’m inclined to believe that, yes, there are. If I met the man of my dreams and he said he didn’t want to ever engage in anal intercourse, I’d still marry him.

Now, if he said he didn’t want to have any kind of sex at all, well, then I might have a problem… :slight_smile:

Esprix

10

Oh, I see what you’re saying.

If it’s a B flat chord, then E is a diminished fifth. I love diminished chords, too!

11

I guess that was bound to happen sooner or later. Sorry, Gay Guy…

12

OK, here’s a question I’ve been wondering about lately, for good reason that needs not be gone into here.

The word “queer” - used to be a slur, now is commonly used by gays. Would you still be offended if a hetero said it - in a manner that isn’t intended as a slur, I mean - or is it like the n-word which only blacks can get away with using (and BTW, anyone who wants to debate that topic, please start another thread).

Thanks Esprix!

“Shut up! I’m having a rhetorical conversation!”

13

In the days when “the love that dare not speak its name” was precisely that, one of the euphemisms used was “musical.”

Winston Churchill was once asked if he had ever tried out homosexuality, and admitted that he had once, with composer/music publisher Ivar Novello. His interrogator then asked how it was for him, and Churchill’s answer, with a twinkle in his eye, was “Musical!” :slight_smile:

[This post was an attempt to save Lib. from having to apologize for clicking on the wrong thread, by pretending he actually meant to post it here.]

14

I mean no disrespect, but I’ve always wanted to know why homosexuals feel the need to martyr themselves? Your gay, fine, you can stop raising awareness now. I knew a gay guy once and we never got along (nothing to do with being gay, he was just an asshole) so I never go the chance to ask him why he “came out” to everyone he met.

15

It was asked why gay people martyr themselves.

To answer we don’t really. Overall, most gay people are simply that…people. I also suppose that when you say martyr you are not referring to people like Matthew Shepherd who died simply because they were gay but on a simpler degree of martyrdom The few people you see that do indeed martyr themselves do so in the hope that the equal rights that all people in the US are promised but not actually received are put on the forefront of American thought. There is a great disparity between where we can live and what we can do without having the thought that we may be murdered, harasses, etc simply because we don’t fall into the heterosexual majority. This was true with black people before the 60’s and to a lesser extent today and has always been true with gay people. Did you know that after WWII and “all” the people in the concentration camps were freed that the many gay people who were also in the camps were forced to remain. This fact is straight from the US Holocaust Museum in DC and was very powerful. Those type of thoughts are still prevalent when we hear/read postings like those of Orion*Orion and even Adam’s (ARG220) postings saying that not only are we sinners but we should also be strictly punished for being a sinner (see Orion’s thread in GD).

Just my $0.03 (inflation).

HUGS!
Sqrl

SqrlCub’s Arizona Adventure

16

Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm… huh?

Esprix

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17

Esprix:

I just typed into the wrong window, that’s all. I meant to be posting that to the do do me do la sol or sol sol la sol do ti thread.

18

SqrlCub, I guess what I’m asking is why is your sexual orientation relevant to me? If it just comes up casually in conversation that’s one thing, but I find people “shouting it from the roof tops”. Yeah it is just my own experience, but that’s what I see. I’m Polish, that’s who I am, I don’t try to hide it, but I don’t stick it in peoples faces either.

19

It’s fairly synonymous in usage with the n-word - accepted by one’s own kind, accepted by friends of one’s own kind (the assumption is that it’s not meant to be derogatory), unaccepted by a stranger (no matter the intent).

“Queer” itself, though, seems to be less so than “faggot,” as people have tired of referring to the gay/lesbian/bisexual/transgender/straight friends community - “queer” seems to sum it up nicely (better than “freaks” :)). “Faggot,” though, carries stronger connotations, and therefore requires a stronger bond between the sayer and the sayee.

Esprix

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20

The issue is being in the minority, which is a very hard thing to do, particularly in the US. If you were the only woman in a conference full of men, and saw another woman, there would be a natural tendency to want to “bond” with that person, being the two oddballs; if you found no other women, you might feel the pressure to assert yourself more as a woman, being the only “spokesperson.” The situation is similar if you are the only black person, the only Asian person, the only handicapped person, etc. - it is human nature to want to be with your own kind. The same can also be said on a larger societal scale, when minority groups are oppressed.

The distinction of homosexuality is that it is an invisible minority - the color of our skin, the nature of our body, these things do not immediately distinctify us. Sure, we can blend in, and most do, but when one experiences the freedom of being without those societal restrictions (i.e., being “out” to friends and family), the tendency is to celebrate this feeling at every turn; hence, he came out to everyone he saw (which, I think, would be an exaggeration, but I know what you mean).

And, respectfully, I think there is a lot of awareness left to be raised about gay issues, so “getting over it” isn’t quite an option yet; it may never be. To bow to that attitude is to take a big step backwards in the struggle for understanding.

Esprix

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